boyfriend obsessed with texting dirty to other women

[Kyra1]

Ive been with my boyfriend for just over a year now, i have never felt insecure in any of my past relationships but i always felt anxious with him for some reason (i think because he is so chatty and such a likeable person). But i caught him taking my name out of his relationship status on facebook and so i started questioning a whole lot more.. turns out he had messaged a few women on instagram direct sexually.. i raised it with him and was absolutely broken and he begged and begged for me back.. i had never seen such a broken man before, he was on his knees pleading for me to forgive him. I forgave him. He was making all the right changes and i thought things were going well.. but 2 weeks later a lady on facebook messaged me saying my boyfriend was messaging her on tinder sexually talking about her playing with herself and him also. He asked for her snapchat and he sent pictures of his downstairs region.
I had lost the plot at this point.. i raised it with him and he denied all the way, then finally after i told him i had proof of it, he finally admitted it. Again hes crying begging for me back. Weve not been together for two months but ive started texting him again. My heart just cant leave him. My dilemma is should i take him back again? Its hard because when its written down like this, its a bit black and white like yes leave the dick. But I am so in love with this boy and he has done so so much for me, we have so much history. Also does this really count as cheating? Im taking it as if he has slept with another woman but he hasnt. Hes admitted to me that before me, hed never been in a proper relationship, and when he texts other women on tinder its literally for 10 minutes whilst he plays with himself basically and then theyre deleted. Hes not interested in any other relationship. He says its like people who are addicted to pornography, he's always done it and is trying so hard to break it. We only get to see eachother twice a week and i refuse to talk sexually or send him pictures or anything over the phone so i suppose hes looking elsewhere to satisfy himself. Im not making excuses as such or being naive, i just really love him and want him in my life, so is it worth taking him back? And if so, how can i stop being so anxious and insecure in the relationship? Thanks girls. :)

[Thisnamechanger]

Ewwwww he sounds like a creep with zero respect for you.

[pintoffginplz]

Come on now
Get some self respect and don't be a mug

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

I think you're bring so unfair on him, OP. He's begged for forgiveness and shown you how addicted he is. It's not his fault and you should stand by him and put aside your own insecurities and needs so that HE can have you as his girlfriend while sending photos of his cock to other women so that he can wank off. Any feelings of unworthiness or unease you feel is your problem which you should deal with if you really, truly loved him.

Is that what you want to hear???

[ThatCurlyGirl]

Would he be ok with you sending pictures of your tits to men you've met on tinder while being in a relationship with him?

If yes, he doesn't respect you and has incredibly low standards of a relationship.

If no, he's a massive hypocrite.

Either way get rid. It's fucking gross, come on OP you're worth more than this.

[DBML]

Ewww! He’s gross!

[DaisyD0Little]

Don't be silly now

[AllHopeAndNoResults]

I echo what everyone else is saying, and he isn’t just adding for 10 mins then deleting because he messaged one girl on one platform and then added her on another so it’s very unlikely he is deleting these girls after his ‘fix’.

Although I can’t call you an idiot or stupid because actually deep down you know it’s not a relationship you want to or should be in and I know how it feels to be blindly in love/lust with someone who is bad for you.

But do work on yourself and realise you can do better and don’t take him back it will only end in tears and once you’ve set the bar for him to do it once and get away with it he will keep on doing it.

[GroggyLegs]

Why do you think he's a catch OP?

Not only does he treat you like shite, he's also adding people off OLD sites for 10 minutes for a quick shuffle, then deleting them.

He literally uses real life women as wank fodder.

Do you really think happiness awaits with this prince?

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

Men who love you don't behave like this. Hell, men who only like you don't behave like this. Forget how in lurve you think you are. Don't you deserve to be with a man who actually likes you?

Ditch him.

[Bluntness100]

Can you ask him why he does it op?

Because one things for sure, and there have been many threads on it, and that's all women would like to know, why do strange men send them pics of their dicks?. No one likes it. No one understands it. No one wants it. The men know that. Just like your partner. He knows when he's sending a woman a pic of his dick then having a wank she doesn't want it.

So since you've got yourself a real live pervert there, an online flasher, can you ask him and post the response here?

I think we'd also like to know does it not bother him that women don't want him to send pics of his dick to them, or does that just add to the thrill of it? The fact he's forcing these women to look at his dick?

So, Maybe you can do women a favour by solving the mystery, by asking your cock flashing partner.

[dreichuplands]

Give your head a wobble and leave him. ASAP.

[SandyY2K]

Fool me once...shame on you. Fool me twice..... you knows how it goes.

His begging and kissing were an act and had you fooled.

Why be with a man who sends dic pics to other women?

It says a lot about your sense of self worth.

[girlwithadragontattoo]

LTB. If the roles were reversed he'd dump you in a flash

[losingmymindiam]

Everytime you think of all the good times you have had, replace those thoughts with the thought that two weeks after begging and pleading to have you back he was being a perv with other women. He is false and gross.

[ReanimatedSGB]

You two are not compatible: you are more monogamous than him, which is a combination that will make you both unhappy. 'DIck is abundant and low value' ie there are other men out there who will be more suitable for you.

[BlueJava]

YABU to take him back. You need to cut him off and keep it that way otherwise your entire life will be filled with these horrible worries about what he's doing. Clearly you want commitment and a loving, stable relationship. He doesn't - which is clear from his actions whatever he says. Sorry OP but you need to LTB.

[SpecterLitt]

A man that is sending unsolicited pictures of his penis to women online is one that has no respect for women. Is this the man you want to be with?

Whilst I feel for you that you do care for him - care for yourself more. If you were to go back, you are setting yourself up to be completely disrespected and destroyed. He will not stop and he has manipulated you with his tears twice already.

Value your self more, keep your dignity and find happiness in being alone right now. You may have history, he may have done some nice things but these actions of his do not equate to a man that is serious about his relationship and loyal. Yes, it is cheating. Why does he feel the need to see other women touching themselves, and why does he assume women want to see his penis?

You have walked away, stay away. Delete and block his number, this doesn't seem like a person that is even worth being civil with. Raise your standards, you deserve better than this.

[OhDearGodLookAtThisMess]

What sort of low-life sex-pest is this idiot? And are you very young? Sounds like it.

he was absolutely broken and he begged and begged for me back.. i had never seen such a broken man before, he was on his knees pleading for me to forgive him.
Not to mention a right drama queen. What an unedifying spectacle that must have been to witness.
Stop feeding the amateur dramatics and ditch him.

[Bluntness100]

Women who receive these dick pics really need to start contacting the police. It's the modern day version of flashing. Some men, like the ops partner are prolific. It's not they misread the signals. They are getting off on it. They find someone to chat to then they become very sexual send them a dick pic and wank off at the thought of it.

This is sickening. "when he texts other women on tinder its literally for 10 minutes whilst he plays with himself basically and then theyre deleted*. And the unsolicited dick shots even more so.

There has to be a law against that shit. If you can't do it in public why the fuck should these men get away with doing it on line, using snap chat as their means to expose themselves to women.

[daisyboocantoo]

🤦‍♀️

[DPotter]

So he's chatting on line to other women whilst wanking - well you've got a keeper there Kyra. A little mental exercise for you - could you sit and tell your gran that your boyfriend wanks whilst chatting to other women on line and tell her you're alright with that?
Your boyfriend has no respect for you and no respect for the women he is using as wank-fodder. Time to put yourself first, gain some self respect and ditch him. You gave him a chance - but he does respect or care for you enough. Now it's time to leave

[ThatCurlyGirl]

he was absolutely broken and he begged and begged for me back.. i had never seen such a broken man before, he was on his knees pleading for me to forgive him

They all do this my love. All of them. They're always broken when they get found out. It means nothing. I know that's not nice to hear but it really is absolutely textbook.

He's not broken, he's a manipulator. How could you ever trust him again? You couldn't - so you won't be able to feel secure.

You'll get increasingly anxious, he'll feel increasingly in control and round and round you go until he's got free reign to do whatever he wants knowing you won't leave.

Loads of us have been there and like I say they ALWAYS claim to be sorry, cry, threaten to hurt themselves etc.

Same script, different cast.

[DistanceCall]

But I am so in love with this boy

Wrong. You are in love with your idea of who this person is. It's not who this person is. Your actual BF is a sex pest. The man you love never existed.

I'm sorry, OP. You deserve so much better than this.

[Bluntness100]

*he was absolutely broken and he begged and begged for me back.. i had never seen such a broken man before, he was on his knees pleading for me to forgive him

And yet two weeks later a woman was telling you he'd been sending her unsolicited dick shots. And he'd already tried to pretend he was single by removing you from his relationship status.

Broken my arse.

[Mumsymumphy]

I think you may be dating my ex-husband!

It could have been me writing your post 7 years ago.

Dump him. Trust me. I stupidly married it and it didn't stop. They don't stop, the don't change. They NEED the attention from women. I'm willing to bet there maybe maternal issues in his background.

PLEASE save yourself a LOT of heartache by not giving him a second thought.