Dating thread 159 - Should I Stay or Should I Go Now

[DaffoDeffo]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@lifegoes point taken, just saying what happens with the dating algorithms that is all, sometimes its better to start again, there are lots of reasons why it is true. Too much right swiping for another, they like picky people

I’m not wearing any make up in any of my profile pics. I get a lot of guys comment about liking the natural look.

I’m having a bit of a wobble tonight, was feeling good about everything and now my anxiety and over thinking is in full swing. Mr Dog told me he finishes work at 6pm and that he’s free most evenings, he knows I’m not often free in the evenings unless given plenty of notice. Last night he suggested coming here one night this week but a night hasn’t been arranged and I’m working thur and fri evening (so would have to be tomorrow). Anyway last night he seemed to have vanished and didn’t respond to my message until this morning, tonight is looking the same. I know I’m over thinking things and he’s probably busy, I just hate the early dating stage where you don’t know enough about them to trust them.

@vwman it's a valid point about restarting. Something I have done on bumble many times. But as I've said, I've just set them back up 2 days ago.

What's not valid is telling someone that you DONT KNOW AT ALL. That my photos aren't good enough

On a different note Mr Horse is keeping me entertained whilst I continue to swipe through. Although he does look smaller than he said.

So Mr horse may become Mr my little pony.

@lifegoes just as long as he doesn't turn into an ass

Thumbs up for not too much make up.
Without wanting to sound too crude, it's nice to have an idea what somebody will look like first thing in the morning with no make up and bed hair 🤣

I am so unphotogenic I plastered myself in makeup for my photos. I've said this before but my skin and face shape look odd in photos and I have a terrible smile. All of my dates have been surprised. I also look overweight in them too.

Wondering if I'm being lovebombed by mr runner. 50 messages so far today and he wants to call again. He is very funny and a good kisser so I guess I'll see how things go and try not to get too attached.

My pics are all natural as I hate wearing make up and seem to get lots of interest.

So went for a 2pm date this afternoon with Mr Medic and he was really nice but painfully shy and I'm quite confident. Anyway we have loads in common and had a good ole chat about all sorts. Before we knew it, it was 5:20 and I had to go and pick DD up from nursery. No snog in pub car park but I think he wanted to and I wanted him to to be honest.

So tonight on OLD I've had a few conversations.

One is "ready to mingle like a flamingo with shingles"
Two wants to know "me beef with tinder"
Third "went to the university of life"
Fourth is the best and 180 km away 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

@lifegoes 😁😁😁

How old is number 2 life? My son uses the term "beef" but he's only 12 and it's to describe playground disagreements 🤣

Hahaha I swiftly unmatched @Ant330 as I had concerns about his beef. but I'm sure it said 37 as I don't go lower than 35.

I don't have makeup on in my pics. You know I would but I am still traumatised by my older cousins making me up into a mini Gary Numan as a kid when they babysat me.

Today 19:24 Sunshineandflipflops

If I have to “make myself up” to attract men then I don’t want to attract those men. Do men make themselves up to take pictures for OLD profiles? Thought not...

🤣

Wish they'd blooming well SMILE though. All we'd need on most of them is them holding a number underneath them... The "best" one I saw yesterday was of a bloke giving blood. 😶

Please remind me that it's a numbers game, one that you can win!

I've never actually had a serious relationship from the apps but am now being serious about what I'm after, no catfish photos, still feels like for every occasional nice swipe I'm encountering plenty of dross... give me strength

Definitely a numbers game Asleep. I had so many conversations that fizzled out, ghosters, got stood up twice. Then one relationship (over a year). Then met Mr BC on Fab Swingers when I was 'resting' myself from Tinder and the other apps. Yiu just need one person ....

My profile had one pic of me totally make up free and in my PJs. Others had the make up I wear every day for work (so not loads - mascara, blusher and lipgloss). I'm 55 - the lily needs a bit of guilding 😂😂

Hello peeps, need a second opinion here. Had a look on the apps again, and someone nice came up who wrote drinking frequently. Now my ex was an alcoholic so these kinds of things fill me with dread a bit. Am I being crazy then to write him off because of this? To me, drinking a lot equates to abuse, fear in the home, anxiety, threats etc. But obviously I don't say all that! Am I sounding really unreasonable?

@AsleepAllDay definitely a numbers game, I've been on these threads ages and loads of people have had date after date, or rubbish conversations but also successes! Stay positive and keep going x

I am possibly being a bit judgemental, but if anyone puts down more than "social" in a dating profile I would assume this is a tacit admission that they drink waaay too much.

In the same way that most people don't admit to their GP how much they actually drink.

So yeah I would take it as a bit of a red flag. Interested in others opinions too though.

eesha have to say I agree with starry re the drinking

@Eesha it doesn't always equate to abuse with all men only some, and not all heavy drinkers are alchoholics. I would suggest you look at it from a social point of view. If you enjoy going down the pub every night and chatting to others who enjoy going to the pub everynight and want that lifestyle then ok (ignoring the health issues). On the surface he likes socialising down the pub with friends, but if you don't want that then just look elsewhere.

@StarryUnicorn that's exactly where I was coming from in my thought process, socially seems fine but frequently seems slightly concerning.

@vwman thanks for that perspective, definitely I'm not a regular pub goes due to my kids. I like the social aspect but my as has just driven home the fear in me.

I'll see how things go, it's in my profile that I'm not a big drinker, and I have flagged that to him so will see if any red flags appear. Shame as appeared nice and chatty, however that route really isn't one i want to go back down at all.

@Eesha I can understand that, men react differently to drink I am more of a sentimental drunk, I am more likely to spend all night telling everyone how much they love them

eesha I'd ask him what frequent means. It might mean he goes to the pub every night but just has a pint. Or it might mean excessive drinking. As it's an issue for you I'd definitely ask. My ex H was (is?) an alcoholic so I understand. For me I want to see how someone behaves when drunk and that they don't need to drink every day. But I also like a good drunken night in, and to share a bottle on the sofa.