MY partner is so tight with money is this normal

[Reynolds1212]

I’ve been with my parter for six years I have three children from a previous relationship. My kids don’t see their father anymore he moved away and that was it he stopped contact which upset them greatly.
Anyway my partner earns in a day what I get in Three/four days so I’m not talking a small amount here .
My house is rented I pay all the bills all the rent and food he gives me £70 a week. I have a decent job but not amazing. I’ve added up my bills and rent and food and it’s a lot I have roughly £150-200 left per month for like treats for the kids clothes etc it is a struggle sometimes esp when a unexpected bill hits me etc my boys dad pays nothing. My partner is giving me £70 per week he earns about £3000-4000 a month he’s saving he keeps saying for us for a mortgage it’s hard to trust tbh. But this week I’ve been extra short I’ve had to borrow money off my mom to get food because we had a holiday to pay off which. Was half each and my car had to have lots of repairs done I’ve told him all week I have no money he just says well what happened to my £70 lol it doesn’t got very far with all k to outgoings the house is in my name so he thinks he doesn’t have to pay half but I rented the house before we met anyway and he moved in . He got two kids he has to pay CSA for but it isn’t that much £60 a week. I’m so sick of watching him buy stuff online and get new things and I haven’t got a pot to Pee in till the end of the month. If I bring up money it all kicks off he says not his kids and that I would have to pay it all if he wasn’t here. That’s not the point if they weren’t here he would have to pay half surely ?
He doesn’t buy food or give me extra hardly ever I have to beg for an extra £10 sometimes to get stuff he thinks £70 covers the food council tax water etc and it doesn’t
He’s got a lovely car and a nice van and my cars a bit of a banger now but it’s all I can afford it doesn’t seem fair after six years.
He doesn’t buy me things on Xmas and birthday I get stuff but never in between like he wouldn’t buy me clothes or the boys clothes at all.
He’s got other nice qualities but I feel like I pay for everything and he’s living for free and has no qualms about it I’ve bought it up so many times and it causes a row till he knows I won’t bring it back up again. His kids come to stay and he pays the same I have to text him and say get them food etc because it got to a point where I was feeding them to on £70 so I make him buy their food now. Everything is half holidays days out meals he never pays and he’s got the money to pay.
It’s getting to the point where I’ve had enough I don’t want this future now I’m in my early 30’s we don’t go out much if we do granted he does pay for my food but I always end up paying the drinks or something it’s never all for free.
I asked him for a lift to the hospital the other week and he asked me for a tenner for fuel I was just gobsmacked my son was in Hosptial and he asked me for money.
I don’t know what to do is anyone else partner like this please advise

Chances are he won’t want to go on holiday. Go without him.

Yes, be prepared for him to come up with all sorts of reasons why actually making him move to his dad's would be mean, shows you never loved him, you don't see him as proper family (oh the irony!)

I know you're the lead booker but has he actually paid properly for his and his kids' share of the holiday?

Oh yeah he says We're a family when it suits him to say if I won the lottery I can imagine we spoke he a family then

You're going to have to chuck him out because he won't want to get his feet out from under your table.

I was going to ask the same as magoria - as you are lead passenger, do you get on well enough with his ex wife to switch his ticket to her? If he kicks off about cost, you could remind him that it's his children who are going, it's his ex whom he's been underpaying in child benefit and for him to consider it as back-payment for 6 years council tax and £400 a month in back rent.

Put the money situation aside, look at his attitude towards your children, they deserve more than that

I think your right lord it's the whole picture of the situation. His ex is married and has more children with her husband we say hello I'm not on conversations terms with her really I've always kept out of their situation.
I know her husband does a lot for his kids as they have told me I know they don't go without in their home life go abroad a lot etc . I don't agree with what he pays I've already said he should be paying more towards them but he just says the ex and husband have good jobs so don't need the money. I think she would be livid if she knew what he earned she even brought up my kids during a row and said he's paying for them he told me and she Couldn't be further from the truth there. I even said during a row you treated her like crap and your doing the same to me he just laughed I think I was close to the truth.
I've got to think of my own kids and myself really. I've been with him a long time and I know I will be lonely but does he really care about me ? Maybe a little in his own way but in twenty years I don't think I will of progressed in my life and will be in the same situation I am in now very sad thought.

I just don't think I can be with someone this tight forever. He's never even bought one thing for the house he lives in he bought some glasses once and a few garden things but he's never actually gone out and bought a sofa or a bed or anything like that which is pathetic thinking about it it's laughable.

His arguments about it being cheaper elsewhere and you'd have to pay the bills anyway.....

Two people living together means that it should benefit BOTH of you. You share the load in a fair and amicable way.

It does NOT mean that only one benefits, and gets to contribute as if they were still a student living at home, to the detriment of the other.

What grown man thinks they can live for £10 a day!!

Kick him out OP, the relief will be HUGE. Do it TODAY

Oh well let his ex know what he earns, let her apply for a variation if she wants.

You are worth so much more

Yes it's £10 a day what I'm spending he's actually costing me more then what he's giving me as he has daily showers washing etc have to factor all of that into it. I am a muppet

I think she would be livid if she knew what he earned

Any chance of getting a photo or a copy or even an original of a payslip or bank statement to send to ex

You're not a muppet any more

I'm glad your getting angry op, you need to. You need to get angry. Take him up on his offer for him to move back to his dad's. If you still want to go for holiday fair enough, tell him it's over after holiday. It's sad tho that your holiday may well be similar to the last holiday where your kids get less treats. Anyway you can all go but keep seperate?

Have you thought about finances one he leaves? Can you claim universal credits?

So when he thinks he can't milk you any more, he'll milk his dad instead? All the while letting his ex and another man pick up the bulk of the tab for his kids? Has he no pride? Clearly not, parasite that he is.

I bet you'll never see a penny of his savings materialise into bricks and mortar for you all. If he's been saving a deposit for somewhere for all of you, then why would he need to move in with this dad? Couldn't he easily pay for somewhere for him and his kids, taking you and yours out of the equation?

Ironic he thinks his Ex wife husband should fund his DC but the same doesn't apply to him funding yours!!!

Complete utter miserly selfish git.

Blooming hell. Both my DC pay £220 each to live at home. This still allows them to save and have a great life. I'm saving £50 of it though.

My DP rents his house out, and all the profit we put aside for holidays and some to help me out. My DP says we both need to benefit from our arrangement. Move on. I bet you'll easily make the measly amount up by 25% off your council tax for being a single person and tax credits. COCKLODGER!!

@RandomMess My thoughts exactly. What a parasite.

I'd dob him in to his ex.

It's all hit the fan the whole shit

This reminds me of my SIL

Her "partner" is no support whatsoever
Throws her a few quid
Sees her struggling
Got a £20K claim payout of which she saw not a penny. No idea where it went
She has to take in students to make ends meet
And like the OPs cocklodger, has bought absolutely nothing for the house in 10 years
He could literally walk out the door with the contents of a suitcase

Good. (I hope you're ok, but changing this situation is a positive thing.)

Just remember, he's a scrounging cunt and you are better off without him, literally!

It's all totally kicked off he came in ranting about how I've parked the car no hello etc and then said he's taking his kids out for a meal with his friend and their kids I said can me and the lads come he said no you can't it's a time out for us. I was boiling I was raging I lost the plot everything came out and I've got some new trousers on so he brought that up I said go and find somewhere to live for £70 you absolute vile bastard well that was it he came up in my face and threw his wallet full force at me from across the room. His mates awful as well and I said go out with your loser Friend who also does not pay maintenance he said it's because he was going out and I didn't like it , it wasn't that at all it's the whole thing he doesn't invite me and the lads going out for his nice meals well I'm glad he can fucking afford it he's gone and slammed the door I hate him everything has come out the whole fucking lot of it.

Stay strong OP, it's good you found your anger