I just need a little clarification I suppose. Fully expecting to get some home truths here or to be told I am being unreasonable for some of this but here I go.
I have been with my DP 4 years on and off. The first year of the relationship was pretty rocky and I should have ended it there. He would constantly pick at me. Everything I said or did was wrong. Every argument was my fault. All of my personality traits such as having quite bad social anxiety and memory problems made me weird or stupid in his eyes. Eventually he realised how damaging this behaviour was and things lessened quite a lot.
However to this day there are still things that happen that in the back of my mind I know should not happen in a normal loving relationship. We are saving for a house (both in late 20s but living with parents currently) and due to him finding out last year that I was in more debt than he knew about, he constantly asks to check my bank account and savings to make sure I am sticking to our plan. When he did find out about the debt (not much, just a few more hundred on my credit card than he expected) the stress of the whole blow up hospitalised me. I am type one diabetic and struggled to eat for a week which made me very ill.
He also comments on my weight a lot and tells me to lose weight often. I am size 14-16 and weigh around 12.5st so not that huge. Just bigger than when he met me.
Up until the weekend just gone we had been in quite a good place I guess and had been getting on well. Now, for context I have a condition called hyperhydrosis which causes overactive sweat glands and can be a very embarrassing and uncomfortable condition for me. No grown woman wants to be sweating her arse off at the smallest of things. I am on medication for it but he has been bugging me for ages to get on a higher dosage as he sometimes comments that I smell. Which is a huge confidence knocker for me. I haven't booked an appointment with my specialist yet simply because I haven't had the time. I work long hours and shifts. We went to an event in London on Saturday night and for the last couple of hours he was very off with me and hardly spoke which ruined the night for me. On the way home I asked him what was up and he said that I smelled for most of the night and that I had ruined the night completely because of my inability and laziness to book an appointment with my specialist. If he had told me this earlier on in the night I could have rectified it but instead let me sitting there for ages smelling. I can never smell it that much but apparently he can. I felt humiliated.
I don't know what I'm asking here. I guess I just needed to vent a little. I will take on board any criticism or advice you have.