hi
im going through hoops over an incident that happened with my partner...i dont know if its me being ultra sensitive (5 years out of an abusive relationship of 18 years) or if im right to feel this way...hence the need to talk...
so long story short...we have been seeing each other for 2 and half years...neither of us spring chickens..late 40's..
had friends around for dinner (his friends) and we were all sat down ...we were passing around dishes etc...helping ourselves...my partners not very adventurous eating wise and id made a side dish i thought he'd like ..asked him.. he said no..so asked again..just really wanted him to try it...well the look he gave me and the venom in his voice just took the wind out of me...he'd looked at me as if i was dirt...his friends were both shocked and there was this stunned silence...just interrupted by my partner eating...
everyone (his friends) quickly moved onto another subject...quickly said something to break the silence...
i felt absolutely mortified..i felt like id been thumped in the stomach..winded...humiliated
why on earth was so wrong with asking someone if they wanted a side dish...did it really warrant such a reaction..???
it sounds silly now ..writing this down...but its completely taken over my head...i dont know if im over reacting from my previous experiences (which he's fully aware of) or if im justified to feel so hurt..
later that evening i stopped him in the kitchen and i said 'you really hurt me the way you spoke to me tonight'..he instantly knew what i was referring to and said..'we'll talk later'
well i waited and waited...
through sunday...by monday afternoon i was about to blow...
so i brought it up...initially he tried all the usual things...'what about saturday night'....'i spoke to him wrong first'...'i'm stressed at work'...'dont shout at me it makes all your points invalid'...etc etc ..eventually he said sorry..just one word..sorry..and that was it..nothing more mentioned...
i know its not healthy to keep going over stuff but i dont feel that one sorry word is enough to counteract the hurt and humiliation i felt that night..and i cant get over it....he's away at the minute and its just going round and round in my head...
is it me??