What is this behaviour? Was I in the wrong?

[MoreWaterPlix]

Little backstory - Me and DP been together for 6 years, living together for 5. Both female, no children. No history of anything violent.

I am starting to see a pattern in my partners behaviour that I am not quite comfortable. Before I go into that, I will start with what happened last night.

Tuesday evening DP brought home a pack of 5 creme eggs for us, lovely. I didn't eat any, I have to be in the mood for chocolate.

Wednesday evening I came home and was really looking forward to one, I felt lethargic and had a stressful day at work. I asked her where they were and she did a purposely cheeky shifty face as if to say she had eaten them all. I asked if she was serious and she said "Yes, but I didnt eat them all yesterday, I took some to work today".

I said thats mean and that I was looking forward to them, not to mention there were 5!!!!

I left to go to the shop and she said jokingly "I will have a wispa please, and a twix, all the chocolate please".

I came back with a selection of chocolate and said to her in a half joking way "you can piss off if you think you're having any" and half laughed. She then grabbed 2 wispas and I said "no way! Come on now, you ate all those creme eggs and if you ..." before I ended the sentence she said "ALRIGHT MOREWATERPLIX" in a really stern voice and then ignored me.

She was making dinner at the time and when it was cooked she placed it in front of me and said sarcastically "there you go light of my life", put her phone on with netflix and didn't speak to me.

After food, to avoid the arguments going on and on I gave her choclate (which is what I had planned anyway) and she said she didn't want it.

She didnt come to bed until late, didnt speak to me this morning and left without saying goodbye.

Before the chocolate incident I was trying to tell her a story about my day and its hard to explain but this is a version fo how it went:

Me: I don't really want to show this blood form to my boss when I ask for time off because it tells you what its for

DP: Don't want to what?

Me: Repeats sentence

DP: Dont want to show what form

This goes on, she is mucking around like she usually does and I say "dont start now, im not in the mood" .

She winds me up, she will pretend she hasn't heard things or repeat what I have said. She can be really childish. It is very rare that I am able to have a grown up conversation with her. I really haven't explained myself well here have I?

I personally dont think I have done anything wrong, yes I teased her about the chocolate but she was a greedy fucker and ate all 5 in 24 hours. She never keeps me anything, I will buy 2 custard slices as a treat and if I dont eat mine within 24 hours she will eat it.

I just felt like I needed to put this down somewhere I guess. I will happily accept that I was int he wring but feel I need more opinions.

The pretending she hasn't heard you part is so so annoying. My OH does that and I have to repeat myself several times before I get a mumbled response that I often can't fathom. That would totally change how I felt about her.

tbh if this was in aibu most posters would be telling you to ltb for this behaviour.

It sounds like she has a binge eating issue, I'd sit down and have a serious talk with her and if she wont engage or try to change then I'd end the relationship and move out.
I know its difficult, but I wouldn't want to continue with someone as childish and greedy as this.

It sounds like you were expecting her to be a mind reader - she bought a treat and offered it to you. When you said "not right now, thanks" she heard "not right now thanks" and went ahead and ate them. When actually you wanted her to hear "I will want one at some unspecified time in the future. And at that point, I will expect to have one of those precise five - not one I buy for myself, one of those ones you bought me. Please intuit that you should save me an undecided amount of creme eggs for an unstated length of time. "

And you keep saying you don't mind that she are five creme eggs but clearly you do - there is an undercurrent of food shaming and implying that she is greedy and lacking self control which she is no doubt picking up on. Be honest - if she had bought two eggs, offered you one then, when you declined, taken the other one to eat at work the next day, would you be so pissed off and judgy?

You both sound like a couple of petty little 10 year olds.

Not gonna lie though, me and DH have behaved like this occasionally in the past, in the early stages of our relationship. It is rather petty and childish behaviour, but you're not the first couple to behave this way, and you won't be the last.

You both need to say sorry to each other for being eeejits! And kiss and make up. (And in future ask her if she can at least leave one chuffing creme egg for you!)

Good luck to you both. Sounds like a silly argument, and reading through the thread, your relationship does sound a bit fractious. You both sound a bit immature sorry OP, and it sounds like you need to work on your relationship, and talk things through.

i'd peed off being treated like
I'd be peed off with DH continually like a child. "I didn't her you I didn't hear you I ate the chocolate hahahaha I'm so naughty"

If you know she has issues with self control then you can’t be surprised she ate all the eggs.

I would have taken one and hidden it for later in your shoes. If you say you don’t want one then there’s no reason that shouldn’t be taken at face value.

like a parent would a child. id peed off being treated like that tbh. but this sounds like a parent

and I am peed off HAVING to be a parent.

There is never anything nice for me to eat when I get home, literally just ingredients to make meals. Anything that is snackable is gone overnight. I am sick of it, and if that makes me horrble then so be it.

I am sick of living with someone who has no self control or a second thought about me.

I had to give up smoking for health reasons and she carries on smoking in our home. I am also forever bailing her out financially.

I ask that we have one room animal free - bedroom and she constantly brings the dog up to bed. I tell her to make sure she takes the dog down before we sleep as dog is prone to accidents, she conveniently falls to sleep so I have to get up and take the dog down even though I didnt want her upstairs in the first place! Or if I fallt o sleep before her, there is dog piss ont he landing.

She doesn't make any effort with my family. Met my dad once in 6 years yet I am pushed into seeing her family every bloody week, every event. She takes the piss out of me all the time.

So when I come home from work and all I want is a fucking creme egg, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE IT!!

and breathe

What are the reasons for you staying with this person? are there any? she sounds awful and I would be out of there asap if it were me. Sorry.

Ok, sod the "it's difficult" bollocks. You need to leave. As soon as possible. Why on earth you are in a relationship that makes you so miserable?

You don't have children. You do have a job. Leave.

She obviously doesn’t give a shit does she? The creme egg sounds like the final straw.

In light of your last post I think you should leave.

There is never anything nice for me to eat when I get home, literally just ingredients to make meals. Anything that is snackable is gone overnight. I am sick of it, and if that makes me horrble then so be it.

OK, so with this and later posts it's evident this really isn't about creme eggs. You're parenting when you want an equal relationship. I think you need to think seriously about whether the dynamics of this relationship can change, because you cannot carry on how they are.

I do get how annoying it is when food just goes, with no thought for anyone else in the house. As a young adult I lived with my parents for a while. Every evening I'd check there was enough food in the house for a packed lunch the next day. Often by morning it was gone, meaning leaving earlier to stop on the way to work to buy food. I was doing hard, physical outdoor work which made me very hungry. There was nowhere nearby to buy food. It would alter my whole day. My dad had not a care in the world, or any thought for anyone else. He wanted to snack, hungry or not, so he'd just eat whatever was there.

20 years later he's still the same but I only have to put up with it briefly when I stay. Open a pack of biscuits and dad will trough until they're gone. Everyone else in the house makes sure they're shared. It might seem minor, but living with it really grinds you down.

She can't help herself so it is not really her fault if she ate all the creme eggs.

I mean, she definitely can...

I wouldn't be able to find a childish, greedy person attractive.

Leave.

There are zero reasons to stay, you make each other miserable, you are wasting your life.

Jesus, you started off appearing a bit unreasonable, being ridiculously petty over some chocolate, but that last posts puts you in a different light, and angry one.

You need to end this relationship, as you come across like you hate her.

Shes sounds really selfish and ignorant, I'd be off.
Why are you staying with her?

Well she bought creme eggs and she ate them, I couldn't get so worked up about that. You went on and on about it, which would be annoying.

All the things in your last post however would make me totally unattracted to her, so YANBU for being fed up.

I dont really have anywhere to go, my dad chain smoked constantly and I only have to visit him for 10 minutes and I stink of stale foreign fags. I have a small amount of savings and I worry where she would go.

She has family but I know she wouldnt want to move back in with them.

It isnt just about the chocolate, there are many other things.

She will make her own lunch for work, iron her own clothes. If I do either of these things I will always do her things too.

Generally, I think she doesnt really give a shit about me until I raise concerns then she changes for 48 hours.

You don't sound compatible. What is stopping you from leaving?

The eating of all snacks and treats would piss me off completely, I find that type of greed and selfishness very unattractive.

Sorry cross post

she wouldn't be your problem where she moved to, what would happen if you were evicted or she broke up the relationship ? you would need to get sorted then for a new place. how about a house /flat share until you get on your feet again ?

How many rooms in your current place? Do you rent? How long on the contract?