Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Group tour holiday and the tip to the guide - AIBU to question this?

118 replies

user57424 · 27/04/2019 07:40

I am on a tour group holiday. 12 people. The trip was very expensive, you pay for the nice hotels and safe transportation etc. I chose it because I hadn't travelled alone before but I only just about managed to pay for it. anyway, after booking we have all the info through and the last page says there is the option to give a tip as is the local custom, to the guide who was with us for the week. they suggest 10 pounds a day, but at your discretion at the end of the trip.

during the trip, it has been suggested that 2,500 is collected, meaning we pay about 200 pounds each for a week. one person in the group is very loud and has sort of taken control of this and is asking when people are drawing out money so they can collect it.

these are people ive met on the tour so didn't know them before. AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this? I know they are collecting it for the guide - no concerns over that part - but I think 200 is a lot of money and the holiday was already very expensive. it is a poor country generally so I feel terrible at the same time!! I obviously have more than this guide and driver does, but I didn't plan to spend this.

never been in this situation before so don't know if it's the standard? nobody else has said anything about it but I did get the impression a couple of them were surprised at the amount, but in a group situation like this nobody wants to rock the boat or come across like a dick.

advice welcome!!!

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 27/04/2019 07:47

Just tell the bossy person you will tip the guide directly so you can decide how much to give.

1idea · 27/04/2019 07:48

I’d be reluctant to trust someone collecting that much and I’d say I’d like to pass mine directly to the guide with a note of appreciation or says it’s beyond your budget for the trip if you’re comfortable to. £200 is a lot of money how many days is the tour?

Original poster
user57424 · 27/04/2019 07:48

that was what I thought but I am worried this is a customary thing on tour groups where you give a tip.

I also feel vert mean but just don't have this sort of money/didn't plan for it.

OP posts:
missbonita · 27/04/2019 07:48

I’d tell them I’m sorting it myself and give what I felt appropriate/could afford.

Redskyandrainbows67 · 27/04/2019 07:50

That is a big tip. It’s only a suggestion you don’t need to pay all of it.

I would pass directly to guide at the end of the tour.

Original poster
user57424 · 27/04/2019 07:50

it is a 9 day trip.

woman will take great offence if I suggest she isn't giving it to the guides and I also know it definitely will go to the guides. I am not worried about that.

I could say beyond budget but I could get it together if needed, it would just make life a little harder next month. nothing compared with what these guides have to live like though, which makes me fee bad!

OP posts:
Original poster
user57424 · 27/04/2019 07:51

how much would you give?

OP posts:
Redskyandrainbows67 · 27/04/2019 07:52

A 9 day trip is £90 - you could reasonably pay anything from £50-£90.

£90 x 12 is £1080

Phoenixrise · 27/04/2019 07:55

I’ve been on similar tours, and normally just tip the amount suggested in the info pack, with a bit extra if the guides been really good or exceptionally helpful.

I’d suggest passing a envelope around the group so people can put in what they’re comfortable with

Original poster
user57424 · 27/04/2019 07:58

the woman has been so pushy I said I would sort if with the company directly and she asked for a bank transfer to her so that she could draw the money out for me on her card as she has one that is free to withdraw abroad!!

OP posts:
FindYourCentre · 27/04/2019 07:59

Speak to a couple other people in the group and see if you can get their opinion. Don't feel pressured to give 200£ people may just be waiting for someone to say "how MUCH?!". More practically you could write a card and pop your tip in there so no one else knows what you've given. Although I wouldn't tell the bossy one this as she may want a group card for everyone to sign! Eugh! Hate 'that one person' in the group

PersonaNonGarter · 27/04/2019 08:00

Poor you! What a horrible situation to be in.

I would take bossy woman aside and say quietly that you prefer to tip in person when you say thank you to the guides - but it was kind of her to offer to do it. Then walk off. Don’t get drawn in. That’s just what you prefer.

Do not let this woman make next month difficult for you.

FindYourCentre · 27/04/2019 08:01

As for your last post just say "no thanks! I don't need you to organise his for me/I'm perfectly capable of sorting this out myself. Stop pressuring me/everyone"

Phoenixrise · 27/04/2019 08:01

Are the rest of the group happy to tip the amount she’s asking for?

notmuchmoretogive · 27/04/2019 08:01

Just tell her you will be paying and thanking the guide directly. Don't worry about offending her, she sounds like a PITA.

Original poster
user57424 · 27/04/2019 08:03

ahh god it is so hard! she is nice, just loud and opinionated. also as the trip was expensive they assume everyone has a lot of disposable cash. I feel bad as these guys need money more than I do, but I didn't expect someone to get a calculator out and tell me I have to pay x amount! I also find it incredibly rude, but again don't know if this is standard on tour groups.

OP posts:
Longislandicetee · 27/04/2019 08:03

Take a deep breath and just say no. You're never going to see her again.

Redskyandrainbows67 · 27/04/2019 08:04

It isn’t standard - the book has suggested a guide amount as a guide - you aren’t obligated to pay it.

It’s the tour company’s job to pay their staff not yours

azulmariposa · 27/04/2019 08:04

Hmm transfer the money to her? Sounds a bit suspect!

Original poster
user57424 · 27/04/2019 08:04

a couple of people seemed surprised but it is awkward in a group like that, and the guide is good, so if you say no then you could be seen as a dick.

I totally get where you are all coming from but it is easier said than done standing up to someone in this context where you are all on holiday together.

is this normal for a group trip to discuss a tip collectively?

OP posts:
Downthecanal · 27/04/2019 08:05

This would really annoy me. I have a friend that like to do shit like this. Like going on holiday and wanting to do a daily kitty that she holds and pays every thing for Hmm

Stand firm and just give him what you want directly.

MsJaneAusten · 27/04/2019 08:05

Are most of the others in couples? Is she collecting £200 per couple do you think?

Montymorency · 27/04/2019 08:05

You will never see this bossy person again so what she says or does doesn't matter.

timeisnotaline · 27/04/2019 08:06

I’d be paying the standard (I would absolutely be paying what’s recommended though, horrified by tourists who don’t).
I wouldn’t stress about her reaction, I’d say it’s lovely of you but I’m afraid we will only tip the recommended amount, maybe round it up to £200 total from £180. Or the nearest large round number in local currency.

Downthecanal · 27/04/2019 08:06

user I think once’s its been suggested some people will just go with the flow, some will feel pressured in to and some will object.

The tour guide will be used to private payments

Swipe left for the next trending thread