I’ve read so many of these on here but never thought I’d be writing one myself. On Friday I caught my boyfriend of three years texting another woman. The content of the texts was innocent enough but he was doing it in secret, on his old phone. When I caught him he told me he had wanted to leave me for a month but didn’t know how to tell me. This has come completely out of the blue. There was no sign that he was unhappy. We were trying for a baby, (in fact the last time we had sex he asked me shouldn’t we be doing it more than once a day, to increase our chances). Why would you try for a baby with someone you secretly wanted to leave?
I left my phone with my sister that night. The next day I had 54 messages: all variants on ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, let’s work it out’. I cracked and text him back but when I did, I got the feeling he wasn’t actually that interested in talking to me. So I blocked him. Two days later he emailed me saying he knew I’d blocked him but he needed to see me. I said I didn’t want to and asked him what it was he wanted to say. He told me he’d changed his mind again and didn’t want me back after all. I can’t see the point of this, given that we had already broken up. It’s not as if I was pestering him. It feels like he is deliberately trying to hurt me.
I worked at his business, so I am now out of a job. I am 38 next week so this was definitely my last chance to have children. I adored him. I never thought he would do this. No one did. Everyone I have told is gobsmacked. We had a great relationship. He was my best friend. I cannot understand why he’s done this or his behaviour since. Sorry for the essay and thanks if you’re still reading.