New boyfriend and money

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Help
Been seeing my new boyfriend a few months
I have a son and he has a son too
He see his son regular incase that's relevant
Anyway we both are similar in that respect
Here's the problem
Other than him being the perfect guy in every way
When he comes to mine which is nearly every time as he lives at home still
I buy all the food so for dinner lunch breakfast etc
When we go out he also lets me pay
Don't get me wrong he's taken me out for a meal and bought dinner but say we are out for the day and I'll say I'll get this he says thanks
I'm all for paying my way but I feel lately and I guess over the 3 months it's been more un even
I'm barely affording to pay my bills so when he stays which is every other weekend for 2 nights and the odd one when lo is at her nans I then worry about water and electricity! I'm far from right but I'm struggling enough and now I'm getting to the point where it's annoying me
So I tried to speak to him about it tonight and all I got was he struggles too, he also worries about money and because I said it's different as I'm a single mum and im comparing it to living at home is not the same he's got defensive
I understand I probably made him feel bad but it wasn't my intention
Am I being mean ?
I feel so upset
Need some advice from the outside x

He doesn't get to accept it! He's binned. Block, block, block! And next time, don't take money out of your child's mouth to have a boyfriend. He needs to be no. 1 in your life. This sponger was literally taking money you could be spending on your kid.

Honestly, raise your bar before you date! This guy has 'LOSER' written all over him!

You take turns or just don’t eat out which is hard he should want to treat you etc
My bf and I take turns but he also treats me to lovely dinners etc just because he’s kind n thoughtful

Even if someone is struggling financially. I would still expect them to bring token snacks, drink and food if they were staying at mine all weekend.
I'd get rid and find a man who does have some level of income and independence away from his Mum.
He's not the perfect guy...

Why doesn’t he get it even now you have brought it up with him? That suggests scrounger not someone just a bit thoughtless.

He's reeling you back in by saying what he knows you want to hear.
He's got you marked down as a soft touch.

He's hoping that by saying a few sweet words, you will carry on supporting his freeloading life style for a while until he meets some other poor mug.
Get rid of him ASAP.

"Try opening up your fucking wallet then too pal"

That's what you say

He wants to be with you forever but what is he going to do about you paying for his food? Has he said?

You really do need to raise your standards
The bar was low for this one

One of my ex's was like this .......

I was STUPID and let him use my credit card to buy his train ticket to work - promised he'd pay me back when he was paid; took me months to get the money back off of him as he "lost his job" then got a "lower paid one" and "had credit card debts" - the final straw was he ate the last of my lucky charms cereal - so I binned him

Found out from social media / girls I knew he'd continued this pattern of behaviour for 2 years after me - moving in with girls, spending their money, sponging off them then leaving them / them kicking him out ....

Not worth your energy, time or emotion

The fact that he doesn't have the decency to offer = no understanding of or respect for your situation

The fact that he got defensive when you pointed your situation/position out = I want to cock lodge in peace why are you bringing this up

The fact he has ran up debts when being subsidised as his parents = financially immature

I've opened up my heart to you blah blah = now I will make you feel guilty by tugging on your heartstrings even though I bring fuck all to the table

All of the above = Not boyfriend material

I would end it. When I met DH he was short of money, mortgage, ex wife, son to support but he never expected me to pay. He would say he couldn’t afford X, maybe we could do Y instead.

And he says stuff like let's just have lunch at yours....
"Great, can you bring the salad and some cooked chicken with you please"

etc

This sounds uncannily similar to my situation!

You could try having less food in when your boyfriend comes round. Or message him when he’s on his way to see you and ask him to pick up x and y.

Lovebombing and future faking.

So glad you're turned off by it instead of being manipulated - well done you.

This stage is meant to be when someone shows the best of themselves so if you're not compatible now then fuck it off!

You sound ace - don't settle for a relationship that takes up your headspace and stresses you out.

End, block and enjoy your freedom :)

Jeezo, who turns up at your house empty handed every time? No bottle of wine? No treats? Has he ever took you on a date?
Tight git get rid!

You sound great. You can do better....

Tight men do not change! I’ve spent 2 years with one waiting, he’s now dumped.

Not even a poxy bottle of wine!

Has he no fuckin shame or manners.

This Peter Pan expects you to mother him. He is financially abusing you by expecting you to house and feed him free of charge, and to cover most of his meals while out. He should have stepped up and insisted on splitting costs from the get-go. Fair’s fair.

His bristling and pushing back when you brought up the issue was appalling. I would send him back to his mother’s for good.

Does he pay maintenance for his child?

Stop paying.
He's a cock lodger. Get rid

Regardless of whether you stay or go, you need to change how you are acting in this situation for any future men too.

If money is tight, why are you going out?
If money is tight for you both, you need to stop going out places neither of you can afford and find something else to do.

Stoppayong for it all.
If you do go out, suggest in advance you go Dutch / pay for your own as money is tight. If you haven't said it and the bill arrives, say"are we going Dutch? " he's either gonna pay, say yes or demand you pay. You can make pretty clear life choices if it's the latter.

If he says" let's eat at yours" say fine but I've got nothing in, can you pop to the shop and get x, y and z. Or that's fine but I assume you're covering dinner? Or fine, but I need to get some stuff. You happy giving me half towards it if I go to the shop?

You have a child, you can't risk not paying the bills to bankroll your bf.

Don't mean to shout, but... DUMP HIM NOW! the bloody leech...

Every extra penny you spend on entertaining your boyfriend is a penny less to spend on your child and you to be your little loving family.
Ltb as we say. He sounds like a selfish bastard spoiled brat.
Who wants one of those?
You can't be that desperate surely.

OP similar situation partner of a year spends more time at mine than I do at his house (he does have his own place).

I cook for us especially if it's a week night. DP will bring wine and often puddings. He always pays when we go out (we go somewhere every weekend). That could be an evening meal, lunch or breakfast it depends what we are doing.

I did say I was conscious he always paid and he pointed out that I shop and cook for him at mine.

We have no plans to move in together yet and the current situation suits us both.

In your situation I'd feel resentful and that's no way to start a relationship.