boyfriend obsessed with texting dirty to other women

[Kyra1]

Ive been with my boyfriend for just over a year now, i have never felt insecure in any of my past relationships but i always felt anxious with him for some reason (i think because he is so chatty and such a likeable person). But i caught him taking my name out of his relationship status on facebook and so i started questioning a whole lot more.. turns out he had messaged a few women on instagram direct sexually.. i raised it with him and was absolutely broken and he begged and begged for me back.. i had never seen such a broken man before, he was on his knees pleading for me to forgive him. I forgave him. He was making all the right changes and i thought things were going well.. but 2 weeks later a lady on facebook messaged me saying my boyfriend was messaging her on tinder sexually talking about her playing with herself and him also. He asked for her snapchat and he sent pictures of his downstairs region.
I had lost the plot at this point.. i raised it with him and he denied all the way, then finally after i told him i had proof of it, he finally admitted it. Again hes crying begging for me back. Weve not been together for two months but ive started texting him again. My heart just cant leave him. My dilemma is should i take him back again? Its hard because when its written down like this, its a bit black and white like yes leave the dick. But I am so in love with this boy and he has done so so much for me, we have so much history. Also does this really count as cheating? Im taking it as if he has slept with another woman but he hasnt. Hes admitted to me that before me, hed never been in a proper relationship, and when he texts other women on tinder its literally for 10 minutes whilst he plays with himself basically and then theyre deleted. Hes not interested in any other relationship. He says its like people who are addicted to pornography, he's always done it and is trying so hard to break it. We only get to see eachother twice a week and i refuse to talk sexually or send him pictures or anything over the phone so i suppose hes looking elsewhere to satisfy himself. Im not making excuses as such or being naive, i just really love him and want him in my life, so is it worth taking him back? And if so, how can i stop being so anxious and insecure in the relationship? Thanks girls. :)

[ScreamingLadySutch]

"but i always felt anxious with him for some reason " - because you are being abused.

The texting changes to doing it, when he finds a woman stupid enough to do it with him (remember the two qualities required to be an OW:

1. to be stupid
   
2. to be available
   

Loving people don't make other people anxious OP. SELFISH ABUSIVE MANIPULATIVE people make other people anxious.

Walk away. He is a woman hating knob and you are currently the one who receives his contempt (so he can feel superior). These men never change. This is WHO HE IS and it has nothing to do with you 'not being enough'. But you shouldn't accept it, that's on you. There are much nicer people out there.

[GCAcademic]

I don't understand why you would put up with this. You need to leave this relationship and so some serious work on your self-esteem and boundaries before you date anyone again. Otherwise you have a life of misery, humiliation and ever lower self-esteem ahead of you.

[sar302]

When you start to picture all the good times you've had, replace it with a picture of him wanking to the dirty texts he's been sending other women.

Because that's the actual reality of your relationship.

[MammaG1417]

This exact thing happened to my sister, he did this twice and she took him back. She was then sat at home breastfeeding their 6 month old and he was out shagging his colleague. LTB.

[ThatCurlyGirl]

Wait wait wait you've been together less than a year?! I missed that! He's showing you the BEST of himself this early on, fuck me you really need to split up OP - life is too short for this shit!

[adultcat]

OP, he clearly doesn't respect you..
How would he feel if you were doing the same to random men? Sending them pictures of your bits? He'd be ok with that?
If this was happening to your sister / best friend / daughter, what would you tell them?

[Mythreefavouritethings]

Saw the title, immediately wondered why the term ‘boyfriend’ was still used considering the next bit. Still unsure...

[HollySniffs]

He sounds vile.

By all means if you want to be treated like this carry on seeing the shady fucker. He's doing this at only a year in so very unlikely to change.

He's shown you who he is and no doubt can't believe his luck he's found someone to put up with it.

How can you still be attracted to him? Don't you find it a turnoff at least?

[Bluntness100]

Ah Jesus. The poor women on tinder having to deal with this fucking pervert sending them pics of his dick and dirty texts whilst he has a wank. Clearly it's not even solicited if one woman told you. He's just basically a pervert harassing them.

Seriously. That's the bloke for you? You want to hook yourself up with some perv who sexually harasses random women and masturbates as he does it?

[Moralitym1n1]

My dilemma is should i take him back again?

No

Also does this really count as cheating?

Yes.

We only get to see eachother twice a week and i refuse to talk sexually or send him pictures or anything over the phone so i suppose hes looking elsewhere to satisfy himself.

I've never been in a relationship when I saw someone more than twice a week,vexcept during the odd holiday together, until i got married. If my partner was horny during that time he could use his imagination or porn. If he tried to sexy etc women, I would have considered of cheating. Because it is.

Sone coupled spend weeks, if not months separate and expect fidelity.

He's not going to stop this. Don't be one of the women who come in here further down the line, with kids involved, devastated and stressed and having to become a single mum because they stayed and got further in with someone who was like this. He crys and begs cause he wants to have his cake and eat it, a steady gf - and whatever he can get on the side.

[Moralitym1n1]

• sext

[Moralitym1n1]

*Some couples

[CurtainsOpen]

Oh aye

[magoria]

This man is on dating websites looking for other women. He has probably already met loads. He won't get better when your relationship is no longer at the fresh fun stage.

This is why you are not shown as in a relationship with him.

Get an STI test. Never stop using condoms and go for regular checks.

Stay with him in the full knowledge that you will find this again and again.

Or leave and work on your self worth.

Your choice.

[Huskylover1]

Op, can you ever imagine a scenario, where you are cuddled up with him watching a film, and then he nips out of the room, and whilst he's out of sight, you quickly lift your skirt, take down your knickers, photograph your vagina, and then quickly send it to some random men on Tinder? Then he comes back in to the room, and you sweetly smile at him? If not, why not?

Also, I presume if you do get back together, he will be fully agreeable to you sending vagina and breast photo's to strange men? What's good for he goose, and all that Jazz.

[SilverySurfer]

Try raising your relationship bar a bit higher, like off the ground, by dumping this creep.

[Knackeredmommy]

Bloody hell! Stop making excuses for him and know that if you get back with him you'll never be able to trust him and his community dick again.
You CAN do better, you may love him but he certainly doesn't love you.

[AutumnCrow]

Start remembering all the shit times. That should help.

You're young. Find someone else.

[frenchonion]

Fuckity nope from me. Get your head straight. Every time you think longingly of a good time you had together, replace the thought with the image of him unzipping his flies and talking photos of his junk to send to another woman. That should cure the rose tint. What a shit. You can do better! You DESERVE better than this wank stain.

[littlecabbage]

Just dont picture life with anyone else

You will meet someone kind and decent once you have left this wanker behind, and learnt some self-respect (I mean this kindly).

But even if you didn't, being single for the rest of your life would be a less unhappy life than a life with this man.

[Dieu]

With all respect, please don't be a total doormat, and ditch this guy. He is making a mug of you.

[QueenOfTheCroneAge]

community dick

[NeatFreakMama]

It's your relationship so you know your own boundaries. I'd have legged it by now, he has no respect for you.

[PompeyBez]

Of course its cheating!! He says he is sorry and begs for you back, but actions speak 100 time louder than words, and his actions involve sending picture of his willy to women on dating sites that he shouldn't even be on if he is in a relationship with you. You feel insecure because you know he can't be trusted. Put him in the bin where he belongs.

[BollocksToBrexit]

He's not sorry about what he did, he's sorry he got caught. He will do it again, it's a question of when not if. Are you prepared to live like that? Waiting for the inevitable next time, and the next, and the next?