Think my husband is having an affair

[KateMumtoBoys]

I think my husband is having an affair. Not sure were he is finding the time. He goes to work during the day then home. Doesn't socialise. Last week I found viagra in his wallet, wallet hidden inside work coat, and hung inside the wardrobe. Two tablets missing. He hasn't discussed buying these with me. I then convinced myself that he is having problems down below and doesnt want to talk to me about it? Then this week, I have found condoms in his gym bag. One in an old phone protector (so he had been keeping one in his phone proctector), then another 3 in the pocket of his gym bag. So I called into boots and these come in a packet of 10, so 6 used. We havent used condoms in over 7 years. Then I read in a google feed that some men use condoms to masturbate with. I really dont know what to do. I l always trusted him to the moon and back. I am in complete shock.

Yes I'm afraid he is having an affair.. most likely someone in work if you can't figure out how he has the time or could be when he is going to the "gym"
Its called a posh wank and I think it is an urban myth, no guy I have ever met liked using condoms let alone used them when they didn't have to
I am so sorry you are going through this, time to get your ducks in a row

No doubt if you confront him he’ll mention problems down there or posh wanks.

I’m sorry Kate it doesn’t look good and it’s devestating.

What do you want to do?

He might be taking time off work & using day rooms

You must have had other suspicions or you wouldn't have started looking for evidence

Hmm. The viagra wouldn't have been such a big concern as like you say he could be having issues he's too embarrassed to talk about.. but yeah the condoms unfortunately are a bit of a bad sign if you've not used them in years. How is your relationship in general?

Hi. Sorry to hear what you are going through. I think it's more likely he is having an affair than wanking into a condom.
My DH also started taking viagra when he started an affair. They need to show how manly they are and capable of holding an erection for hours (essentially lying to the affair partner too!).
Is there any other behaviours you've noticed, like keeping his phone on him at all times? You may think there isn't the opportunity but believe me, they will find a way!

He would leave his phone sitting around at times. I have checked it but cant see anything noticeable

Are relationship is ok to me? We always try to get weekends away together. We talk about everything - well I think we do until now

These would be red flags in marriage. I would also suspect someone at work.

He worked late one night last week and also had to go to work on the sunday for the first time ever. I was in the bedroom and wanted a coat to put on me to go outside onto the balcony and thats when I realised he had his wallet in his pocket which is very unusual. So thats what made me look. Now that I found the viagra - I was checking everywhere for other signs. & now I have found the condoms

Why were you going through his wallet and gym bag though ? You must have had reason to think something was up ?

Oh sorrycrossed posts

the Sunday thing definitely suspect

Just can't take it in. This is a 2nd marriage for both of us. We both met at work, thats how our relationship started. I can't see it being at a gym, he really isnt socialable. Really introvert. The only place he would be comunicating would be at work, so I guess he has built up a relationship with someone. I just thought it strange working until 10pm and having to go into work for a couple of hours on a Sunday. It is an old date on the condoms though - 2016, but dont know what this means?

I’d be wondering if he was using escorts and booking during his dinner break can you search his browser history

Yep. Sounds like an affair. Be careful how you proceed.

I am very sorry, Kate.

He is likely with someone from work during lunchtime, or perhaps they are leaving early.

I would gather it all up and confront him with it.

If he is leaving his phone around maybe he has a second one hidden?
Check bank statements for extra spending.

All depends if you want to stay or him to leave, finances etc, can you sit on that kind of info? who do you think it is ? Do you have skills to do some of the detective work yourself? I would staple pictures of the kids to his condom’s to visibly puncture them and add an extra mortice lock at home. I would hope he had already taken the viagra before he saw the children’s faces on his condoms, was sporting a painful erection, and found out the gig was up. I have a darker sense of humour than most people I know.

How did his first marriage end.

You’ll get so many people saying gather more evidence etc, but I would have to confront him.
Especially if you feel your relationship was solid untill this - I wouldn’t be able to keep it to myself!
Hope there’s an explanation for you OP!

He's probably not going to the gym, OP.

So sorry op but it doesn’t sound good

As for ‘how does he have the time ‘they always find the time I’m afraid’ add to that to the fact hes worked a frw extra hours

I am sorry you find yourself in this shocking position but using out of date condoms too so disrespectful to you and your sexual health.

Can you check his phone bill? Some people still conduct affairs by texting/calling and delete, but the bills tell the story.

Really, though, you have enough evidence.

Affair I think, I’m afraid.

The whole posh wank chestnut is crap. I’ve never met a man yet who likes condoms.