Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Online dating . Is this a red flag ?

130 replies

Datingoverforty · 18/05/2019 18:07

I’m nearly fifty with two DCS still at home and after divorcing 7 years ago I’ve had one really awful relationship and then stayed on my home for a couple of years . Decided to dip my toe into OLD and hopped onto Tinder . After the initial “ obviously just after a shag “ guys . I was superliked by someone about an hour from me . He started chatting straight away and chats were friendly and we seemed to have a lot in common although from his pics I wasn’t immediately attracted him but for me this is something that builds from getting to know someone . He’s never asked me anything about himself and largely talks about his likes and dislikes . Sending me multiple pictures of things like his record collection . Books etc . After chatting a couple of days he asked if he could call me . I said I’d call him at s certain time and took his number . Literally on the nail if that time he sent two messages asking if I was still going to call . It felt like he was literally sat with his phone in his hand . I called and we chatted and it was all pleasant although I deduced that he seems to have a fairly quiet life and goes to bed at 8.30 every night and doesn’t seem to have much if a friendship circle . I’m very busy and have a lot going on in my life . He asked if we could meet and I agreed to a daytime coffee date .
From this point he’s been behaving almost as though we are an item already . He’s literally blowing up my phone with tinder messages . I’m getting Good morning messages and even though he’s at work he’s messaging all day then again the second he gets home and then literally all evening . I’ve got to the point if second quick replies or explaining I’m too busy to chat right now . He keeps pushing for more phone calls but. Wants phoning when I’m busy with my dcs as he goes to bed so early so I’ve said it’s not convenient. He’s started referring to himself as my new man despite me having done nothing to infer I even fancy him 🙄 and keeps saying he’ll have to sit on his hands when we meet as I’m so stunning he’ll find it hard “ not to snog me” yuck .. youIve made it clear that for me an initial meet is to establish any chemistry etc but hes progressed to sending me love songs he’s singing and telling me constantly how gorgeous I am . Last night I visited a friend and told him that I wouldn’t be home until later and he messaged saying why not pop over for a coffee next time I was there . I pointed out that my friends was fifty minutes from him and he replied that he’d like to think that if I cane over for coffee he’d hope to entice me to something more .. He claims he’s been completely alone for 8 years and I’m really feeling uneasy as I don’t know if he’s just coming across as desperate or a bit creepy ?!

OP posts:
fghkhfdryjkv · 20/05/2019 11:50

Also I'm sorry this happened. Very scary.

ChristmasFluff · 20/05/2019 14:52

OP, your friends really give you rubbish advice. You owed him NOTHING - you had never met him. Any type of 'explanation' message is wasted on these types, and opens you up to further abuse (as happened).

Your instincts are so much better than theirs. Please don't listen to their advice in future when your own gut is screaming.

Datingoverforty · 20/05/2019 14:59

Thanks everyone . His reaction made me realise that he was a weirdo . Thankfully I haven’t heard from him since and he doesn’t know where I live

OP posts:
PhannyPharts · 20/05/2019 15:00

Agree totally with Christmas Fluff. Your friend's advice was terrible - you blocked him and already said you didn't wish to chat further. That was clear enough. You didn't owe him an explanation at all, you hadn't even met him.

ilikemethewayiam · 20/05/2019 16:31

Jeez, psycho on a stick! Well done for spotting this early. He’s text book abusive!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread