Activities that you and your DP do together?

[yellowbelliedlilylivered]

Coming to the realisation that DP and I don't have a lot in common and it's really affecting our ability to spend quality time together. Can I ask, what do you do with your DP (on a regular basis, doesn't cost a lot of money, require a huge amount of preparation) that allows you to bond?

After a hard days work s man loves to come home (eat) and watch his favourite tv shows in the company of the women he loves - as long as she's not bending his ear about something.

Christ on a bike.

We do talk but it's more small talk, rehashing the same conversations we've already had, or one of us telling the other person about something (which doesn't really feel like a conversation). We'll ask about each other's day, we'll talk about what we want to do at the weekend, we'll check in about what we want to do in the next year together, and we'll tell each other about our interests. It just doesn't feel like a personal conversation and more so one you could have with anyone.
At the beginning of our relationship, I liked asking him questions about what he liked / thought to try and get to know him more. His typical favourite food / memory / holiday and then he would ask me the same in return but didn't really get the same from it, I don't think. I still ask him where he stands on things in the news or what he thinks is important, but I don't think he really enjoys it. With other people, conversation seems to flow a lot more naturally, and I get that I haven't lived with those people for years but I do feel like we're struggling in that department a bit. Maybe my expectations are too high, I'm not sure.

We have very deep meaningful conversations.
We talk about politics, world affairs, work, friends and family anything really.
Together we do household jobs. Socialise, walk, cinema, watch tv, says out, gigs.
I go to the gym without dp and he does the grocery shopping alone.

I get what you mean about the meaningful conversations thing. I find it quite disconnecting if I don't get beyond small talk.
To be fair people are different about things like that, but could you perhaps start up those conversations that you had at the beginning of your relationship again?
If it's not majorly his thing maybe you could take it in turns. Have some deep and meaningful conversations but perhaps you could take an interest in his stuff too (I think you mentioned sports).
I subject my OH to the deep inquisitive conversations all the time and he indulges me. Quite often it will be a MN moral dilemma, but also things like - If we won the lottery tomorrow what would be the first five things you'd buy, etc etc.
There might be some middle ground too. Would you ever buy a sports team? Which one? If you had to support a different team which one would it be and why? I.e. stuff that is meaningful and character revealing but in areas that he's interested in?

We do watch a lot of tv (both like things like Line of Duty and the Swedish/Danish crime series) but we talk about them too while watching and after.

We both love going to the cinema and take it in turns to choose the film. The only films neither of us will watch are horror. It means we have both seen films that we would never have chosen and have (usually) enjoyed them.

We also love going to the theatre and would go more if it were not so expensive. Again we take turns in choosing what to see,.

We walk the dogs together. We also visit museums, art galleries, castles etc.

He is very interested in cars and planes and although I am not particularly I do visit car shows, museums etc with him. I am far more interested in plants and gardens than he is but, again, he is happy to come with me to gardens, orchid shows etc.

What sport is your DH interested in? Are you not interested in any that he is? Luckily me and DH are both big fans of F1 so that is also something we watch and talk about (lots).

DH has always been interested in World War 2 history and I found it pretty boring to be honest. However we have been on a few holidays in Northern France and visited war museums, cemeteries etc one day and then somewhere I wanted to visit the next day.

I found the war museums much more interesting than I thought I would.

Thanks Once, there's some really good suggestions in there. I do try to do the deep conversation thing but I find it really off putting when I can tell he's just not interested. I really like the idea of the MN moral dilemma as a starting point, and the sports-based middle ground is a great idea too. Definitely things to try!

We share loads of interests

Cinema
Meals out and in
Politics & current affairs
Boxed sets of tv programs
Quiz nights
Board games at home
Jigsaws
Visits & days out to museums, art galleries , historic properties, places of interest , churches castles & cathedrals, zoos , the beach , boat trips , brewery tours ,
Picnics out
Weekends away ( cheap hotel or 2 ) places of interest as above , he plans the tour & I drive
Holidays abroad with lots of trips out ( he works out a tour )
Weekend city breaks (UK) and abroad including interests as above - he works out the approximate itinerary
Coach trips
We both read a lot but often do so in the same room which is nice and companionable, we often discuss what we are reading especially the good bits ! sometimes when we do the car trips we have a talking book that we both enjoy whilst driving .

I am often the one who suggests where we go and he's the one who puts together a " tour " ( we call it that as a joke )

We have both English heritage and national trust membership cards so trips to these are free

We both love anything to do with history , ww1 , ww2 , Cold War , water, boats & ships , aircraft , food & drink so much of what we do is based upon these things too

My work is centred around property and he often comes to have a look and throw around a few ideas too , his work is centred around tourist property management and we often chat about new ideas he has to move things forwards there - we are both very busy and involved in our respective work but when we are first home in the evening we have 20 mins to half hour wind down together over a cup of tea and a catch up on each other's day discussing how things have gone , we always eat together in the evening at the table and discuss whatever the latest topics then later still we will watch a boxed set episode or programme before going to bed and after chat about what we think about the plot

Outside: we geocache together, go to beaches, garden.
Inside: we play board games, crosswords, chat about current affairs/future plans, cuddle up and read next to each other.

We sound similar to you OP, dont ever have any particular in depth conversation. I'm fine with it though, and wouldn't have said that's a sign of a good marriage.
I get my debate and ideas challenged from reading MN. He gets his logic tested by playing games/working on his computer. We have the rest of our lives to learn things about each other, we are learning as things come up, no need to force conversation imo.
As long as you love each other and are involved in each other's lives, it's all good imo.

Things we do together is watch tv (almost every evening). I faff about on MN and he's doing sth on his computer do we don't need to discuss it constantly but do if either of us want to.

Pre children we did couch to 5k together, and geocaching. Both free, no planning needed activities. The walking on geocaching did naturally lead to conversation, which is nice.

My partner and I have nothing in common on paper. I like the outdoors, horses, have a manual job, read lots etc. He likes football, beer, pubs, isn’t very active.
He tells me things about his day, I tell him about mine. We talk about the dogs, we walk then together. We cook together, go on little breaks up to his parents caravan. Have dinner out.
However, there’s a warmth and a love about all our inconsequential chats that I don’t get from anyone else. We make each other laugh all the time. We were having a conversation about Agas this morning that made us laugh so much we were late for work.
We find out about each other as we go along.
I think the main thing is that we enjoy each other’s company whatever we’re doing, even if it’s sitting in silence while he watches football and I look at my phone. I’m still really glad he’s there if you see what I mean.

Gym. That's about it! We have zero childcare so not much alone time. (When the DC are in bed obviously but we're tethered to the house then.) We go to the gym when DC are both in school.

If gym doesn't float your boat something else physical could work. Getting sweaty together can definitely help to keep a spark alive.

Placemarking

Most of our conversations start with "I was reading a thread on Mumsnet"

We go to the cinema once a week (got an unlimited card), go out to eat, talk about what to eat, go for walks (to the supermarket to buy something to eat!), have weekends away at spa hotels and the odd week somewhere swish, where we'll go for walks and eat a lot

Thinking we might have to crack out the board games reading these suggestions. We do sometimes 'read' together, but he listens to audiobooks and I do regular 'eye reading'! so we may be 'reading' the same book at the same time and discuss it.

But mainly a LOT of Netflix, snuggling together on the sofa under a blanket while we watch it and feeling each other up at regular intervals. That's how you make TV interesting!

Walk
Cycle
Go for a drink
Go out for dinner:cinema
Shop
Watch TV
Everything really

We have music nights (either a Fri/Sat once/twice a month). Telly off, bottle of wine, take turns to choose an album, which can in itself spark memories and conversations learning something new about each other as you reminisce about certain albums and that period in your life, but it's generally just catching up as we are so busy day to day.

We go to a lot of gigs but that takes planning with babysitters etc.

We also watch a lot of boxsets. My DH loves sport too and although I'm not overly interested watching it on the telly, actually going to a match is a great day out which I really enjoy.

Reading some of your comments made me realise that you don't have to do things together to have fulfilling conversation. What is important it to take an interest in his or her likes, hobbies, friends, work activities and daily life. That includes talking about your relationship and how it is going, you have that in common. Listening not speaking is the best way to engage.

You also don't need to be in conversation to be enjoying each other's company. Reading together, listening to music just cuddling are all good.

But I concur with basics like a joint box set pick that you can both get into, walks and talks, theatre and cinema, sports and exercise.

OP you will get/are getting lots of responses about what other couples do spontaneously. But it doesn't sound like your relationship is like that.

Sorry if I am wrong but it sounds like you are trying to force time together and for it to be fun. To me that's a recipe for disaster....go make your own fun doing stuff you are really into....at the very least it will give you something to talk to DP about.

Occasional lunch out at weekends.
Sitting on the sofa together relaxing on our computers/ipads etc.
Summer camping weekends.
BBQ if the weather is nice.
Watching the odd box set.

We have hardly any shared interests really. I love the outdoors, long country walks etc - he'd rather get the bus up the hill than walk it (drives me mad!). He's obsessed about anything with an engine and will spend hours tinkering with cars and motorcycles - I don't have a driving licence!
I love cooking and spending time in the kitchen - he'd rather spend the money on a takeaway than cook!
BUT - we both love music and booze - give us a Friday evening some gin/beer and Spotify, and we'll sit for hours listening to tunes. It's one of my favourite things to do. He's introduced me to so much good music, and I've converted him to a fair few 90's indie tunes. Apart from that, our greatest shared interest is simply ignoring each other whilst laying in bed, me reading a book, him on the never ending EBay vehicle search happy in a comfortable, contented silence.

We often joke that we don't have many common interests and our taste in TV programmes doesn't overlap much at all. However, we have similar values and he makes me laugh a lot. We do like just pottering around town together, walks, days out ie English Heritage, the beach and spending time with our lovely son.

We play the guitar together (he’s brilliant, I’m crap )
Allotment.
Walk our dogs.
Read cuddled up.
Chat in the bath.
Play cards.
Art galleries.
Just loll on the bed talking.
Watch Only Connect.
Sex.
Running sometimes, although I’m a long distance plodder and he goes like the clappers in short bursts.
Just talk, talk, talk...

Hi op. We have small kids and work opposite hours lol so when we are together we eat together, cook together, go for walks, bike rides, talk about wok, plans for the future, holidays, day trips to sea side, forest, I read lots of articles which I share with him, music..... And also we watch a movie every now and then. We don't watch TV... I like to put the kids to sleep on a Saturday and we will play music, candles, cider, dance, sex.. if not a good cuddle can fit anywhere :) we also like to dream what we would do if we won the lottery lol

We do Les Mills Bodycombat together (on demand) and he is building up his running at the moment with a view to joining me running sometimes soon.

We watch quiz shows (esp The Chase) and chat about history and politics.

I would hate to be quizzed about my favourite memory or whatever. A lot of people don't think in those terms and it all sounds a bit forced.

We go mountain biking and bouldering together. But not as often as I'd like. He works long hours and also has more friends than I do that he sees at the weekends so it can be weeks between us doing things together.