Drunken kiss and I’m struggling with the guilt..

[Feelingterrib]

Last weekend I had a work night out with colleagues, I hardly drink but on the night I got abit carried away and ended up very drunk. Ended up back at an after party with everyone. As I was leaving I went to say bye to my colleague (male) and we kissed and it was a proper snog and when I pulled away I never really understood how it had happened! I know it sounds ridiculous not knowing how it happened but it literally happened out of nowhere

I am in a relationship and have been for 8 years and I love my partner so much and I’ve been really upset that I could have done this to him

It hasn’t been awkward at work and I don’t even know if he remembers the kiss. I don’t find my colleague attractive or see him in this way at all!

I don’t know what to do as me and my partner have had a rocky few years with stressful things (not cheating or anything like that) and we are finally back on track and telling him would set us back.

Any advice please? This guilt is a horrible feeling

Yes I would, and if my P had a drunken kiss on a night out that was a one off and immediately regretted I would rather they sucked up their fuckery, guilt and grief by themselves rather than unloading it onto me.

I suppose it also depends on your own conscience , I can only give a personal opinion based on what I'd do m-I couldn't keep a secret like that from someone I loved

It was only a brief drunken snog, stop beating yourself up about something which is really nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I wouldn’t see any point in telling him unless he considers it cheating in which case you have a moral obligation to tell him. If my husband did that I would rather not know because it would just make me a bit upset for a day or two for no reason. If I subsequently found out I could always ask him if if needed clarification. In future don’t get drunk. I also get a bit...well I just get overly horny I supppse, when drunk so I just don’t get drunk now to avoid something like this happening.

I guess is depends on your view of fidelity and honesty. For me relationships have to be built on complete trust; even if that involves a hard truth. A kiss is unfaithfulness regardless of drunk or not. To dismiss it as because you were drunk suggests a total lack of self control and integrity p.
In my book, far, far better to tell the truth. I could maybe forgive that. I couldn’t forgive the dishonesty.

Oh god, don't tell him. Forget about it.

Do not tell him. Not worth the fall out. The feeling will pass, promise.

I think you're on a slippery slope. Drunk and 'it just happened' almost never doesn't have underlying relationship or personal issues.

I did this, I told him, it led to huge jealousy issued and caused the end of our relationship, I sometimes wish i had kept it a secret, but I’m also pleased that it showed me his true character.

No matter what anyone else thinks, go with what you feel is right for you.

Don't tell him. For something this minor it will make you feel better and him feel worse for no reason. You had no intention to slip up and it was in no way premeditated.

If you had shagged him it would be very different situation. And go teetotal when out with colleagues from now on.

Don't tell him.
I wouldn't want to know because I would always second guess everything.
Just suck it up deal with your shit and never get that drunk again because you can't be trusted. Learn from it.

Thank you for the replies. I feel so much better having spoken about it as I haven’t told anyone.

My partner can be abit paranoid so I think telling him this would ultimately end the relationship. He isn’t paranoid from anything I’ve done, his previous relationships weren’t the greatest.

Another one for don’t tell him.

You bitterly regret it and it was a stupid one off kiss. The impact on your relationship will be massive, if my Dh told me this I know I’d never forget it and I’d torture myself and him over it

There is no benefit in telling him. It was a kiss. Just relax and move on.

if my P had a drunken kiss on a night out that was a one off and immediately regretted I would rather they sucked up their fuckery, guilt and grief by themselves rather than unloading it onto me

That's how I'd feel, if there was genuinely no attraction or anything before. If my DH said this to me, I'd immediately assume no smoke without fire, and be worried all the time about him at work.

But really do have a think about why. Do you secretly have a bit of a crush. Could you subconsciously want a way out, or not be quite as 'on track' as you'd like to believe?

I sometimes wish i had kept it a secret, but I’m also pleased that it showed me his true character

And yours!!

Do not tell him. Plough your energy into your relationship and forget what happened.

I wouldn't tell him either. It won't feel do bad invalid few weeks. The guilt is the price you pay. You have clearly learnt a big lesson and thankfully it was only a kiss!!!