Partner went mad at me because I told him he should tell the DVLA

[ElektraLOL]

That he has MS. He told me he had it when we first met. The other day he told me that he won't tell the DVLA he has it because it will affect his insurance. He generally doesn't tell anyone he has it. I told him he should tell the DVLA because otherwise he could get into trouble if he were to have an accident.

He started telling me to shut up and said I'm threatening him! I'm not - I'm just telling him to cover himself. He then said that he doesn't have it because he doesn't have an official diagnosis. So why tell me he has it then?

Driving is part of his job

Of course it affects his insurance - it invalidates it!

Why?

@breadzeb because he's not told his insurance about the MS, that's why it invalidates it.

He's an idiot. A selfish idiot.

If he does have MS that affects his vision and control (dropping things, gripping could impact his ability to stay in control of a car) then he is being selfish and irresponsible.

If his medical records say he has MS, then he should declare it. It doesn't have to impact your insurance premiums if it's under control (although his doesn't sound controlled) - eg every 3 years many people in insulin have to confirm that they're hypo aware, not having uncontrolled/unexpected hypos etc. If they confirm that, the insurance companies are happy.

How would you feel if he had an accident and hurt/killed someone as a result of this? Do you want to be with someone so reckless?

because he's not told his insurance about the MS, that's why it invalidates it

You haven't actually said why. You have just said it does.

You are obliged to disclose to your insured any information that may be pertinent. That includes medical information. Failure to disclose that information may render your policy null and void.

And it may also make it impossible to get insurance in the future

Yes, his insurance is invalid. He is being very very selfish. If he hits anyone they can take every penny and asset he has.

MS is a condition that must be declared to the DVLA

From the confused.com website

His insurance isn't invalid simply because people think it should be. Yes he should notify the DVLA, who will make the judgement regarding his fitness to drive. He also needs to tel his insurance company. The idea that everything and anything invalidates insurance though is ridiculous. In the event of an accident the insurer would need to prove the accident was as a result of the MS before they could even consider rendering it invalid. Insurance companies don't call 'invalid' anywhere near as much as Mumsnet seem to think!

My concern would be that I could not get a straight answer out of my partner. Not a good way to live!

Have you posted about this before? It sounds familiar.
If driving is his job then then he has lied by omission to his employer, his insurers and the DVLA.
If he drives for his work, he needs specific extra insurance cover for that.
He could potentially lose his job.
I know 2 people seriously injured by uninsured drivers.
One is permanently disabled, the other died. He was 18 years old.
Those drivers are dispicable scum IMO.
Why are you with this man?

If he tells his insurers his insurance will be valid, subject to medical advice.
If he doesn't disclose a medical condition that could affect his driving, his insurance is invalid.
I have just gone through this process and the rules are very clear.

I have MS. Anyone who has MS officially diagnosed is required to tell the DVLA. I have to reapply for my license every three years. My consultant sends a letter confirming I am fit to drive and it all goes through no problem. I am also required to tell my insurance company. As far as I can tell, it hasn’t made any difference to my premiums (that would be disability discrimination).

MS is recognised in law as a disability and so there are various protections in place as far as employment and other types of potential discrimination are concerned. There is also lots of support and people to talk to to help choose what, if any, medication (including disease modifying drugs) that may help him.

Whilst it is understandable to find it difficult to talk about, he is only doing himself a disservice trying to avoid it – assuming that he does indeed have MS.

If he doesn't disclose a medical condition that could affect his driving, his insurance is invalid.

It could be invalid.

I have just gone through this process and the rules are very clear.

The rules surrounding insurance claims when a medical condition has not been notified as as clear as mud. You case may have been crystal, but there are far too many variables.

I agree he's being selfish and his attitude and telling me to shut up suggests he's unreasonable to say the least. My mum says he's completely wrong for me. Maybe I should listen.

@beeyourself I showed him the same link you posted and he shouted that I was threatening to report him to the police!

He's lying.

I have MS and know a lot of people that do.

1. You do have to tell the DVLA about MS
2. Bullshit, if he doesn't have an 'official' diagnosis
3. About the lesions. I know people with 3-4 that are in wheelchairs, others that have many who are walking around.

HE.IS.LYING

Hang on.
How long have you been with him? He told you he had MS when you met, you’ve seen a letter saying he has lesions in his brain -which could be other causes & not MS btw-he’s ridiculously defensive, has time off work but won’t claim anything and
He does have symptoms but he ignores them. It affects his vision and he can be clumsy and drop things but it doesn't affect his walking. He gets very tired.The doctor apparently said years ago that he should try meds and he said no. I think he does have relapses and during those times he has to be off work due to exhaustion. But if he has a relapse he blames it on ridiculous things like it must be a spirit in his house
Sorry, but I doubt it’s MS.
Any patients I see in the course of my work who have MS take all the help they can get.

If he has MS and his consultant considers him unfit to drive, then the consultant has an obligation to advise the DVLA directly.
I have a life limiting neurological condition, and my licence was revoked as my consultant wrote directly to the DVLA when I was unwell.
Never heard of needing 12 lesions to be confirmed with MS.
Something not right there at all.
Talk of spirits though, is concerning. Is it possible that he is hiding some kind of severe mental health diagnosis which carries a lot of stigma?

Seriously OP, I would leave him.

Then I would report him to the DVLA - they can investigate if he's telling the truth or not.

'MS is recognised in law as a disability and so there are various protections in place as far as employment and other types of potential discrimination are concerned'

I told him this and he said MS is not a disability.

I know that I'm now going to be told I'm drip feeding even more, but basically I think he is prejudiced about disability so he wants to pretend he doesn't have one. I myself have Aspergers and he is not kind about it. He complains that I need to be told what he wants instead of me just knowing from body language etc. He complains that I get stuck on one topic of conversation. I have said to him that we are not compatible. But if I break up with him that's wrong too. Sometimes I think I love him if we've had a nice weekend together but I can realistically see that we are a bad match.,

He sounds like a bit of a bully tbh. I think you need to write down the things he does/says to show yourself how unpleasant he is, to give you the strength to leave.

The odd nice day/weekend doesn't make up for this.

I believe your partner does have MS. I too have the condition but it was 10 years before I was officially diagnosed. (I was told that it was a possibility initially but you do not get a diagnosis until after they confirm a 2nd “episode”). Therefore without a diagnosis he cannot report it to the DVLA/insurance. It seems that the type of your partners MS is similar to mine where he can go for periods of time without symptoms. I too was in denial for many years but please tell him that steroids taken during the time of a relapse almost halts the condition in its tracks. I’m different in that my sight is not affected but my walking is. It is scarey but he can live a normal/better life with medication - he’ll be less exhausted for one thing. With regards to insurance, a simple phone call telling them you have the condition does not stop you from driving but as I said, he won’t be diagnosed until he is tested for a 2nd time. I wish him well.

Maybe he does have a mental health problem. He told me his dad also had MS. If those of you who have it think it seems unlikely then I believe what you say.

At one point though, he was getting symptoms which he said felt like he was being strangled and my uncle whose wife had MS said this sounds like a relapse.