Activities that you and your DP do together?

[yellowbelliedlilylivered]

Coming to the realisation that DP and I don't have a lot in common and it's really affecting our ability to spend quality time together. Can I ask, what do you do with your DP (on a regular basis, doesn't cost a lot of money, require a huge amount of preparation) that allows you to bond?

Cooking together, trips to the seaside, going to museums (free!), TV (a LOT of TV), sex, talking about holidays we’ll have if we ever have any money

We watch certain tv programmes together. We love Geordie shore it's like our guilty pleasure so enjoy getting to sit and watch that laughing at it. We love quizzes so every night watch pointless and work as a team to try "win"

We play board games together too. We have quite a collection now that range from "serious" gamer ones to fun ones that anyone could pick up and play.

My DH is really into American football and is part of a fantasy league for that. Not something I was remotely interested in but I've tried to take an interest and ask him questions to better understand it and now watch some of the games with him (usually with a book in my lap so I can dip in and out)

What Annie said plus martial arts

Tv, theatre, gigs, cinema, tennis, skiing, hiking with the kids and dog. V occasional run together, we sometimes play scrabble, we both like reading and often recommend books that we know the other will like. Separately he enjoys cycling and I love yoga, I play tennis mostly with other people and we usually run separately. I like cooking and he likes eating what I cook!

We go for walks and do crosswords together, they are the free things I can think of. We also play some board games and plan what box sets we will watch on Netflix.

The times crossword is online and free.

Going for walks, gardening, cooking, watching tv (we like all the same shows), cinema, picnics when the weather is warm.

Go for walks in the evenings after work and on the weekend weather permitting
I like to look for cheap travelodges as low as £30 a night for a double room and visit a new area and go for walks and explore
We watch series together on Netflix and dramas like BBC and ITV.
That’s about it 😂

We game together. We play a MMORPG, and go raiding and things. That's quite fun, if you're into it.

We also have scrabble grudge matches and film nights. We used to go walking a lot but as we now have DS that's a bit different these days - less romantic handholding, more crowd control.

Nothing at the moment, apart from sleep together and have sex, but we used to do things together pre-children, so i’m sure it’ll all come back when out children are older.

Walk most evenings after dinner. We live in a nice area for walks. Sometimes go to the next town for a chippy tea by the beach. Find a box set we like. We eat at the table together not every night but often. He helps me garden, grudgingly.

Very little now we have two small dc, but if we can get a babysitter for an hour (difficult!!) we like to do the local park run on saturdays or if evening (more difficult!) go out for dinner or drinks. This is about twice a year though! We do watch certain tv shows together.

Some great suggestions here, thanks. I think a lot of activities are just facilitators of conversation and if you don't feel like you've got much to talk about, it feels a bit pointless. Our main interests do not cross paths at all - I am into books, cooking, and talking about current affairs / having discussions about each other's opinions. DP can't stand that sort of thing and is massively into sport. I just want us to find one activity that we can do together without the other hating it. No children involved, just busy careers, so worrying about whether it's a lack of compatibility thing or a lack of imagination!

Our actual hobbies are very different. He loves gaming and swimming and I love gardening and baking. We do other 'time killing' things together so we're not just sitting there watching tv all the time.

We like to watch box sets together, currently working our way through 8 seasons of Castle and have The Santa Clarita Diet up next. We do jigsaw puzzles, play board games, go for a walk and talk about our day, go to the cinema. We talk about the house and the cat a lot. It takes work to find common ground.

Another one for 'lots' of tv.
We especially like films and box sets and will be glued to the new game of thrones series.

Cinema.

Bird watching.

Mini breaks - little holidays instead of one big one.

We always eat together and sleep together. (And sex)

Garden together and at the moment we're putting in a new kitchen.

Just looking after each other helps us bond.

Yeah, we talk about the cat a lot.......get a pet?

Football on a Saturday afternoon

? Cycling together.

Or walking ?

What attracted you to each early days?

Me and my dh had similar problems.

He like to build cars and watch ice rd truckers lol

I liked walking and reading.

It took work but in the end I just figured out that I could be interested in him

At the moment he's into motorcycle so i support him with this without riding on one :)

If you both work, you can perhaps afford the odd weekend way as others have said, it's lovely to get away from the weekend chores and see somewhere new. Doesn't have to be expensive. We have fun planning where we'll eat, go for a walk, etc.

I'm glad to know other people are watching lots of tv! It just doesn't feel like quality time, though. We have a couple of cats but I can't say we talk about them a huge deal, and we're too busy to get a dog. A few suggestions here that I'm going to try out and see if we can come to an agreement about any of them.

Indoors we cook, clean, sit around companionably (reading usually, we're not great TV watchers), eat dinner together...
Outside the house we hike, run, camp, do a couple of different volunteering things, go to art/science exhibitions, coffee and cake, eat out, we split driving...

Easier to go through the things we don't share! Work obviously (though we chat about it and sometimes overlap working from home, where we carefully occupy different rooms). I play computer/console games and do most of the structural DIY, while DP watches movies, does gardening and house painting and bin trips.

We were both attracted to each other initially because we valued the same things and were both quite similar personality-wise. We're both quite relaxed and happy with the simple things in life and we have the same goals for the future. We also think the other is a genuinely good and kind person and that's a big deal for us.

We don't have a of mutual friends and each of our social lives have taken a hit lately, so I think it feels like there is more pressure on us to entertain each other. We're both feeling quite bored and fed up outside of work and it's having an impact on our relationship. I, in particular, need to feel like we are having fun together more than we are.

I have an adult son who helps me understand the working of the male mind.

After a hard days work s man loves to come home (eat) and watch his favourite tv shows in the company of the women he loves - as long as she's not bending his ear about something.

Doesn't sound like true happiness to us ladies , but it works.

And once they've wound down and relaxed this is the time to suggest fun trips and activities which you want to do.

We holiday together. And plan those together.

We eat together almost every evening, either in front of the TV if we're both super keen to watch something or round the dining table when we'll chat.

Evenings out / date night. Dinners / theatre / cinema / picnics / film night and a takeaway.

We watch TV together. We try to swim together a few times a week. I go to his sport hobby with him if he can get a spare ticket. Crosswords on the weekend. Glass of wine in the pub. Board games sometimes. And we hang out with other couples.

I'm sure there's more.

What worries me is that you can't find anything to talk to each other about...

It's pretty usual to have some similar interests that you do together and perhaps some separate that you do apart.

But if you literally can't find a single topic of conversation that you both find interesting then you're going to struggle a bit (unless you fill all evening every evening with tv or sport).

On the talking front me and OH talk about all sorts. Update on our days. Planning next holiday. Discussion of what's going on with DSDs. Politics. Sport. I quite like putting MN AIBU scenarios to him and seeing where he lands. We talk about friends and family. We talk about us and our future. Book recommendations. TV series we want to watch. Interesting things we've read in the news. All sorts really.

Love really getting into a box set/series together and geekily comparing theories.

Walk the dogs, cook, watch tv series together, holidays when we can, used to go to the gym together, we recently bought a caravan so go there most weekends and do all of the above just somewhere other than home. X