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Original poster

My ex husband won’t give back my parents inheritance

117 replies

dalmationdotty · 27/04/2019 08:51

I am in the process of a divorce after a long marriage. Long story short. Over the last 10 or so years my father used to give me lump sums of money from part of my future inheritance. He said he’d rather I had the money now when I needed it. He has since passed, bless him. I used the money as a deposit to buy our first home and our second home and also to do our extension etc. Which my husband knew and was very happy about. Without my parents help we would have never afforded our current property. I also worked part time so have always contributed to the running costs and mortgage too. Now we are looking to possibly sell the property and in splitting the profit I have asked for the inheritance that was mine to be accounted for. My husband just laughed at me and told me I was an idiot. FYI I am not wanting to sell the house as still have young kids at the local school and I have been paying the bills and mortgage myself since he has left. He only pays me child maintenance and nothing more and hasn’t contributed to the upkeep of the house either since he has left. He is forcing or trying to force a sale as he needs the money to buy his own home which I don’t think is unreasonable at all. But he says we split the house 50:50. FYI he is on a huge salary 4 x mine and is renting a very nice big family home, but he wants to own a home not rent anymore.
Any advice??

OP posts:
MonaChopsis · 27/04/2019 08:53

The inheritance is a marital asset now, so you can't get that back as such. However, if he earns more than you and you have the kids more often than him, you should get more than a 50:50 split. You need to talk to a good solicitor.

Original poster
dalmationdotty · 27/04/2019 08:54

Maybe for the sake of keeping the peace I just let it go. It’s only money after all but then I think of the kids and don’t want them to lose their home either? Just trying to be fair and reasonable. Plus make sure I can afford to buy a decent family home if I do sell.

OP posts:
Enterthewolves · 27/04/2019 08:54

Get legal advice. You are likely to be entitled to more than 50% if you are the primary carer and on a lower salary - you need to think about pensions as well.

lablablab · 27/04/2019 08:56

Well, you invested it in the family house while in a marriage. I'm not sure it's a legitimate (or ethical) claim. However, get legal advice. You might be entitled to more anyway, which will make up for the inheritance shortfall.

mummmy2017 · 27/04/2019 09:00

I think due to his wages and the pension.....he has. He is in for a shock....
Make sure you wait till you talk to a judge ..
How much is your equity?

mummmy2017 · 27/04/2019 09:03

Sorry solicitor not judge...
His pension pot could be loads.

MyKingdomForBrie · 27/04/2019 09:03

Oh god go to a solicitor. You can't get your inheritance back as you made it a marital asset but you can get more than 50% in your circumstances.

Quartz2208 · 27/04/2019 09:08

Get legal advice ASAP - agree with PP you can’t get the inheritance back per se but you can and should go for more than 50/50

nrpmum · 27/04/2019 09:08

Experience tells me that this won't be ring fenced, but I am not an expert and my divorce was over 3 years ago so you are best off seeking legal advice

Citygirl2019 · 27/04/2019 09:09

Please get a solicitor. I wold of agreed to a 50/50 split. But once it was pointed out to me that his pension was worth more and he would be leaving the marriage better off.

It ended with me having majority of the equity and a pension share.

AnotherEmma · 27/04/2019 09:12

Get legal advice for goodness sake.

This is not just about your inheritance, this is about the disparity in salaries, assets and pensions. Presumably you enabled his well-paid career by working part-time and taking on more childcare.

GET LEGAL ADVICE.

Cambionome · 27/04/2019 09:12

Please don't say that you haven't seen a solicitor??

Summersunshine2 · 27/04/2019 09:14

Don't just get any legal advice - get a bloody good divorce solicitor.
He sounds awful at least you are divorcing.

Lordamighty · 27/04/2019 09:14

Solicitor, solicitor, solicitor - get proper legal advice.

YouJustDoYou · 27/04/2019 09:16

Solicitor op. Right now.

Circlegame · 27/04/2019 09:17

Yes it will all go in the pot to be divided up.

timeisnotaline · 27/04/2019 09:18

Solicitor! Your inheritance is probably a marital asset now but a 50/50 split of the marital assets sound wrong. Get a solicitor and include his pension in the split.

Qweenbee · 27/04/2019 09:22

Yes you can't get the inheritance as such, but you might be entitled to more than 50% as part of the "clean break" that courts tend to favour now. Don't forget to take pension into account.

Oblomov19 · 27/04/2019 09:22

Does deposit on a house not count? What if one person brings a lot to the table and the other brings nothing?

Say 2 divorcees get together. Bringing different amounts from their divorces. Does no one recognise that you bring £50k or £75k into the marriage?

Dippypippy1980 · 27/04/2019 09:25

I know it’s a little late but you should have sorted this when you bought the house - you don’t have to own it fifty fifty.

Your ex sounds like a nasty piece of work - I hope you have a good solicitor

TBDO · 27/04/2019 09:25

Don’t agree 50/50 just to keep the peace. You need security for you AND your DC. Find that fighting spirit for their sake - think about what happens if he remarries and leaves his money to his new wife (and it passes down to her DC).

You can’t rely on him to look after your DC financially in the future - you can only rely on yourself - so see a good divorce solicitor and get a fair settlement (in your circs this is more than 50% of the house).

As PP say, don’t forget there are other assists - pension - that could be worth a considerable amount too.

SnapesGreasyHair · 27/04/2019 09:33

I'm just going to echo what everyone else has said. You MUST get a solicitor. My XH higher earner etc tried to split 50/50.... and then the CETV should what his pension was worth.... 5 times mine! So he didn't get the equity out of the house as he wanted his precious pension instead. Which meant l kept the house.

Thatnovembernight · 27/04/2019 09:37

When I got divorced my solicitor was very clear that as the children were living with me the court would not support a 50/50 split as the housing needs of the children would come first. They would also take into account the fact my lifetime earning potential/ potential career progression was seriously curtailed as I could only work part time due to school holidays etc (he said he could not have time off during school holidays). Plus usual before and after school care etc. So while you might not be able to ‘keep’ your inheritance, you might be able to negotiate something better, particularly considering his high earnings etc. You don’t have to have a solicitor do the whole divorce for you, you can just pay for one or two meetings to get advice. Good luck.

Rainbunny · 27/04/2019 09:38

Solicitor is the way to go, it's not a black and white question as to whether your inheritance money is ring fenced ot not and to what extent it might be ring-fenced.

Also, it seems that you will further inherit from your father at some point in the future, that it also something that may factor into your divorce financial settlement although generally speaking the court is less likely to pay too much attention to that as future inheritances are not always guaranteed and any potential amount/time frame is a changing aspect. Still, it's a possible thing to consider. Again, solicitor!

Orangeballon · 27/04/2019 09:41

If you have children under 16 then there is no need to sell the house and the courts will always side with the children in all cases. They are considered a priority.