Actually shocked at what an idiot I am...

[Redfronts]

DP and I haven’t been getting along, so today I asked for him to leave the house for a week, so I can think about what I want to do.
He response was “This is my house, so you can go”. Then it hit me, I’m not on the deeds of the house, so I questioned him about it, and now find out he hasn’t put me on the council tax either.
That means that if we separated I would walk away with nothing.
Been together 15 yrs and have 3 kids. Also, keeps promising to get married and we never do.
I’ve been a complete fool and I’m so angry with myself.
I insisted I wanted my name on the house immediately. He said “start paying half the mortgage and you can” knowing that’s not possible as I’m a full time carer for our disabled son.

Surely that's council tax fraud? Or am I missing something?

OP could be in trouble as well. It's her responsibility too.

@Newname12

I said: If a woman earns less than a man and has taken time off work or gone part-time to look after children she is ALWAYS better off if she's married

You said: Nope, not for me. Read my earlier post.

But your earlier post said: I own my house in my sole name, and had significant savings/pensions etc

I think we are both saying the same thing!

OP, you may benefit from legal advice if you and your partner have ever discussed or agreed to merge your finances. Particularly if you can demonstrate financial contribution to the mortgage or deposit made as a consequence of this agreement.

However you would need to prove your case in court and that won't be cheap. So you need to decide if it is worth it.

Yes you are both responsible for registering for council tax

He’s hardly going to let the OP put her names on the deeds or get married so she can make a claim on HIS house. Even if they kiss and make up you can be pretty sure that isn’t going to happen .He knows exactly where he stands in this and he isn’t about to give away 50 percent or more of HIS money .
He isn’t stupid, never was stupid with regards to HIS house and the ownership of it .
He’s a cunt but not not a stupid one
OP has better chance at winning the lottery than getting a penny from this man by way of HIS house.
If I were the OP I would start by making plans to leave saving some money no matter how little and taking it from that point onwards

You can register interest in the house. But it's a lengthy and costly process that has no guarantee of being successful

Agreed that it has no guarantee of any success but in my experience it's not lengthy or costly.

Anybody getting married or co-habiting would be a fool not to make provisions for the marriage/relationship not working out so they protect their financial and material assets.

This is what pisses me off when people bleat that marriage is ‘only a piece of paper’ because it’s not!

As for you not being on the council tax, that surely was your responsibility to make sure you was on the register, didn’t you not realise you have never had a vote in the last 15 years?

Go see a solicitor. You’re seriously going to need all the help you can get.

OP, I am so sorry you have such a shock and have found yourself living with someone who isn't who you thought they were. It's time to have a serious think about where you go from here and stop thinking he is on your team. The way he has spoken to you is awful and proves he's not.

Not sure on the legalities but if you have cohabited for more than 5 years and have a child together I think you're entitled to something even if you're not married?

I wish people wouldn’t post rubbish like this when they freely admit they don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s utterly pointless.

So take your children and go to the council for help. Explain to them that your relationship is over and your ex has told your to leave and that you can't leave your kids behind. They have to house you because of the kids. Then apply for universal credits online. Have you any savings at all or access to a joint bank account?

*I said: If a woman earns less than a man and has taken time off work or gone part-time to look after children she is ALWAYS better off if she's married

You said: Nope, not for me. Read my earlier post.

But your earlier post said: I own my house in my sole name, and had significant savings/pensions etc

I think we are both saying the same thing!*

You said women are always better off married if they earn less or have gone part time.

I earn less and have gone part time to look after the children.

I am still better off not married as i lose more in terms of the assets i brought than dh will put in.

This should not be possible in this day and age.

Common-law marriage should be recognised, giving protection to women who have lived with their partners and have children with them! It is insane and frankly woman-hating that this is not the law.

@NewName12

Except if the woman is the one with the house/good job etc. Then marriage gives him rights the same as it would vice versa.

I own my house in my sole name, and had significant savings/pensions etc. Marriage has weakened my financial status as in it has given dh the right to 50% of my property.

In the vast majority of cases, women do not have much more wealth and assets than men they are in relationships with, and secondly, even if they do, so what if the man is allowed to claim half of everything if you are married and you split after 20 years and 3 kids?

Or are you suggesting that WOMEN should be entitled to half of everything, (in the event of a split,) but it's not OK on the rare occasion that the situation is reversed?

@Haffiana

This needs to be taught in schools. So many truly unknowing women on here who buy into the 'it's only a piece of paper' and 'we don't need marriage to prove our love for each other' nonsense. I see it on thread after thread in Relationships and AIBU.

Marriage was never about love. It was always about the legalities concerning children, property and assets.

Amen to that!

The 'it's only a piece of paper' brigade make me want to tear my hair out with frustration and rage. No it's NOT only a piece of fucking paper, you muppet!

The OP is not on the house deeds or council tax or any damn thing. Her partner is mugging her off big style!

Common-law marriage should be recognised, giving protection to women who have lived with their partners and have children with them! It is insane and frankly woman-hating that this is not the law.

Bollocks! Why should people who want to live together but not mingle finances or assets (plenty of people don't want to because they want to maintain their assets for their children from previous marriage(s), for example) be penalised by giving live-in lovers automatic rights because a few people didn't look after themselves and made themselves dependent on some arsehole?

I'm sorry you're going through this OP - he's sounds like a total shit.

Op, as you'd just asked him to move out, and the relationship is breaking down, to the point of you were considering f splitting, it's very unlikely he's going to put your name on the deeds any time soon.

You need to look at what child maintenance is due, and with your carers allowance, any benefits you may be entitled to.

Once understand your financial position you can then take if from there, you may be eligible for social housing as well, but base case is work out the entitlements.

Common-law marriage should be recognised

No it shouldn’t. Why should sharing assets be the default? Marriage is an opt-in.

My sister has been with her partner for 20 years. For various reasons, they don’t want to combine assets and want inheritances to go to their respective children. If they wanted differently, they could get married.

Tell him you will get a job and pay half the mortgage if he cares for your son 3.5 days a week.

I thought commonlaw marriages were recognised in UK - are they not? (living together for many years wiht DC and shared bills and responsibilities etc but not formally wed.)

Common-law marriage should be recognised, giving protection to women who have lived with their partners and have children with them! It is insane and frankly woman-hating that this is not the law.

No it shouldn't. If you want to involve the state in your relationship and make it a binding contract. Get married.

Dont have kids until you get married. Regardless of what promises are made.

People should have the choice on whether they want their relationship to be legally recognised.

Plus it wont change anything. Men like this just wont move a girlfriend in. They will find excuses and I bet just as many women, will still have babies expecting them to move in together when the baby is born, then when the babies a bit older and they can save more money blah blah blah.

What should be happening is that we get into kids heads, that before making life changing decisions like moving into someone's house, or having kids, you investigate the legal position. Not listen to your friends.

I once saw a woman in her 50s on here saying that she believed common law was a thing in England.....because her mates assured it was.

It surprises me people are actually giving advice like “make up and marry him or get your name on the deeds”.
It surprises me that anyone thinks he is ever going to marry the OP ever.

She just attempted to kick him out of a property that is legally his and he definitely views as his.

Why would he marry her now? He sounds like a dick. He isnt going to give her half the house now.

I think parents need to take some responsibility for teaching their kids this sort of stuff too.

You cant put every life lesson into schools.

How did you not realise when you bought the house? Or did you move in to a house he'd already got a mortgage on?

If you aren’t registered at the home is he claiming the single person discount? That’s fraud. And what happened when it came to electondv? Have you never voted?

If the partner is claiming spd then it would be, but he may just have his name on the bill as liable and have told council tax his partner lives at the property so doesn’t qualify for spd

Just looked it up and discovered common law is not properly recognised in UK.

And people will always listen to the rubbish their mates tell them rather than a professional. I once was asked about bank holidays, and the client said " that can't be right! My next door neighbor says... !". AAAAAAAAGH!