Advice needed *trigger warning* Rape accusation

[Topbanana15]

Hi all.

Long story short.

Husband was in a long, abusive marriage for a long time. 3 children.
Abuse was probably from both over the years, but the last 10 years, husband mellowed, ex wife didnt and became very abusive, mentally and physically towards my husband..
The split 11 years ago.
Me and Husband have a 4 yr old boy together.
Although the relationship between us and the exwife has been volitile over the years, lots of crossed words etc, things sincr my son came along have been amicible. My son loves her, and although we know she bad mouths us behind our backs, we are (were) pleasant to one another.
Husbands youngest son with his ex, we have a very good relationship with and he is very very close to my son, my son adores him.
But...
An arguement happened last night, and it escalated very very quickly. His son left and 10 mins later, we get a call from the ex wife (we were expecting it) and she was angry.
She got very nasty to me, calling me names and telling to go to her house and she will 'have me'
Obviously, i didnt.
But she threw a massive accuastion and we are not sure how to deal with it.
She said that she was going to the police today to report my husband for raping her when they were married. I almost laughed. If anyone knows my husband, will know he wouldnt have it in him! He has only had me and his ex wife as sexual partners and its overly confident in the bedroom as it is.
I 1000% know that this is untrue and i trust my husband. The fact she has claimed this now and is now going to the police shows (to me) that its been done out of venom.
But this is a serious accusation, one of which we can not ignore. This is a life changing accusation which the repecusions could be so so damaging, whatever the outcome.
My dad suggested us going to the police and speaking to them, im not sure if this is good advice or not..
Can i have your thoughts please as im very worried.

Thank you x

Surely there's nothing to do ATM. Firstly you don't know if or when she'll report to the police. Also, if as you say, your DH is completely innocent because it's never happened, you can't possibly know what she is going to claim or the circumstances of the alleged incident. If your DH is questioned by the police, he'll be entitled to free legal advice and should get advice.

This is a terrible situation for whoever is telling the truth.

You'd struggle to find a solicitor who could do this in any "free" time that they offered for assessment, it's complex. You also may find that no local solicitors offer any free time at all, that's the reality across a lot of the UK.

Your options are therefore to pay to see a solicitor and take legal advice on next steps, which may well be to wait it out but there could be precautionary actions that you could take, or to leave it and see if she does report.

Your husband reporting the allegation first will make no difference to proceedings when she reports, if she does. You also have no idea that she will, she may have been reacting badly to a pressured and emotional situation and have thought better of it in the cold light of day.

Defamation would be a civil case against her, it would be expensive and it doesn't sound like you're in a position to pursue that. It is also unlikely to do much good for their relationship.

You can do little here, you were not around and the allegation isn't against you. Your husband can choose to pay for precautionary advice or see what happens. That's really all there is to it.

Thank you all...

Im not going to keep going over this.. justifying etc..

Clearly, i keep having to repeat myself in what advise im actually asking for and some, actully most, are just not listening so im ending my involvement in the thread as its just making me feel angry and shit.

Thanks to all that have given advice on what i asked. Im going to think on it but may just see where she goes with it first and go from there. Its worrying as i know what damage this could do to us as a family.

But thank you...
Ivana, i think you have a massive chip on your shoulder and quite frank... a complete tit... but hey, what do i know

OP some do free consultations, sometimes over the telephone. It's worth ringing around but at least you have some knowledge of your options, should it come to anything. A solicitor would definitely be able to advise at this stage even if it's just to tell you what to expect or what to do if things went further.

Ivana, i think you have a massive chip on your shoulder and quite frank... a complete tit... but hey, what do i know

I can assure you my shoulders are tit free.

But yeah, when it comes to rape apology, I have a chip on my shoulder.