My partners brother hasn't invited me to his wedding!

[Mummabear19]

Okay so basically, I'm confused. My partners brother is getting married next year. He's gave everyone the invites and basically has only invited my partner and not me. His reason being because "me and him have history from years ago". My point is I would never stop him going to his brothers big day. But with me not being there and especially abroad for a full week, everyone is going to wonder where I am. Now I dont know what to think. Could someone tell me what I should Do?

There’s nothing for you to do. You weren’t invited so you don’t go. You don’t put on your husband emotionally to try and stop him going to the wedding; you let him make his own decision about attending.

If the history = you shagged him maybe the bride to be has told him this instruction?

How long have you and your partner been together?

I would feel very put out.

Me and my DH have been together for 13 years, married for 1.5 and last year his sister planned a wonderful boat trip for the whole family, (including brother in law's girlfriend of 1year !) And she had the nerve to call my husband to ask if it was ok if I stayed at home as there wasn't enough space on the boat. My husband went ballistic and neither of us went.

He stood by me 100%. The point I am trying to make is, it's your partner's brother, ask him to talk to him and find out the real reason behind.

A wedding is a huge family affair and people will be asking where you are.

I can only imagine how hurt you must be feeling right now. X

If you slept with him , then I would say it's the bride with the issue, but she's marrying him , you aren't!

Do you normally socialise together ? See eachother at family events ?

On the flip side. Book yourself a week somewhere with some girlfriends and let them carry on!!

What's the "history"?

Probably need more info.

What’s the “history” and how long have you been with your partner?

I agree it depends what the history is

More information is needed to be honest before anyone can give a reasoned answer

Sorry I'm new to this so still trying to figure out how to reply to everyone.
That's the thing He's came out on nights out to celebrate birthdays or even just to meet up for a catch up. I know his fiance he's getting married to.

Snowflake9, i am so glad your partner stood by you!!! I wouldn't know that to do in that matter but knowing your partner supported you is the main thing. I'm so glad.

I just feel totally left out. I spoke to him regarding this and he keeps saying he's my blood and family. And we we're best friends and now together for 2 years and a half. I've told him look I need to know his real reason as if he's getting married thwn he's moving on so why does anything matter especially that me and my partner are together. I just feel totally upset knowing that he doesn't have my back in this.

How long have you been together, and what is the history? But hard to give advice without it.

So you dated/shagged him?

The history is basically we spoke to each other for a little bit and he caught feelings but then I wasn't in the right mind frame off feelings as it was too quick but we still remained friends.

Did you date your partner’s brother?

The history is basically we spoke to each other for a little bit and he caught feelings but then I wasn't in the right mind frame off feelings as it was too quick but we still remained friends.

So nothing happened?

Or you slept together but decided to leave it at that?

You dated or you dated and shagged?

The thing is , would you want to be there now knowing that they don't want you there? I wouldn't.

Let your partner go, he has to it's family politics but I would make a point of just being overly friendly and nice next time you see them, let them see it doesn't bother you and they will probably feel as awkward as you feel now! (That's how I handled my situation)

X

He caught feelings?!?!

We didnt sleep together. We just dated for a little bit but nothing happened apart from a quick kiss. And yeah he caught feelings. But then 2 years later I met his brother and we became best friends for a year and then officially decided to make it official between us.

Well now I did say to him I dont even want to go especiallt being not invited. But I still want to support my partner as everyone will be questioning where I am. I told him to go, I'm not stopping him but not once has he considered my feelings towards this. I just wanted to know how anyone would take from this if it had happened to them.

I wouldn't make this into a big deal.
They don't want you to be at their wedding because you previously dated the groom and are now with his brother. It's a bit messy. And it sounds as if you haven't been together for that long.

Don't try to stop your partner from attending his brother's day. Just accept their decision. Feel a bit hurt maybe, then move on & don't worry about it.

So if and when you get married the bil won't want to be invited to your wedding then.

How old are you? It does seem reasonable not to have an “ex” at the wedding, even if he is your partner’s brother.

That's exactly what I said by giving an example. I did say to him what if me and you were to get married obviously he would be invited with his Mrs right? And he was just like yeah because he's my brother and family it's different. But I was just like so why is it different with me going to his wedding to support you?

I'm 23. I have tried my best being mature with this but i don't know what else to think as it is annoying me a little bit. He is in London just now visiting family and I'm going down tomorow. I did say to him we can have a chat again about this. But the more I think off this the more I feel my relationship will be at risk.