Would this message bother you? And how would you expect your Oh to reply?

[NotReadyForThisX2]

Dp slipped up so he says and told his colleagues we're expecting another baby, small age gap so it's been a shock for us both.

Anyway, he had a few messages via WhatsApp congratulations and what not. He handed me the phone to read one from a mutual friend and in the process I saw one from a female colleague saying congratulations but followed by: bet that's a good year of no sex for you then and the emoji smirking smiley face. I was a bit hmm, he's not particularly close to her or anything and I'm not worried about anything else going on but it's not really appropriate is it?
But his reply was: I know right 😫. Which I'm more annoyed about. He said he took it as her joking about me getting pregnant so soon and replied in a jokey, Yep there's no chance she'll let me near her again way.

I don't actually know what I'd expect him to reply if I'm honest but I just feel like what he put is a bit disrespectful. But I'm pregnant and my hormones are crazy so don't know if I'm overreacting.
If I was one of his mates I wouldn't mind as they know us and I'd know it was said jokingly.

I can't really be cross with him for what she sent though can I? And I don't suppose his reply was bad.
I just feel fat and frumpy so the thought of him getting any messages about sex of any kind from other women isn't likely to fill me with joy.

In all honesty, that would really bother me.

I suppose there isn't really a good reply, just a very bizarre message to send someone.

Too familiar for my liking. A simple congratulations or joke about more sleepless nights fair enough but not about sex.

As mentioned he should have ignored it.

He may not be interested. But she's definitely taking the temperature of the situation. She's bad news.

I certainly read that @PicsInRed

Do you think his reply was too familiar @MashedSpud or just her message.
He said he didn't not reply because he thought that was rude and he felt it was just a jokey comment and nothing more to it.

In fact, I'd even wager a guess this isn't her first rodeo.

I would be slightly annoyed but not at him. His reply was just polite - I'd see it that anyway. The initial joke was stupid and not something I'd send a male colleague or close friend.

What do you mean @PicsInRed that she's interested in him?

Posted too soon!
And the first rodeo comment, that she's tried to engage him before?

It's likely she's interested and testing the waters ... hoping to exploit a pregnancy drought. She's opened the conversation with DH, made it an acceptable topic to discuss with her, if he ever wants to (which he may not). She's planted the seed. Now she waits.

I doubt this is the first attached man she has made an inappropriate approach to. This was too smooth, comfortable and direct of an approach to a married man for it to have been her first. She's had conversations like this before.

I would have expected him to give that comment the respect it deserved by simply blanking it

Yanbu to be annoyed

I'm sure she's married @PicsInRed and she's a fair bit older than us.
I wouldn't speak to colleagues like that at all though and I asked Dp if he'd like me to discuss sex or our (presumed) lack of to my colleagues, even in a supposed jokey way and he said no of course he wouldn't.
I shouldn't now have to specifically say if she messages about sex again to just not reply, or should I?

I find it incredible that anyone would sour someone’s baby announcement with something as hurtful and crass as this. Banter or otherwise. She sounds awful. I don’t think his reply was that bad. It would have been much better for him to ignore it or jokingly set her straight but it’s done now. Now that you’ve discussed it with him, can you add that you’d like him to be careful over what sort of chat she tries to engage him in and to stick up for you a bit better in the future?

Ignoring it would have been the best option but his reply was ok. He wasn’t encouraging or flirtatious.

She may be interested in him (I’m not sure) but I think it’s pretty clear that he’s uninterested in her, because he could have taken that comment as a come-on and engaged with it if he’d so wished.

Asides from ignoring, another appropriate comment would have been "Thanks for the congratulations"...ignoring the rest of her comment. That would also send a clear message that he wasn't about to respond to anything about your sex life.

I'm sure she's married@PicsInRedand she's a fair bit older than us.

If married people didnt have affairs, adultery would cease to exist. Old people do it too (ewww ).

Honestly, if he was my husband I'd ask him to back away from her and keep some distance. She's bad news. If he's willing to do that, he's not a problem, therefore there is no problem. Ultimately, it comes down to whether he's a good and decent man. If he is, he won't banter and flirt with a tester-of-waters.

You see he'd already replied to the congratulations message @SandyY2K. Then she sent the other message
. And she's in the group chat which a few other colleagues said congrats on, that's what he was showing me as one of his work mates had said something jokingly on that. But she specifically sent a message just to him, why not just say it in the group chat.

But she specifically sent a message just to him, why not just say it in the group chat.

That is the right question.

I need to just relax though. It doesn't matter if she's interested, I don't believe Dp is and I don't think he thought for one second it was anything other than banter and it probably isn't.
I mean I think he's pretty great but that doesn't mean every other woman does 😂

He doesn't really see her @PicsInRed maybe once every few weeks or something in a work capacity and he sometimes needs to phone her regarding work. But they aren't in the same office or anything and don't work on things together.

I didn't say old! Just older than us, I think around 10 years older than Dp.,Although Dp just said he thinks she's separated so maybe not married.

She didn’t say it in the group chat because she wanted it to be personal, for his eyes only.

She crossed a line with this over-familiar, inappropriate comment about your intimate life. She was trying to elicit a response and start a dialogue with him about sex. It worked.

I would have expected my husband to ignore this message. Your H took the bait, responded in kind, and even put a frustrated face. As far as she is concerned, they are now in a dialogue about his sex life. I would assume that she will now give him ‘knowing glances’ at work.

I would tell him to blank her from now on.

I think it’s nothing especially if ur DP doesn’t think she’s initiating something /he has nothing wanting with her in any inappropriate way.

her comment depends on the the work place - men tend to get less when their wives/partners are pregnant !

Agree with exactly what @PicsinRed said at 21:28 yesterday- she sounds like bad news. Be careful (I’m talking from experience unfortunately) x

She could be giving Dp knowing glances and he honestly wouldn't have a clue! I think she'd need to be quite blatant with him and he'd obviously (hopefully) tell her where to go if she suggests anything.

I trust Dp so that's all that matters really.