Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Help me have strength. Hes just smashed up my kitchen

150 replies

Teacoffeechoc · 14/03/2019 11:05

So partner has always had a bad temper and arguments have got out of hand before.
This morning I went for a coffee with a friend and he has smashed up the kitchen because he doesn't like my friend. He threw the microwave at me but I managed to dodge it. He has smashed glasses of the floor and walls. Hes broken my washing machine and oven.

I asked him to leave and he has. But know he will come back as he has left his charger here.
He has taken all money and food from his kids as he is trying to get to me.

Give me strength to finally get rid of him please.

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 14/03/2019 11:37

Call the police and Women's Aid. Are the children yours as well as his? If you have no food in the house because this man has taken or destroyed it, and no money to buy more, you need immediate support, you poor girl. Have you any family or friends who could take you in for a bit, or feed you and DC?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/03/2019 11:38

Call the police now. Take photos of the kitchen.

Theimpossiblegirl · 14/03/2019 11:38

I agree with call the police, take photos of the damage and rally your friends/family.
Where are your children now? if they are at school it may be worth making sure he can't collect them.
Please take care.

downcasteyes · 14/03/2019 11:38

Call the police, then call Women's Aid. Find out if you can get your locks changed legally - you need to keep this guy on the right side of the door, and that is very firmly on the outside.

Then have a cup of tea, and call your insurance company, hopefully you're covered.

beerandpopcorn · 14/03/2019 11:38

God I've heard it all now!! He took the kids food? Get him arrested! Bastard!!!

LondonJax · 14/03/2019 11:40

Echoing calling the police. Then Women's Aid.

Then pack an emergency bag for yourself and the kids. Put in passports, phone numbers for school, your phone charger, change of clothes for each of you, medications. Things you need every day - enough for a day or two until you can get safely back into the house. Put it somewhere you can get to it but he won't notice it - better still leave it with a friend. Just in case HE ends up back in the house and you have to run with the kids. The last thing you want to do if he's rampaging is pack overnight clothes etc if you need to get somewhere safe.

Do it now.

f83mx · 14/03/2019 11:40

Jesus Christ you can’t have this around your kids surely? Photos and police now.

rainingonmyfireworks · 14/03/2019 11:41

Flowers you poor thing, but at least you are well rid of. as others have said,police and bag his stuff up and leave outside. leave keys in door until you can get a lock smith.can anyone stay with youin the mean time ?

TheMuminator2 · 14/03/2019 11:42

This brave lady just left her abusive partner maybe some helpful advice www.mumsnet.com/Talk/thirty_days_only/3529708-Talk-to-me-about-emergency-housing-escaping-domestic-abuse?watched=1&msgid=85560638#85560638

ApolloandDaphne · 14/03/2019 11:43

We are all saying loud and clear that you need to call the police. He could have killed you. Please protect yourself and your children. You deserve better.

adulthumanwolf · 14/03/2019 11:46

Call the police

Lweji · 14/03/2019 11:51

Call the police.
Then ask about taking protective measures. They should refer you to NCDV to get protection orders.

Then contact Women's Aid. They will help you plan accordingly.

NutElla5x · 14/03/2019 11:52

Take photos of the damage he's caused and please find the strength to call the police with a view to getting a restraining order op. Or at the very least put his stuff in bin bags outside and warn him you will call them if he tries to gain access to the house. You will have to be so strong now op but the pay off will be so worth it when you are finally free of this controlling and violent piece of shit. Good luck Flowers

MissionItsPossible · 14/03/2019 11:57

Get the locks changed and call the police immediately.

AnneOfCleanTables · 14/03/2019 12:00

Take photos of the damage. Call the police. Then call a friend or relative to come sit with you until the police arrive.
If you're worried he will come back before the police can arrive, then pack a bag for you and the DCs and go somewhere safe (friend, relative, police station).
You can do this. Imagine what you would want your DC to do if their partner treated them like this. Flowers

TokyoSushi · 14/03/2019 12:01

Oh OP, you really, really need to call the police

Ribbonsonabox · 14/03/2019 12:03

Take pictures and CALL THE POLICE do it right now do it for your kids. He needs to take responsibility for his horrendous behaviour... it's not normal OP.

ApolloandDaphne · 14/03/2019 12:06

You said it's your kitchen so does that mean it is your home in your name only? Can you change the locks and not allow him back?

RomanyQueen1 · 14/03/2019 12:06

Police, locksmith, Women's aid. In that order.
Please don't think that this isn't severe enough, it will only get worse, he'll start on you when he's finished with the furniture.

Atalune · 14/03/2019 12:07

CALL THE POLICE

Lock the doors and leave a charger in a plastic bag with a label on the front door.

RomanyQueen1 · 14/03/2019 12:08

forgot to say OP, you have the strength, do what's right for your kids.
I can't believe someone would take their own kids money and food.

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 14/03/2019 12:13

Please please protect yourself and your children OP. Police first, get a support person to come over and arrange locksmiths ASAP. Good luck.

MNHQ
JoMumsnet · 14/03/2019 12:15

Hi Teacoffeechoc,

We just wanted to echo the advice given by many posters on this thread - please call the police if you are in danger.

Here's a link to our Domestic Violence webguide which contains links to many organisations which can offer you some real life support.

One such organisation is Women's Aid. They run a 24hr freephone National Domestic Violence Helpline (in partnership with Refuge) which is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week - 0808 2000 247 24.

The helpline is answered by fully trained female support workers and volunteers, who will answer your call in confidence. All calls to the domestic violence helpline are free from mobiles and landlines.

Take care, OP. Flowers

caringcarer · 14/03/2019 12:20

Call the police and Woman's Aid immediately. I would go out with kids and not be there if he returned. If you can get locks changed. Can you put the cost on a credit card if he has taken all money? I would pack up all of his stuff in bin liners and leave in the garden. Don't ever take him back.

gamerchick · 14/03/2019 12:24

Police, get him lifted. Sort out the rest later.

This is your only option if you really want rid of him. Get it recorded and out of your hair.