Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Should he wear his wedding ring?

74 replies

Raspberrytrifle92 · 14/05/2019 22:52

My sister and husband fell out today because he’s told her that he doesn’t want to wear his ring because it’s irritating and he doesn’t like jewellery and has never worn any before. She was upset and they only got married last week and got back from honeymoon. It’s like he doesn’t understand the emotional said and what it means. I’m not sure what to say to my sister but was wondering if anyone on here has ever been told that their hubby doesn’t want to wear their ring. He’s only tried to wear it for a few days and he never said he didn’t like rings before they got married.

OP posts:
ScreamingLadySutch · 14/05/2019 23:26

Men are such twats. Why do they make life so difficult!

Posh men tend not to wear wedding rings, in the old wedding ceremony only the wife is given a ring.

This is a perfectly reasonable open and honest conversation he could have had BEFORE getting married, now he has jolted his wife's trust in him with this avoidant passive aggressive BS.

GreenTulips · 14/05/2019 23:28

He tried. It’s not a big deal. He still has it.

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest

Pipandmum · 14/05/2019 23:29

While he should have said before he didn’t want to wear a ring I don’t see the issue. My dad never wore one and they were married for 49 years (before he passed away). So what it doesn’t mean the you are any less married.

Floralnomad · 14/05/2019 23:33

We’ve been married for 30 yrs this year and dh wore his wedding ring for about a week before it came off , he’s not a jewellery wearer . It has never bothered me , and as it is I developed contact dermatitis badly about 15 yrs ago so I also cannot wear any jewellery now so the two rings live together in a box .

newnameold · 14/05/2019 23:35

2 threads about your sisters husbands wedding ring? Why do you care?

happymummy12345 · 15/05/2019 00:04

I'll be honest I would hate it if my husband refused to wear a ring. Then again I'd hate not having his last name.
It matters to me, a lot and I would be very upset by it.

FuriousVexation · 15/05/2019 01:19

Had he ever tried to wear a ring before the wedding? If not, he wouldn't know that he didn't get on with rings and couldn't have let her know beforehand.

I mean let's be honest the "emotional side" of wearing a ring basically means "letting people know I'm owned" - so unless your sister thinks he's likely to go around telling people "yeah I'm single actually" then it's a moot point (and at which I'd say she has a bigger problem than the wearing or not of a ring)

OldAndWornOut · 15/05/2019 01:23

You seem over invested in your sisters marriage.
Not the greatest start to wedded bliss, I would think, being harangued to wear jewellery by your wife and her family.

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 15/05/2019 01:23

I don’t wear a wedding ring, my husband does. I still love him, despite not wearing a ring, (or taking his name 🙄)

MrHaroldFry · 15/05/2019 01:27

I only ever wear my wedding ring if I remember to put it on. My husband never takes his off. Neither one of us is perplexed or emotional because of a ring. It is only a symbol, it is not the be all and end all.

Tavannach · 15/05/2019 01:32

Does it fit properly?

MrsHormonal2019 · 15/05/2019 02:01

My husband takes a lot of pride in his but he's a soppy git who loves the family cliche of married, kids and preggers wife and wants everyone to know it.
He should have been a woman lol

Sarah242 · 15/05/2019 02:32

We talked about it before getting married because he didn’t want to wear a ring. He didn’t even want to get one, but I asked him to get one for the ceremony and said I wouldn’t mind if it sat in a drawer after that day.

Turns out he loves wearing it and wears his ring more than I wear mine.

I don’t think it matters that much, but it’s something worth talking about. Beforehand, preferably. My ex used to wear his religiously but it’s not like it stopped him from cheating on me.

OkPedro · 15/05/2019 02:37

Yeah coz all women love the wedding, being preggers and having kids. Christ it’s like we’ve been transported to the 1950’s.
And “I would hate not having my husbands surname” double christ

Walkingdeadfangirl · 15/05/2019 02:40

Seriously, why should he be forced to wear something he doesn't want to. WTF has the world come to?

wombat1a · 15/05/2019 02:41

Dh never wears his, I really ought to get it melted down and turned into some ear rings in future so it doesn't go to waste.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/05/2019 03:22

Her husband didn't say he doesn't like rings because he never wore one before. I fail to see the problem. It irritated him. My dad never wore his ring and my parents have been married for 50 years.

Alicewond · 15/05/2019 03:26

I don’t wear rings, they annoy me, I never knew this before having to wear a rind daily forever

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/05/2019 03:35

DH doesn't really like rings but he wears his. I'm fine either way. I didn't wear mine for a couple of years but I wear it now. Makes not a bit of difference to my fidelity or how I feel about DH.

Becles · 15/05/2019 04:13

Check out the fitting and if that's not the problem, they can discuss selling both their wedding rings and spending the money on a romantic dinner.

The engagement ring can sit in a drawer.

StoppinBy · 15/05/2019 05:18

I can't wear mine because I keep getting a nasty rash under it, every now and again I try to wear it and it flares up again.

I can see why your sister would be upset though if the only reason is it's annoying as you do quickly get used to them and not even notice them after a while.

BillywilliamV · 15/05/2019 05:23

She could have the size altered and wear it herself?

Flyingkites123 · 15/05/2019 05:30

Tbh, you've just reminded me I need to get my engagement ring from behind the bedside table as it's been there weeks. I hate wearing jewellery. It's not that I don't love my fiance. Oh course I do. But I really don't like wearing rings.

If your sister is worried that he isn't wearing it because he still wants to appear to be single maybe she needs to chat to him about it. But in my experience, its the men who slip it off when you don't know about it (I. E. In a bar) that you need to worry about.

Strugglingtodomybest · 15/05/2019 05:41

My DH doesn't wear his, although he may have lost it, I'm not sure.

I'm not bothered, I know he loves me.

I'd tell my sister, as kindly as possible, to get a grip and not sweat the small stuff.

Podemos · 15/05/2019 05:49

I was married to a man who never took his ring off (as far as I knew). He had several affairs. Life was pretty miserable.

I'm now married to a wonderfully faithful man who doesn't like to wear his ring. Couldn't be happier.