he turns his messenger off

[sonicfox]

been dating a guy for a few months. going well. all good.
we chat on messenger every night for an hour or two. when we stop chatting he hides his last active status and its kept on like that all day. he doesnt respond to messages until he turns it back on and will chat away....so if i send him a message saying hey hows your day he doesnt read it until he turns it back to online and then he replys.
yet if he sends me a message he will chat away no bother.
to me its all on his terms. it screams to me that he doesnt want me seeing when hes online, he doesnt want me to talk to him...
hes on annual leave this week and doesnt have much on so its not like hes busy...but will wait till 9pm to chat. weird.
i dont like the vibe its giving me. thoughts?

Hang on. Is this your DP of 8 years, or the emotional affair you ended a few weeks ago?

.....oh or are you gay, as you mention on yet another post?

What an exciting life.

Seems odd to me I would say he has a partner I get not being able to use your phone at work I can’t except on my breaks but why only chatting messaging from 9 pm? Unless he works late does hobbies etc or that’s when his partner goes to work bed etc. I don’t turn anything off I reply when I am free

So this is your affair man?

Okay so he has a partner and so do you.
This was a waste of time. There's your answers.

Maybe he doesn't like when you can't reply when you're with your fiance either?

I don't really understand what he's supposed to have done but I quite often mute a group on WhatsApp or use a time limiter for several apps so I can get on with some WORK or indeed other things.

Our answer from another post as to why he puts his phone off!!
This was a poor wee me post 🙄

sonicfox

yes. im 28 he ia 43. hes 19 years married. im enagaged to partner 8 years.
started off a crush. then i could tell it was reciprocated. we flirted a lot, chatted.
then working together we kissed, instigated by him.
we spoke a lot online every night. i would get cold feet and habve no contact but always went back. he felt so much remorse and guilt and stopped the kissing,no touching...told me we are just friends. i ended it.
it made me feel sad. i wanted him to love me but i know i was just a bit of a thrill and ego boost. i know he likes me as a person but he does value his family. his wife had an affair in the past and they dont have sex....i know they all say that but he was talking to me from 9pm till 11pm when she was in bed so i know its true. i dont think she loves him.

There's a difference from muting your entire messaging service and muting one person.

If he's just muting you I'd want to know why.

Not sure if class this as “dating” op. Bit of a different slant now isn’t there? Even more bonkers now though!

I turn mine off, all the time because otherwise messages are constantly popping up! I have certain times I get on there to check messages, so maybe he is doing the same?

You feel like he is being secretive because he is.

The only person I knew who was like this did have a wife a three kids and was still on online dating. Ffs when I found out what he was doing I was third in line.

Did ignore your instincts. Don’t invest time in some one that is not transparent and it’s not bugging some one to ask how their fucking day is.

So this is your affair man?

Wait.. what?

Your pestering a married man who is hiding you on messenger from his wife! Get some self pride and morals!

@mother
Read above; I've copied from another of sonic posts, this a guy she's having an EA with

Nine days ago you posted you ended an emotional affair with a work colleague. Was that in addition to this guy? If so you've been busy haven't you. If it's the same person why the need for this thread?

Find some self respect and leave your DP so he can find someone better.

PS all cheats tell their bit on the side that they don't have sex with their wives - it's all part of the script. Amazingly it seems you're gullible enough to believe it.

Have you met this guy? Do you chat during the day at weekends? I agree it's odd that he signs in and out of messenger as you suggest he does. I would be wondering if he has a partner who goes to bed early or works night shifts!

@yearin
Read above ^

Well that update changes everything and makes this thread totally pointless you know why he’s turning off messenger because he’s married and you are both having an affair

Grim.

Oft this was a bit much for reading with the morning coffee!

And now everything we've all said is irrelevant and the OP won't come back!

And this is why Advanced Search is such a useful tool.

He turns his fucking messenger off becausehe doesn’t want the messages popping up when his wife is around and turns them back on when she goes to bed.

And the op knows he does this.

So what the fuck was the point of this whole bloody thread?

Oh jeez, just read the update 😳🤦🏼‍♀️

Guess OP won’t be coming back...

The Op I agree isn't likely to post again, but just wanted to point out if she's reading that this isn't dating, it's a very grubby affair. I would suggest seeing a therapist and trying to sort out your life and in the meantime keep the hell away from other people's relationships.