Partner went mad at me because I told him he should tell the DVLA

[ElektraLOL]

That he has MS. He told me he had it when we first met. The other day he told me that he won't tell the DVLA he has it because it will affect his insurance. He generally doesn't tell anyone he has it. I told him he should tell the DVLA because otherwise he could get into trouble if he were to have an accident.

He started telling me to shut up and said I'm threatening him! I'm not - I'm just telling him to cover himself. He then said that he doesn't have it because he doesn't have an official diagnosis. So why tell me he has it then?

No we don't live together. Honestly so much has gone on. It's like he's two completely different people. He can be really nice and kind and then there's this other side who makes no sense at all and gets angry with me for imaginary stuff that isn't my fault.

And the final drip... you don't even live together!!

@Bookworm4 please stop commenting on my thread if you just want to be horrible. You don't have to click on it you know 🙄

What difference does it make whether we live together or not? At no point have I said we do.

You don't live together?
Righty ho then.

Why is it relevant whether we live together or not??

Because it's damn sight easier to free yourself of somebody you aren't dependent upon for having a roof over your head, that's why.

You just tell them it's over and then don't answer their calls, texts, emails or the door if they turn up.

I have been very busy at work today so I did not see messages advising 'pack a bag'

Yes Mitz I realise that. Of course it is easier to break up but he does have a habit of turning up at my work with profuse apologies.

He was tired, he was confused. He was stressed from work etc

Because he's not told his insurance about the MS, that's why it invalidates it
It invalidates it because the illnesses such as that affect the insurance companies assesment of the risk a driver poses. It may not stop them insuring him but it will affect his premium.
OP does he have any symptoms of MS. It is a complex disease and does not lend itself to self diagnosis. If a hospital had found it they would certainly monitor it.

At which point you refuse to see him and get security to escort him from the premises.

Because he's an ex. Quite possibly a mentally and physically ill ex who is hallucinating/delusional/verbally aggressive, but an ex, nonetheless.

There is NO excuse for screaming at you, especially when he's going on about fucking spirits.

OP
I've said nothing different from anyone else, you're the one clinging onto a nasty arsed man for no reason. 🙄

I know @Bookworm4 I really do. It frustrates me more than anyone. Unfortunately my Aspergers makes me kind of a pushover.

Don't blame the Aspergers.

You are an adult. You can text him to dump him. When he gives you a list of excuses for why it was OK for him to behave badly you can reply "I am not happy in this relationship. It is over."

Stop fooling yourself with him having a split personality. His personality is that he lashes out at you when he feels stress. You don't have to tolerate that.

What's really stopping you from dumping him? What are you afraid of? Why is saying no to him so unthinkable?

Elektra

How did you meet this individual?.

He targeted you deliberately and also because of your own low self esteem. Your own ideas on romance may also have actually come from unreliable sources and that too has made you easier for someone like this man to target.

You and this man should not be together because he is abusive towards you. You should not be treated so badly by anyone let alone a boyfriend.

There are many good quality resources online on the subject of Asperger’s syndrome and relationships and reading more yourself about this could help you a lot.

Thanks - you are right. I have blocked him. I think you've hit the nail on the head - if he feels happy everything's ok and he turns on me if he's stressed.

I met him at work. In one of my previous jobs.

Keep him blocked. Start your recovery.

Can your work colleagues help? Would they be prepared to ban him from the building, for instance, and warn you if he's lurking outside?

I work in a spa and what he tends to do is wait outside in the car park

Does the spa have any security?

Turn immediately round, go back to the spa and call the police if you see him there, then. Tell them he's delusional, aggressive and you dumped him because of it.

Talk to your manager and advise that your abusive ex-boyfriend may be waiting for you in the parking lot. That you need an escort to your vehicle to remain safe. They will work it out for you.

Please, report him to his GP and to the DVLA. He should not be driving for work daily let alone socially. It is an accident waiting to happen.

Stick with the break up. Don’t go back! You deserve someone who treats you with love and kindness. That doesn’t treat your autism like it’s the worst thing ever. It’s not, it’s just part of who you are. Love you, all of you or don’t be with you.

You've made a very sensible decision OP. If ever in doubt, make a list of all the negatives about him/the relationship that you've described here and put it on your kitchen cupboard/have a photo of it on your phone. Then when he tells you explains that you've got it all wrong because of your Aspergers, you'll have a reminder that no, actually, you haven't and that he's cynically exploiting your condition to keep you in a relationship that you don't want to be in. In fact that's another negative for the list, isn't it.

Stay strong

He's now emailed me to say he wants to discuss what happened. I'm not going to be with him any more. This latest episode was even worse than the last.

This thread has helped me understand what is actually going on in the relationship because sometimes I find that hard.

Don't meet him. Block him. Have you responded?