Hi, apologies if this rambles on a bit but here goes.
Im in a newish relationship (4 months or thereabouts) with someone who lives about 200 miles away. We met via a mutual friend (he sees this friend maybe once or twice a year).
I see him every couple of weeks. We always have a nice time. He always comes down to visit me and I havent met any of his other friends or family. He's seemed absolutely wonderful so far,very attentive, eg buying flowers at valentines and on my birthday recently. This was also the day after his dads funeral and I was actually a bit surprised that he chose to spend time with me rather than his mum and siblings/family. Im mentioning this as someone may think its relevant (not sure if thats the right word).
However in todays post Ive received an anonymous letter (sent to my business address) that says its not being sent maliciously but is giving me some genuine advice and that I should steer clear of him because, among other things: theres a reason he's still single (never married but a couple of LTRs) in his early 50s; I should ask myself why hes picked someone who lives somewhere that no one else knows him; he's a narcissist; hes an alcoholic (he does drink quite a bit when he's with me), bipolar and depressed but wont get help and a few other things. Ive also been sent screenshots of his OLD profiles and the detail behind the screenshot, apparently showing him as being online whilst we were out celebrating my bithday. Also, the letter mentions that he "targets" ladies who had children very young - I had a child when I was 16.
Id not previously worried about anything as regards his behaviour, but on reflection, he does hide his phone a lot - its always face down and he always takes it with him to the toilet and Ive noticed hes been on whatsapp while hes in there. His Facebook friends list is also hidden and Ive noticed that one of his exes (I asked who she is, its his ex fiancee) comments on all his photos, usually really inane comments but shes always the first to pipe up. There is also, now I think about it, some strange bedroom behaviour but i dont know if its appropriate to mention it here so apologies - he never ejaculates, just stops "for a rest". He doesnt have any children.
The letter also bizarrely suggests contacting any one of his ex gfs (and listed a LOT of names over the last 5 years) via Facebook to find out what hes really like.
So ... do I ignore this and assume its from a jealous ex, or do I tell him about whats happened and see what he says? The tone of the letter doesnt strike me as being particularly spiteful or jealous - it does say theyre not interested in getting him back.
Letter also suggests maybe i should set up an anonymous OLD profile to try and "flush him out" as they put it.
My track record with men isnt the happiest to be honest and now Im wondering if my judgment has let me down yet again. But he does seem lovely so far. I cant talk to any of my friends about this as id be mortified.