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Original poster

Met twice, he just text saying...

102 replies

Hollyboat · 21/03/2019 12:46

I posted recently about someone I was dating. This is someone new...onto the next. I’m getting tired of it.

New man, met twice. Had good conversation, kissed on the second date. Had a few flirty messages in between dates, sometimes leading into sex talk (nothing extreme just asking favourite position, that sort of thing and that we fancied each other). Sounds a bit teenage writing it down but felt ok in the moment!

Today I had a text saying ‘I had an incredible dream of us having sex.’

Am I being too sensitive to think that’s not appropriate?! Not sure why I feel strange about it but I am known to overthink things!!!

OP posts:
Undertheseainabot · 21/03/2019 13:30

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Undertheseainabot · 21/03/2019 13:31

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EntirelyAnonymised · 21/03/2019 13:31

As with others, it isn’t out of the blue.

FookMeFookYou · 21/03/2019 13:33

Text him back and say "you think that was incredible, I'll blow your mind IRL baby oi oiiiiiiii" 😁 🤔😏 sorry

BibbityBobbityEars · 21/03/2019 13:36

Can’t see the problem!

BridlingtonSand · 21/03/2019 13:36

I have a mantra. Ditch the dirty dudes. Cheapskates can call a sex line.

A bit harsh on the OP!

Original poster
Hollyboat · 21/03/2019 13:39

I suppose it is a usual follow on! Does this mean it’s doomed to be causal?! I like him!

OP posts:
WhateverName2 · 21/03/2019 13:42

So get to know him before you tell him your favorite sex positions??

sagradafamiliar · 21/03/2019 13:42

He's probably trying to instigate another sex chat or a bit of sexting. Not for me this early but you've already taken part so he thinks it will continue.

Haffiana · 21/03/2019 13:45

Unless you simply want to fuck him, why o why did you think it was a good idea to have sex chat?

When did women lose their self respect and think it normal to do so?

MissConductUS · 21/03/2019 13:48

I don't think it was inappropriate given the history, just flirty.

Does this mean it’s doomed to be causal?! I like him!

A long time ago I asked a guy out on match.com. His profile looked awesome so I swore to myself that there would be absolutely no sex on our first date. We had sex. I felt like I had made a huge mistake, as he was great and I really fancied a serious relationship with him. Sad

We've been married almost 22 years, have two great kids and he's been a lovely husband and father. All is not lost. Smile

BridlingtonSand · 21/03/2019 13:53

Does this mean it’s doomed to be causal?! I like him!

I don't think so, perhaps you're just two people who like sex early in a relationship? Doesn't mean it will be casual. Personally, I wouldn't be texting someone I'd just met about sex.

ImMeantToBeWorking · 21/03/2019 13:53

Telling someone that you dreamed about having sex with them, after talking about sex with them is not weird at all, I don't think. BUT if you aren't ready just text back saying something like "It will only be in your dreams for the next while Wink"

Orangeslemon24 · 21/03/2019 13:56

Sorry he doesn't respect you, is definitely not trying to impress you and if you want a relationship with this guy forget it.
He's up for one thing and if you're of the same mindset it shouldn't bother you.

Clearly its bothered you because you've posted about it!

ImMeantToBeWorking · 21/03/2019 13:57

My current DP was originally a one night stand, then we met for casual sex. We are together 4 years now and madly in love.

Another ex was a one night stand who I had to meet to give him back his jacket. We went out for 2 years and I only broke up with him as he was going to turn down a brilliant job op because I couldn't move with him as I was in my final year of college, and we didn't want a long distance relationship. I still call him "the one who got away"

amusedbush · 21/03/2019 13:59

Does this mean it’s doomed to be causal?! I like him!

I once had sex on a second date. Seven years and a wedding later, I can't get rid of the guy! Grin

Belenus · 21/03/2019 14:02

When did women lose their self respect and think it normal to do so?

It's not a loss of self respect if you're happy with it. Sex early on in a relationship can be great, and quickly establishes the fact that no, you're not just friends. Sex alone without much other involvement can be great. Waiting and getting to know someone in other ways first, before you have sex, is also fine. None of these things indicate that women no longer respect themselves, any more than they indicate that a man up for sex early on has lost his self respect.

GraceMarks · 21/03/2019 14:06

It's not necessarily doomed to be casual, but you have to be on the same page as him. It sounds as if he can't believe his luck that he's met someone willing to send him sexy texts this early on and he might not be having the same long-term thoughts that you are. Unfortunately, coming out with the "is this a serious relationship?" talk after a couple of dates is also not a great idea, so generally speaking it's better to be more established in the relationship and confident that he wants the same as you before you start discussing sex positions!

Alsohuman · 21/03/2019 14:07

You’ve discussed sexual positions and you think this is inappropriate? Funny boundaries some people have!

Bluntness100 · 21/03/2019 14:09

I don't really understand how can you discuss sex with him, talk about your favourite position and take issue with that text?

Original poster
Hollyboat · 21/03/2019 14:09

I don’t see how it is a loss of self respect?

I liked chatting with him and we’ve talked about a lot more than sex. Also talked about work, friends, family.

I’ve made it clear I don’t have sex straight away. But if I did, I’m not sure how that’s a definite sign I’m not arsed about anything serious? I’ve said to him already that I’m not looking for anything casual and he’s said the same. Of course he could be lying, but then you could say that about anyone and anything surely...

OP posts:
Orangeslemon24 · 21/03/2019 14:11

I think ppl are getting confused here with having one night stands or sex early on with their partners and sexting!

Have sex early on doesn't mean a relationship is doomed.... Getting sex messages two dates in does.

Completely different and I can't believe people are confusing the two

Orangeslemon24 · 21/03/2019 14:13

Sorry I don't understand why you've posted on here then? If you don't have an issue

loveyoutothemoon · 21/03/2019 14:16

Not unreasonable of him considering your talk previous.

Ellisandra · 21/03/2019 14:18

You’ve opened that door.
It’s no biggie that he sent it.
But you can close it again.

“Well that’s flattering! Smile look, I’ve been excited getting to know you and I’ve probably jumped the gun a bit with the smut - my bad - you OK if we ease off on the sex chat and just get to know each other a bit before resuming it?”