Dating thread 159 - Should I Stay or Should I Go Now

[DaffoDeffo]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

FFS. I downloaded the apps again today, as a distraction more than anything and guess whose face just appeared on Bumble

@sunshineand flipflops and @lifegoes I actually don't find condoms wonderful to use but I will be using them at the start of every relationship from now on as some things like chlamydia often don't have symptoms. It would have caused difficulties with the guy I had a 3 month relationship with though (Mr Tiler) as he had problems getting and maintaining an erection. Hopefully the new man will be cool with using them and not have any difficulties in the bedroom department.

Ugh sunshine that is horrible. But one swipe and he is gone.

All these complications kind of make me regret having a FWB given that what I’m looking for is a proper relationship. Whatever happens with Mr Desperate, perhaps it’s Mr Greedy who is the problem? Which makes me sad, because I think we are good for each other. And having guaranteed sex and closeness at least once a week is just fantastic.

Gah!

I think MrSAS would have been happy with a FWB set up...in fact I think that's how he saw us but I like him too much to settle for that and I am ultimately looking for a relationship of some sort.

Just catching up.
sunshine sorry about Mr SAS, what a dick he is. If someone really likes you then I don’t see why they would feel the need to continue messaging other women.

I have hidden my profile on POF (not deleted it), I still have 2 irons that I chat too but I guess I should get rid of them. I. Pretty sure Mr Dog isn’t texting anyone else and he hasn’t ever showed up as being ‘online’ on POF since we had our first date so I have no worries about him speaking or seeing anyone else. He’s already called me twice today to make plans for our next 2 dates and to ask me to commission a piece of work for him. I’m not used to having someone showing this much interest and it not just being about sex so it all feels a little odd.

Sunshine Mr SAS sounds so much like Mr SA who I was seeing a while ago, it was a real shock for me as I really liked him and there was so much chemistry (the sex was amazing and I thought he really liked me), he did a good job of making me feel special and amazing but it obviously didn’t mean anything to him as he only wanted a FWB on his terms and was probably sleeping with other people. I think some men are great at making us believe they have true feelings for us just to get a good shag .

To anyone who needs to hear this (like me)

I don't agree. Someone could be actively on the apps and looking and dating but not yet slept with someone. Not everyone sleeps with people quickly.

This is me.

I know its a bit cheeky to still long of once or twice a week or look at any new messages and reply while you have been dating someone for 2 or 3 months. Or even more.
The reason I go the apps whilst I am dating someone is cos they do not give me a reason not too.
Its all very cagey and mysterious for a few months often.
Also I think even if I slept with a guy after 6 weeks, it could still mean nothing.
Never assume a man likes you more just cos you sleep with him.

Excuse the errors am at work.

IMO every normal decent man should be fine with using condoms.
If not they are just a creep.

@LilyRose88 "I now have a bag full of condoms and sachets of lube" I hope you have a range for your gentleman to chose the most appropriate one for him. It is not one size fits all.

Coming out of what was the best part of a 20 year relationship I am not used to the use of condoms at all. Maybe too much information but I went on to the internet to learn how to measure myself for the right fit, and it actually made a huge difference choosing and buying the right product for me. Makes me wonder whether some guys don't get on with them because they are buying the wrong product.

I'm ok thanks Sunshine bit confused and don't really have a definitive update other than we are still together 🤣

Had a good time last night, we went on a very fun date and had a good laugh. Bit awkward at first as I think we both knew it had been a wierd week with much less chat than usual.

She thought I was going to end it last night so me explaining that I had some doubts about the long term but still really enjoy spending time with her (which I do) seemed a bit of a relief to her.

I'm half expecting her to dump me once she's had time to think it through but she's been messaging as normal today.

Just got back on OKC after a while and it's already getting me down. Have plenty of likes and 'hey gorgeous' messages but not getting too many matches with men whose photos and profiles I like.

Is it wrong to feel this way? Ideally I would like to fancy someone and appreciate their personality, not one or the other.

And not looking for a 'perfect' man - have swiped on plenty with different hobbies, interests and careers

Have never been a long term user of the site (used apps more often), but am looking for something more mature and long term. Thoughts?

I have met a few guys who struggle with condoms, the faffing around with putting them on and then they lose their erection, it can be a bit annoying. I’m not a huge fan of them but unless I’m in a long term relationship (and we both know each other’s sti free) then it’s something that has to be used, I tend to let the man supply them as they will know which ones fit them best. I do keep a stair packet just incase.

I need to splurge my feelins out. so, at the weekend there was a communication breakdown and I knew an ending was in the post. He cancelled a date last min. I tried to call. He didn’t answer. He texted a couple hours later saying….sorry he missed call was I free next day. I had a friend round and the next morning texted to say I couldn’t do that night, hope he had a good time….he didn’t text back all day yest or today after that
I’d like there to be an ending or something
So, I texted today ‘I think we need to chat…right? I have DD the next 2 weeks so can chat on the phone today at about 4:30, lemme know’ He’s read it and not replied. I’m now thinking I’ll get total silence. Which is brutal……I mean I know it has to end and I know he’s an avoidant character but….that would be …ugh I hate silence

@Ant330 are you waiting for her to dump you so that you don’t have to make the decision?

@Lovemusic33 it is a bit of a passion killer, I found the best way is to prepare everything beforehand and then invite my lady to put it on for me at the most appropriate time.

Oh I wouldn't put it on a man. I tried that once and put my nail through it. Total passion killer as we couldn't stop laughing

My nail through the condom. Not his cock FYI

@lifegoes Hahahahahahahaha!

@lifegoes

I was a bit worried there!!!

At least they didn’t suggest the inbetweeners method “put it on with your bum or mouth” 😂

I’ve never used one for sex, but then I only have sex in a longterm relationship/with someone I trust a lot (FWB is an ex), and no matter how much we try neither of us ever gets pregnant 🤷🏽‍♂️

@Sunshineandflipflops thought I better clarify 😂😂😂😂

A nail through the cock... nobody would be laughing then!

@SimonJT 😂😂😂

Knowing my luck if I tried with my mouth I'd inhale it and die.

@lifegoes

I wonder how they would record that on someones death cerificate...