Dating thread 159 - Should I Stay or Should I Go Now

[DaffoDeffo]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Hmmm having gone on about how great it is having a relationship that can't go anywhere I've now really got the hump with mr Unsuitable. He made a joke about my age and how we look together in public. People looking at us etc. He says it was just a joke but it's really hit a nerve. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing having a relationship with a man 15 years younger. It can't go anywhere. I feel like a sad old fool.....

Despite the HRT. Hope it cheers you up @TooOldForThis67. It definitely gave me my mojo back.

I'd love to be a lesbian. Or even bi. I'm definitely female centric. Sadly I like -ahem- a certain male appendage far too much to go without. 😳

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking I’m similar, I wouldn’t have sex with someone I didn’t know very well either (also wouldn’t unless we had been together quite a while), while it isn’t a hugely common view, it isn’t particularly unusual so try not to let it worry you too much. I have an FWB who I do have sex with, but that’s only because he is an ex and a friend. I have seen someone a few times and had a bit of ‘fun’ but I certainly won’t be having sex with him.

Is it just a fear of sex with someone due to confidence etc, or is it anything sexual?

If you’re open to other things there is quite a bit you can get upto while still partially clothed, you don’t have to get naked to enjoy yourself.

I wouldn’t be too focused on someone else being more experienced, everyone started out with no sexual experience, it may be a problem with you and impacting on your confidence, but I doubt it would matter to a date.

peanut that was a bit insensitive of him but it’s just one remark. I’m sure you make s lovely couple. My godson is with a woman 16 years older and the only thing that strikes me when I look at them is how in love they are 💕

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking I can only speak about my experience with my only FWB. It was not via fab but another website. After a bit of a chat online we met in a Tesco cafe and felt really comfortable straight away together. I guess if you don't feel comfortable you do not take it further. After about 30 minutes she leant over to me and whispered "I really miss sex" I replied "so do I" and we knew it was going to happen. It's been a while for me, so I am thinking of looking for another FWB as I have lost a little enthusiasm for dating at the moment.

I went to my first ever Salsa/Latin dance class tonight, men are very much in demand as it is almost exclusively female in the class. I was quite nervous as I was totally outside my comfort zone, can't dance at all, but enjoyed it and will go back. Sometimes you just need to face your fears head on to get over them.

Well I've been 'dumped' by text. Think I might go back to FWB's only!

30somethingandsingle, he was a bit of a coward not telling you face to face, I think you deserved that after 2 months. But he made up your mind for you.

Oh @30somethingandsingle. Shit. Hope you're ok. What was his reason? We know your reason...

Bloody hell @30somethingandsingle that's real bollocks...hope you're ok

Thanks for everyone's replies. I'll have a think and answer your questions.

But right now 30something needs the support of the thread.
What a horrible things to do. Hope you're ok.

His message was along the lines of 'I have been thinking and I think we both want different things out of a relationship, if that's the case maybe it's better to call it a day'

Bit of a cop out really. We've previously discussed what we are both looking for.

Onwards and upwards I guess.

@30somethingandsingle What a coward, but that was his communication style right to the end and I shouldn't think it's come as much of a surprise to you. Well done for forcing the issue now though, otherwise he could have done it months down the line. You absolutely deserve someone who will give you what you need in a relationship - well done for standing firm and saying "this isn't enough for me"

vwman said it 30 that is a cowardly way to end it for the amount of time you've been together. But, clearly he knew he couldn't give you what you wanted so ended it before you did. Onwards and upwards ;)
You know now that you want a relationship and you know what you expect from that, so at least you're (hopefully) in a better place to start again.
Shit way to do it though, and should tell you he wasn't right.

It really is not nice to end things over text etc, even a casual thing should be finalised face to face, nevermind something that suggests there might be a future.

Looks like you dodged a bullet.

30 hugs to you 💐

Sorry to hear your update 30 I know it doesn't make it any easier but you were having your doubts,laid your cards on the table and that was his response.As pp said best to get it done with now than a few months down the line when you're even more invested.I'm nearly at 3 months and really don't know wtf I'm doing but don't want to hurt bf's feelings which I know I will if I end things.Weird being on this side of the coin for once.

Sorry to hear that 30 - it did sound like you were heading that way yourself :(. One thing I have learned is things rarely get ended cleanly and nicely in OLD. But I do think it's cowardly not to do it face to face or at least on the phone.

I think it says a lot more about him that he chose to do it like this. It does sound like you've worked out a bit more what you're looking for which is also good. Hope you have some wine and chocolate on hand tonight

Oh @30somethingandsingle what an utter coward he is. Like others have said, just proves what type of man he is doing it via text. I think deep down you knew it wasn't right for you but lived in hope he might change a bit.

You are too good for him, and I promise someone will come along and you'll tell us and we'll laugh about the time a coward ended it via text 😘

Sorry to hear that news 30 but as others have said, at least you know what you want now and you have that confidence in you to make sure you get what you want.

What does fab, dtd and Fwb stand for?!

Fab is another dating site, doing the deed, friend with benefits

DTD is intercourse
FWB is a friend with benefits
FAB is an online dating platform, I’m not sure which one though

Lillyrose19 What does fab, dtd and Fwb stand for?!

Fab is the website fab swingers a hook up website

Thank you everyone. I haven't replied to his message, he's sent a few more back tracking a little (he's out with friends tonight so assume he's drunk) but I'm not going to reply.
Several glasses of for me tonight