Girlfriend meeting guy...

[freddofroggo]

Hi. I wondered what people think of this situation.

I've been with my girlfriend for about 2.5 years. Recently, she told me about this guy. About 5 years ago they started liking each other's photos on instagram, and then started direct messaging. This was before I had met her. He lived in a different country and they never met.

Recently while out walking, she mentioned that he was coming over and she was going to show him around for the weekend. I thought that was a bit odd. She says they've been direct messaging pretty much all the time, but she never mentioned him.

Recently, my girlfriend and I had an argument where she broke up with me. She had some things at my house that she wanted back so I said I'd take them to work and she could pick them up or send someone. She said someone would be coming to collect them. I asked who and she said it was this guy when he was over. She also said "we've never flirted or did anything but now I'm single I can't say that won't change."

I did what I think most people, if being honest, would do and checked instagram. It wasn't hard to work out who it was. He's "liked" almost all her recent photos, and before that just a scattering.

Anyhow - she's now asking if we can talk. I love her and don't want to split up.

While I wouldn't dream of asking her not to meet up with this guy, this doesn't really sit happily with me. They're meeting up next week at some point while I'm away.

I'm wondering if I'm wrong to feel concerned about this.

I found the forum she posted. She failed to give half the relevant information and even then, people were responding against her.

She's now blocked me, told me she is meeting this guy, and that we're over.

So, it's safe to say all of you were correct.

www.quora.com/My-boyfriend-is-saying-he-is-not-happy-about-me-meeting-a-friend-who-is-a-guy-unless-he-comes-too-and-giving-me-an-ultimatum-that-I-have-to-choose-him-or-meeting-my-friend-What-would-you-do

Well I guess at least you know now. When is she due to meet him? Do not be on standby for her to come back to if she meets him and he's not the man she is expecting.

@MyOtherProfile I don't know when they are due to meet. However, I do know she never actually asked him to get her stuff from me. So she actually had no reason that I couldn't have joined them. I asked her, she has refused to give me an answer.

He isn't moving here. He's just passing through. I think everyone called it right. She wants to have the option to do whatever she wants with him.

I don't like ultimatums, but I gave her one. She chose to dump me.

I won't be there once he's gone home. She made her choice.

fred ask MN to delete your last post before the daily mail get hold of it.

I think your a handsome chap, you don’t need this woman

Please do get your Instagram deleted for your own privacy. You don't need her. Keep your resolve

Oh for christs sake, stop living out your life in the internet

Some daily rag will get hold of this then your life really will turn to shit.

I'm sorry for what you've been through, OP. But please get some self respect and grow up a little. You are responsible for two kids. Please think about them before completely outing yourself all over the net.

Why would I worry about outing myself? I have nothing to be ashamed of.

I doubt your kids need to see you touting the details of your fucked up relationship to all and sundry

I didn't say you should be ashamed, but it's all very immature and undignified.

I'd be embarrassed for your kids if I knew them and saw all this nonsense online.

You sound better off apart.

I actually think she was gaslighting me - making me feel like I was wrong to be worried.

24/05/2019, 16:37 - her: Sadly I cant ask you to join us now.
24/05/2019, 16:37 - Me: Why?
24/05/2019, 16:40 - her: Because it would now be unbelievably awkward
24/05/2019, 16:40 - Me: Why?
24/05/2019, 16:41 - her: Originally I had hoped we could take him out together
24/05/2019, 16:41 - her: I thought that would be really nice.
24/05/2019, 16:41 - Me: Tell him we made up and you're thrilled. Any friend would be happy for you.
24/05/2019, 16:41 - her: To go from helping me collect my things because my ex is making it difficult for me to get them otherwise to "we are all fine, yayyyy"
24/05/2019, 16:42 - her: Is weird
24/05/2019, 16:42 - Me: Arguments happen
24/05/2019, 16:42 - her: Please do not dictate what I should do
24/05/2019, 16:42 - her: I think you're being very possessive right now
24/05/2019, 16:43 - Me: you have a chance to possibly make a guy you've chatted to but don't know feel a bit awkward, in order to reassure your boyfriend of 2 years who admits he finds this odd.

She went on to get quite abusive, call me insane etc.

... and all the while, she'd not even actually asked him to collect her things!

It was just to keep me from being there.

You need your head examining if you get back with her after this op.

So, she me the guy. To reassure me, as I was over a hundred miles away, she said I could call whenever I wanted. I called once, she asked how I was. I said "not great" which is true. She asked how the weekend was. I said "you ruined it" which was true. She then hung up.

I called back about 20 minutes later, she was muttering something about heading to Oxford Street. She then started talking to this guy about getting some water, and hung up again.

For the next 3 hours, she read no messages, took no calls and sent nothing to me.

When she finally did, they were "getting coffee" in a place where she suddenly had "bad signal" when she learned I had covered the 100s of miles and wasn't too far away... I then didn't hear from her until she was getting on a tube...

Apparently, these friends who've just met for the first time having chatted for 5 years, his first time in London I guess or he wouldn't need a guide - didn't take a single photograph between them over 5 hours.

I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions.

I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions

You won’t get a pity party here Op you’ve been given lots of good advice but you insist on putting yourself through this shit. Your both as bad as each other.

Seriously?? I had sympathy at first, but you are being a bit of a bunny boiler now. Either accept she’s showing someone around London and get over it, or decide she’s a cow and end it.

I'm sorry but this is all just ridiculous.

Of course she's shagged him and of course you'll take her back.
It's all really immature.

Either take people's advice or don't!

Cop on.

Where are your kids while you are playing weird stalkery telephone hangup games with your ex?

Your update has astounded me. You're still entertaining this circus.

No wonder she walks all over you and treats you like shit. Sorry OP you're pathetic and need to get some self respect. How you are acting is not attractive

To all the posters since the update, I knew exactly what she would do. I knew exactly what would follow.

When she finally got in touch, she offered to come see me to hug. I declined. She's offered tonight too but I declined that too.

I promise I've listened to every response.

You went to London even though you had broken up and are surprised she didn't want to speak to you. She's meeting up with a friend / whoever and you call her and tell her she ruined your weekend. I bet you come over really badly compared to the bloke she was showing around. This is so not the way to behave. I honestly think you need to stop all contact and move on. And maybe get some counselling about healthy relationships.

If you knew exactly why post here? You’ve come across as a right weirdo and she should run tbh

I travelled back because just because you know someone you love is a vile person, you still love them, and it sill hurts. I wanted some space so went home. I didn't go near where she was. I live in London. It's my home too.

Thanks for the help and advice, everyone.