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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Help me have strength. Hes just smashed up my kitchen

150 replies

Teacoffeechoc · 14/03/2019 11:05

So partner has always had a bad temper and arguments have got out of hand before.
This morning I went for a coffee with a friend and he has smashed up the kitchen because he doesn't like my friend. He threw the microwave at me but I managed to dodge it. He has smashed glasses of the floor and walls. Hes broken my washing machine and oven.

I asked him to leave and he has. But know he will come back as he has left his charger here.
He has taken all money and food from his kids as he is trying to get to me.

Give me strength to finally get rid of him please.

OP posts:

HeavenlyEyes · 14/03/2019 12:31

Another to join the chorus of police.

Please let us know you are okay OP?

babysharkah · 14/03/2019 12:36

If you're not able to can you call someone else to call the police for you? Are the kids at school - any family/friends you can go to after pick up instead of going home?

Original poster

Teacoffeechoc · 14/03/2019 12:42

Sorry. I have been sat at my neighbours. I've taken photos and I'm trying to find the strength to call the police. I'm not sure I'm strong enough for the aftermath if he gets arrested. He will go crazy.

They are my children. He is their father. The 4 year old watched it all. I can't believe this has happened. I've locked all the doors. His charger and stuff is outside.

Yes he has taken all the food and money.

Why am I so affraid to call the police?

OP posts:

thefirst48 · 14/03/2019 12:44

If you don't call the police it will happen again and again. You won't get the help you need! Your 4 year old saw it ffs wake up and realise you need to think about your kids!

looondonn · 14/03/2019 12:45

Call the police now

The mistake I made when my ex threw tables at me when 38 weeks pregnant was not to call police was worried about him etc

Fck that

CALL POLICE
poor you and your poor kids so so unfair on you all

ApolloandDaphne · 14/03/2019 12:45

If he goes crazy when arrested then the police will see his true colours.

By not acting on this you are putting your children at risk. Witnessing domestic violence has a massive impact on children. There is support out there for you and your family. Please take it.

JaneEyre07 · 14/03/2019 12:46

The aftermath is that he gets punished for acting like he did.

He's the one in the wrong here, not you.

TheMuminator2 · 14/03/2019 12:46

What if next time the microwave hits and injures or worse...your 4 yr old????

Use this as motivation to call police now and prevent a tragedy. We are all holding your hand to do it!!! Please for all your sake's xxx

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 14/03/2019 12:46

Calling the police makes it all seem more real, I suppose. But you must do it. They will help you, there are officers trained for this sort of situation. You don't need to cope alone, you really don't.
Please also be aware that your 4 year old will probably tell someone about this at some point, and you need the authorities to know that you have taken steps to protect the child. Social services will be able to help you to do this and having him arrested will make it clear that you are not deliberately exposing your child to this.

Fireandflames666 · 14/03/2019 12:46

Call the police before something happens to you or your children.

ciderhouserules · 14/03/2019 12:46

I'm not sure I'm strong enough for the aftermath if he gets arrested - are you strong enough to face the fallout if you don't get him arrested?

What about your kids? How strong are they, in the face of his rage?

You do understand that the Police can protect you, and the kids, don't you?

Ribbonsonabox · 14/03/2019 12:48

Call the police. You've more to fear from not calling the police. Yes he might be angry you've called the police but that is nothing compared to how this will escalate if he is repeatedly allowed to get away with it.. he could end up killing you one day. Do you really want your children to be around this? If the 4 year old saw it all there is probably enough evidence to actually charge him here and certainly to make sure that he is never allowed near the children unsupervised... or around you at all.
Please do something about this now while you still can.
You and your kids dont deserve to live like this.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/03/2019 12:48

The 4 year old watched it all

Christ, if you can't do it for yourself, do it for them.

Call the police.

I'm not sure I'm strong enough for the aftermath if he gets arrested

This man could kill you. What happens to your kids then?

Him getting arrested is not your problem or responsibility. He did this.

Gazelda · 14/03/2019 12:53

You have to be strong enough.
Deal with one step at a time. Worry about repercussions if and when they happen. The most important thing is that you make the call to the police now.

gamerchick · 14/03/2019 12:53

The police won't care if he goes crazy, they will deal with him.

This is your moment to to protect your children.

Original poster

Teacoffeechoc · 14/03/2019 12:54

Ok I'm going to call them.

I'm going to my friends to tell her and will call them there as I have a feeling he hasn't gone far and I'm scared.

OP posts:

PippilottaLongstocking · 14/03/2019 12:55

Your four year old was there??? What if the microwave had hit them???? Head injuries can be fatal

Original poster

Teacoffeechoc · 14/03/2019 12:55

And the house is rented with both our names on.

OP posts:

beerandpopcorn · 14/03/2019 12:56

Could you ask your neighbour to call the police ? You really need their help. Keep yourself and your children safe. You can't do that alone, you need professional help. Please just do it! 💐

Chattycatty · 14/03/2019 12:56

I wouldn’t leave the house empty if he goes back in he could destroy everything. Phone the police from your neighbours.

AnxietyForever · 14/03/2019 12:57

Call the police, your children will be grateful in the future for protecting them. Good luck

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/03/2019 12:57

I'm going to my friends to tell her and will call them there as I have a feeling he hasn't gone far and I'm scared

Great idea. Stay safe and let us know what happens later.

BeUpStanding · 14/03/2019 12:57

Call the police! Be brave for your children... Take things one tiny step at time, and right now the only step you have to make is picking up the phone and calling 999. That's it. That's the only thing you have to do.

Call the police

Singlenotsingle · 14/03/2019 12:58

He has to understand that actions have consequences. If you do nothing, he learns that he can do it again and nothing will happen. And next time the microwave might hit you.

1MillionSelfiesTakenByMyKids · 14/03/2019 13:00

If the 4 year old saw it all there is probably enough evidence to actually charge him here and certainly to make sure that he is never allowed near the children unsupervised... or around you at all. Please do something about this now while you still can.You and your kids dont deserve to live like this.

Couldn't agree more. You don't deserve this and you need to protect them and yourself - from this behaviour and also from the fallout when this comes into the open

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