What is this behaviour? Was I in the wrong?

[MoreWaterPlix]

Little backstory - Me and DP been together for 6 years, living together for 5. Both female, no children. No history of anything violent.

I am starting to see a pattern in my partners behaviour that I am not quite comfortable. Before I go into that, I will start with what happened last night.

Tuesday evening DP brought home a pack of 5 creme eggs for us, lovely. I didn't eat any, I have to be in the mood for chocolate.

Wednesday evening I came home and was really looking forward to one, I felt lethargic and had a stressful day at work. I asked her where they were and she did a purposely cheeky shifty face as if to say she had eaten them all. I asked if she was serious and she said "Yes, but I didnt eat them all yesterday, I took some to work today".

I said thats mean and that I was looking forward to them, not to mention there were 5!!!!

I left to go to the shop and she said jokingly "I will have a wispa please, and a twix, all the chocolate please".

I came back with a selection of chocolate and said to her in a half joking way "you can piss off if you think you're having any" and half laughed. She then grabbed 2 wispas and I said "no way! Come on now, you ate all those creme eggs and if you ..." before I ended the sentence she said "ALRIGHT MOREWATERPLIX" in a really stern voice and then ignored me.

She was making dinner at the time and when it was cooked she placed it in front of me and said sarcastically "there you go light of my life", put her phone on with netflix and didn't speak to me.

After food, to avoid the arguments going on and on I gave her choclate (which is what I had planned anyway) and she said she didn't want it.

She didnt come to bed until late, didnt speak to me this morning and left without saying goodbye.

Before the chocolate incident I was trying to tell her a story about my day and its hard to explain but this is a version fo how it went:

Me: I don't really want to show this blood form to my boss when I ask for time off because it tells you what its for

DP: Don't want to what?

Me: Repeats sentence

DP: Dont want to show what form

This goes on, she is mucking around like she usually does and I say "dont start now, im not in the mood" .

She winds me up, she will pretend she hasn't heard things or repeat what I have said. She can be really childish. It is very rare that I am able to have a grown up conversation with her. I really haven't explained myself well here have I?

I personally dont think I have done anything wrong, yes I teased her about the chocolate but she was a greedy fucker and ate all 5 in 24 hours. She never keeps me anything, I will buy 2 custard slices as a treat and if I dont eat mine within 24 hours she will eat it.

I just felt like I needed to put this down somewhere I guess. I will happily accept that I was int he wring but feel I need more opinions.

I just want to kick back you know

No, I don't know what that means. Please explain.

not to mention she "bought them for us"

So if I say I dont fancy one of 5 chocolate eggs that evening, that gives the green light for her to scoff them all lol

No, you say, "I won't have one right now, but I'll save this one for later, thanks". THEN if she scoffs the lot she's being a selfish tosser.

Kick back - relax, not be wound up and laughed at and taken the piss out of

@QueenEhlana that doesn't work with her. I told her "not right now" as I always do

OK so it's clea I was in the wrong. In that case I will apologise to her.

Thank you everyone.

Fuck's sake. Ridiculous hard work.

You're clearly incompatible. How have you managed 5 years living together and not settled into a routine naturally that works for you both?

So if I say I dont fancy one of 5 chocolate eggs that evening, that gives the green light for her to scoff them all

Yes it does.

Be careful with creme eggs whilst they’re doing their PR stunt. DH got me a loose one, obvs all been unwrapped and fondled by god knows how many people looking for the mystical white egg. I was then violently sick during the night and it was definitely from eating the egg. Probs a virus from someone not washing their hands. Ugghhh people are so disgusting misses point of thread

I don't understand why you feel the need to police her eating. It sounds a bit controlling.

I'm not policing her eating FFS!

OP in regards to the blood test, in my area at least they do early morning blood clinics specifically for those who work. If it's an actual appointment take the letter (which will be vague/or you could redact the clinic name) rather than the blood request. Really not that big of an issue.

In regards to the chocolate, seems like an average petty row.

It doesn't sound like you're compatible at all. Cut your losses and move on

It is not like you can't buy more creme eggs/chocolate. Why make such a big deal of it?

It is very rare that I am able to have a grown up conversation with her.
That is because you are being Parent, she is being Child and neither of you are being Adult OP.

this relationship is hard work and tbh i'd be moving on,falling out over chocolate is silly at the very least, it sounds very immature tbh.

I think she was probably embarrassed about eating the 5 Crewe eggs so went on the defensive. Maybe cut her a bit of slack as she may have issues about food. I know some people can have a box of chocolates and make them last weeks, others can’t.

I agree that not being able to have an adult conversation is annoying and to be honest have no idea how you deal with that, sorry.

Hope things improve for you. 🌺

Is there a bigger back story? Is she thoughtless in other ways? Do you have an even split of housework and all that stuff?

Seems a bit dramatic to split because she didn't think to save you some creme eggs that you'd said you didn't want 'right now' (even though you didn't specifically ask her to save you any.)

Creme eggs obviously not Crewe🙄

There is more to it, of course. This was just an example and some things have been changed in case it outs me.

I do know she has problems with food and maybe she was embarassed. I will speak to her tonight and apologise.

OP of DH had bought something for US to share then not only ate it all but actually took it away to work to ensure he could eat it all, I'd be rather miffed too. It isn't about how much he's eaten, it's about it being selfish to buy something to share and then not share because the other person wasn't quick enough. That's how children behave.

If I had eaten 3 of the eggs and fancied one at work I'd leave them and buy them en route or at least grab a couple more on the way home because I'd already told DH we'd share.

That's basic manners.

However it sounds like you both want different from a relationship. You say if you bring it up she gets angry you blame her. But it sounds like you do blame her.

I'd examine your own behaviour - you're stressed with work, are you snarky and take it out on her? Do you expect to rant about your day all night but she isn't because she's not as stressed as you?

If there's genuinely nothing you can do your end reasonably to help then I'd sit her down and tell her it's getting to the point where you aren't sure it can last and something needs to change

Can you not see that by giving her grief for eating all the creme eggs you were in fact policing her eating?!

Tbf Mona I think OP was policing her DP's manners

Sounds like she has a problem with food and can't ave any chocolate. Now you know this. Next time she offers chocolate take one and save it for when you fancy it. She is never going to save you one!

op was policing her manners like a parent would a child. i'd peed off being treated like that tbh. but this sounds like a parent / child relationship anyway.