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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should he wear his wedding ring?

74 replies

Raspberrytrifle92 · 14/05/2019 22:52

My sister and husband fell out today because he’s told her that he doesn’t want to wear his ring because it’s irritating and he doesn’t like jewellery and has never worn any before. She was upset and they only got married last week and got back from honeymoon. It’s like he doesn’t understand the emotional said and what it means. I’m not sure what to say to my sister but was wondering if anyone on here has ever been told that their hubby doesn’t want to wear their ring. He’s only tried to wear it for a few days and he never said he didn’t like rings before they got married.

OP posts:
WhoKnewBeefStew · 15/05/2019 09:55

My dad never wore his ring (a lot to do with his job as a mechanic- it was dangerous), he only ever wore it on special occasions.

My friends dh never wears his. I don’t see the big deal tbh

firstimemamma · 15/05/2019 10:02

I don't remember my late grandad ever wearing his and he and my late grandma were happily married for decades and until my grandma died (after she died he wore her wedding ring on a chain around his neck).

If my fiancé doesn't want to wear a ring once we get married, I wouldn't mind. It would really be neither here nor there to me. It's just a ring.

Ninkaninus · 15/05/2019 10:05

My OH has always said he won’t wear one and it doesn’t bother me at all. He hates jewellery, the only thing he ever wears is a watch. He’s not the only one, either. Plenty of men don’t wear them.

It’s not even really traditional for men to do so, I don’t think. It’s only been happening for a few generations. It started during WW2 I believe.

I think she ought to seriously think about what marriage actually means.

louise5754 · 15/05/2019 10:18

@MrsHormonal2019 how does your husband take pride in his wedding ring?

Curiousdad18 · 15/05/2019 10:21

I never wore jewellery before marriage and hated wearing my wedding ring at the start. I used to take it off all the time to wash my hands and as soon as I got in from work it was thrown in a drawer.

I got used to it and now don't take it off ever. It's not unreasonable not to wear it but he should at least give it a go for a while to see if he gets used to it.

MumsyJ · 15/05/2019 10:30

Although divorced now. But I'd love if a man wore his wedding ring, I just enjoy seeing men wearing their wedding rings ( just my personal thing, yea I know I'm weird Smile). Having said this, I wouldn't be dramatic about it if he refused to wear his, could be some skin irritation they experience wearing the jewellery.

OP, your sis could equally take hers off to balance the equation aye. That way, no screams nor upsets. Better still, she could use hers as pendant on her necklace?

MintGreen · 15/05/2019 10:44

I don't think it's a big deal - it's his hand so it's up to him whether he is comfortable wearing jewellery on it.
As for the fidelity aspect, wearing a ring in no way indicates faithfulness. I'm very ashamed of this but when I was young and stupid in my first graduate job a colleague pursued me and one thing led to another while we were working away. It was only when we were actually doing the deed that I noticed he was wearing a wedding ring! I was completely horrified as I had no idea he wasn't single and I had never noticed the ring before. Turns out he had a wife and three kids. Scumbag.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 15/05/2019 10:50

He should definitely be forced to wear an item of jewellry he doesn't like wearing. How unreasonable of him!

DH used to have a variety of rings when we met, but 20 years later doesn't wear any of them except wedding ring.

HelloDoris · 15/05/2019 10:52

My husband lost 2 rings just after our wedding 4 years ago and now does not bother wearing one. He can't wear a ring at work as it's a health and safety risk. It simply does not bother me at all, ring/no ring we are still married. I wear mine but i have always worn rings so it's normal for me to wear. He would not care if i decided to stop wearing mine, I very rarely wear my engagement ring as I have others i prefer more!

FizzyGreenWater · 15/05/2019 15:05

Tell her to tell him that's fine but only if he now changes his name to hers.

HE NEEDS TO SHOW HIS LUUUURVE!

RamblinRosie · 16/05/2019 01:15

My husband didn’t want a wedding ring, he doesn’t do jewellery and he loses anything. Not a problem!

RamblinRosie · 16/05/2019 01:18

My husband didn’t want a wedding ring, he doesn’t do jewellery and he loses anything. Not a problem!

nocoolnamesleft · 16/05/2019 01:25

My parents remain happily married after over 50 years. My dad has never worn a ring. Though he does like buying my mum nice rings...which is probably even better!

goose1964 · 16/05/2019 10:10

My husband never wears his wedding ring, and I've not worn mine since I took it off, because of swollen fingers, and can't remember where I put it.

We are no less married because of it, over 30 years.

WeArnottamused · 16/05/2019 10:23

My husband doesn’t wear his wedding ring, hasn’t done since about a week after we got married, he doesn’t like jewellery, has never worn anything other than a watch. Unfortunately he’s seen colleagues lose fingers getting their wedding rings caught leaping fences etc.

It doesn’t bother me, never has done as others have said it doesn’t make us any less married.

ChristmasFluff · 16/05/2019 17:04

My Dad never had a ring, and was faithful until he died.

the abusive ex wore a 'wedding' ring even though we weren't married, and was constantly cheating. A ring means fuck all, so it's up to your sister if she wants to get upset about fuck all.

She could even stop wearing hers, if she doesn't want to continue a tradition borne out of ownership.

Nogoodusername · 16/05/2019 17:38

Mine tried to wear his for a couple of months. Didn’t find it comfortable, so ditched it. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest - have been married over 10 years since!

DBML · 16/05/2019 17:41

My husband doesn’t wear his ring because he got too fat for it. No problem.

IKnowYouAndYouCannotSing · 16/05/2019 17:41

Historically wearing a wedding ring for a man is a bit common anyway. My husband doesn’t wear one and I couldn’t care less. I was given one in the ceremony but I don’t always wear it. I’ve got a ruby ring that my daughter brought me on a significant birthday which I often wear on that finger instead. It’s just jewellery, it’s just a symbol, not the actual marriage.

AdoraBell · 16/05/2019 17:42

As I said to my DH before we got married, no one is obliged to wear a wedding ring.

GillBiggeloesHair · 16/05/2019 17:44

My DH wore it on our wedding day in 2001 then never again.
He doesn't wear any jewellery, not even a watch.

ReanimatedSGB · 16/05/2019 17:44

She could always piss in his pocket every morning if she's that desperate to mark her territory...

VeniVidiViciTwice · 16/05/2019 18:13

My husband wears it on his right hand with a thin band holding it in place (it's too big) as he is too fucking tight to get it altered! Actually not sure why he wears it on his right hand though, he could put it on his left hand with a smaller one to hold in place...

I get she is frustrated, it bothered me at first but if his reasons are genuine, that he can't get on with jewellery and he has tried (although a week or two does seem a little short...) then she will have to accept it.

Biancadelrioisback · 16/05/2019 18:19

Neither DH not I wear them. We're still married

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