37 weeks and my boyfriend just said

[brexitisamare]

He will "smash my face in".

He's playing a game online downstairs, fine. But he was screaming at it and it woke me up so I text him asking him to please keep it down.

He text me back telling me to "fuck off".

So I turned the WiFi off (it's in our bedroom). Quite childish of me now I look back but I was absolutely furious at being woken up and told to fuck off when I hadn't actually done anything wrong.

He came banging up the stairs, punched the bedroom door and said "if you ever do that again I will smash this whole house up and I'll smash your face in".

And he turned it back on, slammed the door, said something about wishing we weren't having our baby and now he's back downstairs playing whatever he's playing and I'm sat in bed shaking.

I realise my behaviour here was a bit childish but surely nothing warrants that? I don't think he will come back up or do anything providing I don't touch the internet (I'm not going to move now at all).

He's quite a calm person and I guess I've seen him angry before but nothing like this and he's never threatened me before. I cannot believe that's just happened. I don't even know why I'm posting I just don't know what to do now I'm sat here shaking and trying to calm myself down as I am heavily pregnant with this horrible mans child.

I can't leave because I don't have anywhere to go at this hour and to be honest the thought of having to go downstairs right now petrifies me.

I guess I just need a handhold here 😞

Did you tell the hospital / 111 that you're effectively there on your own? They might tell you to come in sooner if they realise you don't have help at hand.

Look after yourself op!

Look after yourself sweetheart. I hope you’re ok. Bit concerned about your health you poor thing

You poor thing , statistically DV is most likely to start in pregnancy and he is showing you his true colours. You sound very sensible so I'm sure you don't need telling to leave , but I didn't and that was just the start, please plan tomorrow. I know money and housing is going to be a concern but your safety and your daughters safety is a much bigger priority.

When my ex showed his true colors, I was sick for days, and having panic attacks as I was so stressed at my world falling apart.

Make a plan and don't let on what you are doing.

If possible, get all documents, bills, pay slips, passport and such together.

After 10 years I was left with no money, no transportation, and ex took house and mobiles and turned off wifi to keep me from getting help.

I started with Citizens advice to find out what I was entitled to.

I was advised to file a police report documenting physical, emotional, financial abuse and threats of abuse. I felt like I was making more of things but was so glad that I documented it. He was arrested and required to leave the home and ultimately received a non molestation order and he had to leave the house for 1 year.

There is so much more services you can access or access more quickly if you are dealing with domestic abuse.

I was given food vouchers, emergency funds, access to domestic abuse counselling, information on what he could and couldn't do regarding him coming and going in the house and slamming doors, threatening and such. I was given an emergency appointment with a legal aid solicitor to file an for an emergency hearing to protect me from him and forcing him out of the home for my safety.

There is so much help out there but it's overwhelming and I'm in no doubt this is extremely stressful for you and the baby.

As tough as this is, when you are alone without having to worry about what you do or say, it will give you space to make life decisions.

You do not have to have him or anyone you don't want at the hospital and again, if you document the abuse, it can be ordered by the courts that he isn't allowed to contact you or any 3rd party contact.

Remember, they are wonderful until they aren't.

Don't think for one second that you are to blame for turning off the Wifi. If he reacts like this to you asking for consideration, then I guarantee now that he's shown you what he really is, you don't want to see what else he will say or do.

I think you should go in ☹️ get checked, just not worth the risk. Please go. The worst they can say is 'you're fine, time to go home'

By the way, I’ve just done some internet trawling about pre-eclampsia and stomach pain.

Most websites list a ‘abdominal pain’ as a symptom. That is a general abdo pain, rather than a telling us a specific area. This includes the NHS website.

Tommy’s says pain at the top of your abdo, just under your ribs.

Then a few websites such as the Mayo clinic specifically say it’s in the upper right hand quadrant of your stomach.

No website that I’ve found states that it’s only in the centre or that pain should be ruled out unless it’s in the centre, which makes me worry about the person you got on the last call. They don’t sound very credible in this respect.

Can you call back and ask to speak to a doctor/ senior midwife? If you spoke to a call centre handler you could get bad information.

On the other hand I don’t want you to panic! It’s so hard isn’t it, to tread a line between looking after yourself well but not panicking. Humm. Only you know how you’re feeling. But don’t put off getting checked out if that’s what you need to do!

When it comes down to it, it’s better to be bored in hospital than very poorly and without help at home.

I had pre eclampsia OP.

Luckily whenit got really bad I was already in hospital.

They nearly tried to fob me off 'If it would make you feel better we will bring you in for observations' and sure enough blood pressure too high, +++ protein in urine, lethargy and confusion.

Please get yourself seen to.

Don't worry about him. Even his darling family can't stick up for him not helping his ill partner so just don't let that be your focus now.

Keep baby and yourself at only priority.

Can you phone labour ward and tell them what's going on - pain, vomiting etc. i think you should talk to midwife just in case you need to be checked over.

Please go to hospital if you can. I’ve had pre-eclampsia/HELLP syndrome and if it is that then it’s probable you won’t be in a fit state to get yourself there in 3 hours and your partner doesn’t sound like he’d be reliable help in an emergency. I was also told to stay at home as I ‘probably had a stomach bug’.

If you get there and everything is ok then you’re in a safe space and if you want to you can talk to a midwife about what’s been happening.

I also think you should go get yourself checked out. It seems to have come on suddenly, you could decline rapidly and your 'd'p wouldn't have a clue. Please go get checked over and if it's nothing at least you can go to sleep tonight without worrying about that.

If you wanted to you could also talk to one of the midwives there about what's been going on at home and they will give you extra support/reassurance.

You need to go to the hospital. Your boyfriend isn’t going to be around to monitor you and he’s prone to anger so could make things worse.

I am so worried about you OP.
Go to the hospital and explain your symptoms and the fact that your partner is abusive and you’re hoping to leave him as soon as you can.

Sending you love.

@AhhhHereItGoes sorry to ask but what were your symptoms? I've been seeing stars every so often for the past couple of days and honestly thought nothing of it (feel stupid now!) and just seem that blurred vision is a symptom so I am getting quite concerned now to be honest.

I now also have a bad headache but that might be from the stress tbh, or I'm just imagining things now as I'm reading into it!

I don't know if I should just call back and insist they let me come in, I would rather waste a journey than wish I had gone in after it being too late!

You seriously need to go jn9

Just read the entire thread, and you are being amazingly brave. I generally don't post but please get yourself to hospital - they won't turn you away with those symptoms. Is there a friendly neighbour who could drive you?
I'm a single parent - had my child on my own nearly 20yrs ago after leaving my abusive ex whilst pregnant. You can do it, but right now just get your health sorted as those symptoms don't sound good. Sending hugs for you and your little girl.

I can't help thinking hospital would be a good place for you to be now OP, in every way possible. I'm as concerned as everyone else about your health but it would also give you the chance to speak to people who can help about the situation with your partner. You would be safe and looked after there, two things you certainly don't seem to be at home. Please go

Please go. Genuinely worried for you here. I’m relieved that you posted again. Can you get an Uber and just go? I wouldn’t even ask Prince Charming downstairs.

GET A TAXI. GO. PLEASE

Pack a bag, get a taxi. You're high risk and displaying symptoms. If you can, get yourself to a big hospital where they're more clued up (if your midwife's knowledge is anything to go by).

Please don't take any chances.

brexitisamare please, just go!

You have almost ALL the symptoms of pre-eclampsia. You are high risk.

Please, stop messing around now and go in. Now. This is an emergency.

Bag, taxi, now

Please, your symptoms do not sound good. Please, be safe

I've had Pre eclampsia and yes vision disturbances are a red flag along with the headache, abdo pain, breathlessness and vomiting! If it is Pre eclampsia it won't be a case of you wishing you had gone it because you won't be here to regret it! Sorry to be blunt but you do realise it can be fatal?! Go to hospital now. Don't wait for a phone call just go in now, or call an ambulance.

I've rang them again and insisted I'm coming in and they were fine about it. My hospital bag is in my car outside so I've ordered myself a taxi and if he does even ask where I'm going I'll just say a friends, he won't care and I doubt he will even ask to be honest.

I can grab my bag out of the car and I'm going to call my mum and sister when I'm in the taxi but I think they'll be asleep to be honest. I'm ok on my own though for now. Don't feel too scared, just keen to rule out anything bad.

I'll keep you all informed as much as I can, please wish me luck and thank you again for your help. I'd never have known how serious these symptoms could be.

If your still there OP for christ sakes get a taxi or call 999 to get you to hospital this all sounds in urgent need to medical help please just go and do it now!

I'm so please to hear it. Please don't let them fob you off, and make sure you tell them about all your symptoms. Even if you think they're nothing.

The visual disturbances you're describing are possible signs of severe pre-eclampsia, so you're absolutely doing the right thing to bet it checked out.