Group tour holiday and the tip to the guide - AIBU to question this?

[user57424]

I am on a tour group holiday. 12 people. The trip was very expensive, you pay for the nice hotels and safe transportation etc. I chose it because I hadn't travelled alone before but I only just about managed to pay for it. anyway, after booking we have all the info through and the last page says there is the option to give a tip as is the local custom, to the guide who was with us for the week. they suggest 10 pounds a day, but at your discretion at the end of the trip.

during the trip, it has been suggested that 2,500 is collected, meaning we pay about 200 pounds each for a week. one person in the group is very loud and has sort of taken control of this and is asking when people are drawing out money so they can collect it.

these are people ive met on the tour so didn't know them before. AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this? I know they are collecting it for the guide - no concerns over that part - but I think 200 is a lot of money and the holiday was already very expensive. it is a poor country generally so I feel terrible at the same time!! I obviously have more than this guide and driver does, but I didn't plan to spend this.

never been in this situation before so don't know if it's the standard? nobody else has said anything about it but I did get the impression a couple of them were surprised at the amount, but in a group situation like this nobody wants to rock the boat or come across like a dick.

advice welcome!!!

I’ve been on several group trips on my own and have never had what you describe. It is none of this woman’s business what, how much or when you decide to tip. Find a sentence and just repeat any time it comes up - I’m sorting out my own tip, thanks. Move on, away from the group every time annoying woman brings it up.

nobody is in a couple on this holiday. I had planned to give 50 quid so a little less than the recommended, on the basis that the trip had been expensive. this may have been misguided though (pardon the pun) as perhaps they are not paid well by the company. im new to travel!!

If she discusses it again, don’t engage with her. Change the subject. You can tip how much you want, when you want. At the end of the trip, if she questions you for ‘your share’, you can simply say ‘I’ve paid mine directly to the guide and passed on my appreciation’.

Please do not let her make you part with your cash. Just don’t. Tell yourself you are not going to let her. And don’t. You aren’t being unpleasant to her or anyone else.

Take the bossy boots to one side, ask for a quiet word

Then say

You are putting me ina very difficult position. I would like to give what I can, but please be aware not everyone on the trip is in the same financial situation. I don’t actually have the £200 you want and it’s made me feel very uncomfortable

Others will be thinking the same as you. Take her or someone else sensible aside and say that you’ll be paying the guide separately and to the guideline amount.

How near the end are you? You might find towards th3 end someone else pops up as ‘the leader’ in the group.

Yes you tip. It's in the information pack you get before you go. You don't have to give the top to the bossy woman. We have just passed round an envelope and then handed it to the guide as a group. I wouldn't do a bank transfer.

Is this an organised trip to a developing country? If so, the travel company bumph should have given clear info on tipping.

The tip may be a big (the biggest) part of the guides remuneration.
In some cultures (eg China) an individual tip is seen as patronising while a group tip is acceptable.

But tips should be paid in cash, in local currency, and I would not be making bank transfers to a self appointed tip monitor.

Why not tip your guide right now?

You have a guide price, just tip them £90 and then bossy woman can't do anything. You sweetly say 'I've already paid my tip' and walk away.

It is customary to tip at the end of the tour but I doubt the guide will mind.

ends on Tuesday. I was just shocked by it really. not the suggestion of a tip or even questions about what people thought was appropriate, but more the decision and written list of names by this person who she crosses off when she had their money!

Tbh it’s a really stupid idea for bossy boots to have £2k on her in cash - really stupid idea to be carrying that in cash

You should tip the recommended amount the fact that the trip was expensive due to expensive hotels, etc., has no bearing on the guids's income. You don't have to do it via her (you may trust her but I don't) but don't be cheap. You chose to take an expensive holiday so do the right thing.

She sounds awful.

Years ago I went on a similar tip and someone organised a collective tip but they just went down the bus letting people stick notes in a big envelope. So I guess no pressure on amount and nobody knew who had put what in.

The bank transfer is to the bossy woman and she will then get the cash out so she (bossy) is not planning to try and transfer the money to the guide.

As pp said no it's not normal to be "told" by one participant what you're doing so stick to your own plan.

Hi,

I have been on similar trips - i.e. guided trips to poor countries with a local guide. On each of the trips I have been on, someone has offered to collect the tip and we have a small presentation on the final day when we thank the guide and pass the tip over in an envelope from the whole group. However, it has always been made clear that whilst the company might suggest a tip per person, this is just a suggestion and everyone gives what they are able/want to.

£200 sounds a lot per person?

Just stand your ground. Why on earth she has doubled the amount and expected all to pay that is ridiculous.

Why take her aside? Bossy Boots isn't taking the OP aside or pestering the other tourists individually and privately. If there was a cultural reason for giving a group tip, I'm sure the holiday pack would give guidance on that, just as it does on the suggested amount.

Also she is NOT nice (although may have some nice qualities, people are rarely all horrible or all perfect!) she is railroading you and ruining the last few days of your holiday by stressing you out. Someone who is nice would say 'I'm happy to collect your donations (whatever they are) and give to guide.

Is she saying £200 as you mention guides ie more than 1? So £90 per guide
I did a tour in Russia for 2 days with partner and randoms and we all did our own tips to driver and guide. It does seem easier to do it ax s group though rather than tons of people on last day queue up and do something (or nothing). But all putting something or nothing into one enevelope seems fair. No one shamed them.
But still people do the amount they want and no one should transfer money. The tour could be bad or there may be some good reason not to tip so need to wait to the end.

You talk about the guides income and feeling bad for them... yes they probably earn less than you or I but in relation to their economy that is considered a VERY well paid job. Think of other workers like the maids, bar staff etc. They need the tips more!

I regularly travel on this type of group holiday - are you travelling with someone like G Adventures/ Intrepid? On every trip I've just given my tip direct to the guide as was my preference as it was MY tip. It's no one's business to take over this task & im surprised no one else is calling this person out. Just politely stated you'd prefer to hand it to the guide yourself when you say goodbye and thank you at the end of the trip & if they try to push it just stick with the line that it's your preference to hand it over direct. If they take offence or take it the wrong way then that's a shame but you're probably never going to see them again, right?

You're probably not the only person in the group who feels this way.

Btw, the amount suggested does seem a little steep. I've usually gone for $2 a day for a driver and $5 a day for a guide. However a recent trip was onboard a sailing boat & $100 a week for the crew was suggested. Like you we were slightly blindsided by this & were a little short (ended up tipping about $80). They were still VERY happy with the tip...

Well you can either bow to the pressure or get your big girl pants in and say you would prefer to give your own card/tip. Personally I’d say I budgeted the amount recommended in the guide, and that’s what I’m giving but I’m quite happy to do that!
There’s always one organiser within a group (and I know this ones probably a nice person, albeit a bit pushy), so this will happen again if you plan on traveling. Stay strong op, you are not being tight!

What a horrible position to be in. I wouldn't take kindly to being bossed around. It also seems silly to me that this is being raised so soon into a 9-day trip that doesn't end until Tuesday.

You only need to say one sentence to her and that is 'Thank you but I am going to give the recommended amount to the guide myself in cash'. End of.

It doesn't matter what she wants to do. You do not need her to act on your behalf anyway. Nobody does.

I definitely wouldn't trust somebody I hadn't met prior to the holiday with my bank details and neither would I give her cash. You say you trust her yet she is a virtual stranger and you have no reason to trust that she will hand over the collective tip in its entirety. The fact that it is over double the recommended amount and the way it is being collected suggests to me that she may very well pay over the recommended amount (or less) and keep the excess for herself.

I would, however, pay the recommended amount of £10 per day, therefore £90. To think you shouldn't because the holiday was expensive is not a good enough reason to reduce the tip. You were advised of this before you went on the trip, albeit after you had booked,.

Has she been relaxed and normal with money throughout the rest of the trip? The behaviour with the list, names, higher amount and asking for transfers, would make me suspicious that perhaps everyone in the group was being used to pay her share of the tip as she has run out of cash?