MY partner is so tight with money is this normal

[Reynolds1212]

I’ve been with my parter for six years I have three children from a previous relationship. My kids don’t see their father anymore he moved away and that was it he stopped contact which upset them greatly.
Anyway my partner earns in a day what I get in Three/four days so I’m not talking a small amount here .
My house is rented I pay all the bills all the rent and food he gives me £70 a week. I have a decent job but not amazing. I’ve added up my bills and rent and food and it’s a lot I have roughly £150-200 left per month for like treats for the kids clothes etc it is a struggle sometimes esp when a unexpected bill hits me etc my boys dad pays nothing. My partner is giving me £70 per week he earns about £3000-4000 a month he’s saving he keeps saying for us for a mortgage it’s hard to trust tbh. But this week I’ve been extra short I’ve had to borrow money off my mom to get food because we had a holiday to pay off which. Was half each and my car had to have lots of repairs done I’ve told him all week I have no money he just says well what happened to my £70 lol it doesn’t got very far with all k to outgoings the house is in my name so he thinks he doesn’t have to pay half but I rented the house before we met anyway and he moved in . He got two kids he has to pay CSA for but it isn’t that much £60 a week. I’m so sick of watching him buy stuff online and get new things and I haven’t got a pot to Pee in till the end of the month. If I bring up money it all kicks off he says not his kids and that I would have to pay it all if he wasn’t here. That’s not the point if they weren’t here he would have to pay half surely ?
He doesn’t buy food or give me extra hardly ever I have to beg for an extra £10 sometimes to get stuff he thinks £70 covers the food council tax water etc and it doesn’t
He’s got a lovely car and a nice van and my cars a bit of a banger now but it’s all I can afford it doesn’t seem fair after six years.
He doesn’t buy me things on Xmas and birthday I get stuff but never in between like he wouldn’t buy me clothes or the boys clothes at all.
He’s got other nice qualities but I feel like I pay for everything and he’s living for free and has no qualms about it I’ve bought it up so many times and it causes a row till he knows I won’t bring it back up again. His kids come to stay and he pays the same I have to text him and say get them food etc because it got to a point where I was feeding them to on £70 so I make him buy their food now. Everything is half holidays days out meals he never pays and he’s got the money to pay.
It’s getting to the point where I’ve had enough I don’t want this future now I’m in my early 30’s we don’t go out much if we do granted he does pay for my food but I always end up paying the drinks or something it’s never all for free.
I asked him for a lift to the hospital the other week and he asked me for a tenner for fuel I was just gobsmacked my son was in Hosptial and he asked me for money.
I don’t know what to do is anyone else partner like this please advise

@pusspuss9 it's not a case of the "real bad guy".

The two things are unrelated.

£10 a day is a fucking joke regardless of wether the OP was getting £££ from the dad.

Ted - that's true, There are two separate issues here.

I agree with everything said about OP's oh but that doesn't change the fact that there is another massive elephant in the room here - her ex who's buggered off having ditched all his responsibilities, and who is expecting others to pick up the slack. Just to be clear, I also think OP's OH needs to pay his way and also agree with OP that OH's children and her children should all be treated alike while they are together.

@pusspuss9 fair enough.

OP I'm out for the evening but I'll be checking in.

The reason you've had so many responses is because we are all outraged on your behalf.

You have sons.. this will be a great lesson that women don't have to take this shit, and relationships don't work like that.

You're doing great

Well done op. You've been so strong. It's good it all came out. He needed to be told what vermin he is.

Well done OP - we are with you on this, its the first solidarity of "leave the bastard" Iv ever seen on mumsnet.
I can't believe he was going to take his kids out for dinner and leave u and your kids behind, cheeky bastard

I'm hoping his stuff is outside the door and you're safe inside OP 💐 stay strong💪

OP well done! It's been a hard lesson for you but life can only improve for you & your kids. Any man who begrudges paying for his own kids shouldn't be let anywhere near you & yours. It tells you everything you need to know about them. He's shown you who he really is - please listen. Onwards

Oh and for what it's worth...

My very first LTB.

Hope you're ok OP. Don't let him back in. If he kicks off at all just call the police straight away

Puss I agree with you but that's not what my thread was about so I feel your comment was out of context on this post I can do a whole other thread on my children's dad at a later date.
I'm talking about myself right now In this moment. I've been on the phone to my brother who's given me a good talking to after I started questing the whole meal thing and asking if I was in the right and he's told me what I need right now .
He's sent me 16 messages about how I think I can do better and do I think I can etc cos I won't yeah ok i haven't responded.
Going back to the packing now he's not back and I've got a feeling he might not come back tonight I hope not.

I reckon he's going out of his mind right now in the pub he really thinks he's done no wrong going by his messages.
Saying I'm not the bastard you make me out to be oh but you really are though I'm running purely on my nerves now I can't eat my body has the shakes and I'm nervous I'm not going to lie but this is something I have to do and you guys really gave me so much courage today

@Reynolds1212 I think he proved exactly what a horrible bastard he is when he left YOU and your beautiful DC out AGAIN! The ass hole 😁💐

Point him in the direction of this thread if he needs some 'reassuring' on what a c*nt he is xx

Please just get his shit OUT of your house NOW. Block this waster. Just block him. He will NEVER think what he does is wrong because he's an entitled cock who cheats his own child. The only thing that concerns him is that his free ride is over.

God I’m rooting for you!! He’s proved again that he just thinks about him and his kids, never you and your kids. Good luck living on £70 anywhere else, wake up time for him. Stay strong!

Bravo OP 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

You've just set yourself new standards. There are about 300 Mumsnetters here proud as fuck.

Keep the anger for now, let it get you through tonight. And seriously, well done xxx

GOOD FOR YOU, OP!!!!!!

Block him.

The shaking is adrenaline.

Oh how unfair Reynolds1212 to go out without you and your children. You have done really well to expect him to leave. Did I read that right that he told his ex he was paying towards your children??? Unbelievable!

You have done really well to tell him to take his exploitative self elsewhere. I do really want to call him a CL but am trying to be polite.

Do you think you can do better? That made me laugh! The deluded, arrogant prick! He certainly CAN'T do better...not for 70 quid a week

Well done. He sounds like a vile piece of shit. Yes it’s an adjustment but you’ll be far better off without him.

Well done, it is just one insult to you and your boys after another with that man. Imagine if your sons grew up with him as a role model!! He earns so much he could have been treating you and your boys every Friday evening not taking his own children out and leaving you at home, it is frankly beyond belief!!
Maybe print off this whole thread and show it to him, he deserves to know what people think of him.

My ex was using me to pay his bills. He had money in a Swiss bank account, hiding them to avoid paying maintenance to his ex wife
That says it all about what kind of man he was, not paying to support his own children
He definitely did not respect me nor love me
Well done for doing the hard but right thing

Well done op!! One lesson I learned that hard way is that a cocklodger can be richer than you. It took me far too long to wake up to that fact. I suspect it happens quite often.
I noticed something in one of OP's posts about the way he handed the money to her. My stbxh (the second cocklodger in my life) used to chuck the insufficient amount he gave me for his half of the bills at me and snap "here's your rent money" in a disgusted tone. Anyone who behaves like this needs to be binned immediately.

The funny thing is, you are already doing better (financially) with him gone. So yeah I would tell him that I can definitely do better.