WWYD - DH and I argument. Dinner Party tonight

[StellaRae]

Need urgent advice. DH and I had massive argument last night which continued this morning. This is off the back of weeks of bickering and arguing. In a nutshell, things not good.

We are supposed to be going to friends for dinner this evening. Us, another couple and the hosts. DH said I should decide whether we go or not and he's not happy either way WTF?!

Hate to let people down but equally don't want to ruin it by tension or even argument after a few drinks.

If you can't both clear the air

I'd cancel

Thanks for your reply. I think you're right.
Going to give it an hour and see how it goes. Tbh don't see how we will be up for socialising even if we do clear the air bit let's see

Make up and go.

Life is far too short to fuck about arguing.

If you think the tension would show then I wouldn't go xx

can't you go on your own.

I'd be really annoyed if people cancelled on me on the day because they were bickering although if you're going to turn up with a bad atmosphere it might be for the best, don't expect your friends to be impressed though.

Don't go if there's going to be resentment on either 'side' hanging in the air.

To the friends what's happened and ask them to make the decision. Do they want you to go or would they prefer be you to cancel? Then at least if you turn up grumpy, they'll know why.

I personally think it would be unfair to cancel on the day as they will have bought everything already. Put on a happy face for a couple of hours.

Tell the friends

God, suck it up and go. Incredibly rude not to. You don't have to be all over each other when on other's company anyway.

Go on best behaviour but don't drink

Unless you’re on the verge of splitting up, go.

It’s rude not to, the hosts have probably already gone to great effort, and would be looking forward to it.

Sort things out, get on with your day and act like an adult. You might have a bloody good time.

No don’t spoil the atmosphere. And no, don’t tell friends it’s because you’re arguing. That will piss them off because it sounds petty... unless you know your marriage is over and you will be divorcing. Then you can say... “I’m sorry... we are not in a good place in our relationship at the moment and we’re even talking about separation... we would poison the atmosphere, the way we are behaving towards one another right now.”

Unless you think there’s a good chance it’ll end your relationship, put a face on it and crack on

Cancel.Its horrible and awkward having to share space with a bickering couple. Do them a favour and tell them honestly why you are cancelling. Its not the hosts fault and human nature may make them feel somehow to blame. Plus it gives the other couples a sense of superiority that tonight only they have the perfect relationship.

Go by yourself, tell him to stay at home as he has asked you to make the decision

I wouldn't cancel this late stage but it depends on whether both of you can put aside your grievances for a few hours without tension.

Tbh it sounds as if you both need a time out, why is this argument lasting so long?

Just go, chat to friends and avoid each other there/make sure you’re sat at opposite ends of the table that’s what we do

Is it something that can be resolved with an apology from you both? Like a PP said life’s too short, make up and go. A night amongst friends might do you both good.

And ideally neither of you have too much to drink! Otherwise it could get messy.

Go on best behaviour but don't drink

This ^

Don’t you think you might benefit from being put into another place with different conversation? It might help diffuse and move you both into a new thinking space? It is quite a big deal to cancel on the day.

Put your game faces on, don’t drink and enjoy it. By the end of the evening you both will probably be on normal speaking terms again.

At least you're not hosting!

Decide and tell the hosts pronto though, to save them from wasting fresh ingredients.

Very unfair to cancel on the day.

Your options aren't to just cancel or go with an atmosphere. You take he third option of behaving like adults and either resolve your argument first or suck it up, put a smile on, don't drink and have a nice night with friends.