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Original poster

Sex - very different with new person? *TMI*

102 replies

Readytorewind · 25/02/2019 20:45

This is going to be quite gross in terms of tmi, I apologise in advance but I'm totally thrown!

Just got back from a brilliant weekend away with a new guy. REALLY like him but it's only been a few weeks so just getting to know you stage.

The only thing I'm Confused about is the sex. We had sex 6 times from Sat night - this morning. He lasts absolutely ages. As in over half an hour, everytime. I'm not used to this. My exes have always cum quickly. 5 mins tops. We did a lot of foreplay and I came (and squirted Blush) a lot. When I've wiped this morning there was a tinge of blood and I think it's basically friction? It didn't hurt at all during sex and I was really turned on. I have quite low self esteem so I'm wondering if it's taking him that long to cum because he's not attracted to me? But his behaviour and what he says doesn't match up with this theory as he's always kissing me, touching me, saying how great I am etc.

He's a fair bit younger (he's 31, I'm 39). Is lasting so long in the realm of normal? I'm very satisfied so feel a bit silly but it's just a nagging thought I've been getting?

OP posts:
Original poster
Readytorewind · 25/02/2019 21:42

I wish I could boast but I've been quite stressed about it haha!

OP posts:
azulmariposa · 25/02/2019 21:43

Not an age thing, just someone who is mindful that it's not a one player sport!
Haha! My ex lasted about 5 minutes but my current partner who is ten years older, lasts much, much longer (if needed! Wink).

And the blood could just be a small tear, or graze from some of your extra action. Just keep an eye on it, and if it happens more then maybe a smear is in order.

DBML · 25/02/2019 21:47

Quickies have never been my husbands thing either. Every time we have sex, it’s ‘thorough’ and generous.
We’ve been together 23 years, so you never know, you might get to enjoy this a while yet 😉

HoppityFrog3 · 25/02/2019 21:53

@JinglingHellsBells

Some men who masturbate a lot find it hard to come during sex. It doesn't feel the same for them. Same thing can happen if they use porn to masturbate- they aren't getting the visual stimulation with a woman (in the same way.)

Ouch! Wink

MissConductUS · 25/02/2019 22:00

If he wasn't attracted to you he wouldn't stay hard that long.

Count your blessings, sister. 😊

PierreBezukov · 25/02/2019 22:00

Porn was the first thing that crossed my mind. I'd be investigating his porn habits TBH.

HoppityFrog3 · 25/02/2019 22:04

Hmm, yeah, porn could be a possibility.

6 times in 2 days is a weird amount of times to shag.

I know some people celebrate it and say 'woo hoo, you go girl!' But in reality, who the hell wants to shag 14 times a week? Confused

Sorry, but there's more to a relationship, and 'getting to know someone' than shagging.

And the OP clearly isn't happy with it. Her OP states that. It's too much for her.

Quality is better than quantity.

HoppityFrog3 · 25/02/2019 22:06

Actually if you did it 3 times a day, it would be 21 times a week, not 14.

Wow. Way too much. Confused

Namechange8471 · 25/02/2019 22:09

Sorry but half an hours isn't ages op !

JinglingHellsBells · 25/02/2019 22:09

HoppityFrog3

I did say 'not in the same way'.

You're misreading.

I didn't say he didn't like what he saw or the OP was unattractive.

There is a BIG difference between watching porn and real life.

SpiritedLondon · 25/02/2019 22:12

Jesus. They don’t see each other every day and they’re at the start of the relationship so of course they shag a lot. Things will probably calm down a lot as they continue to see each other. Believe it or not men actually practice delaying their orgasm because they don’t bloody want to cum after 5 minutes - it’s even got a name “ edging”. Maybe he’s just got stamina rather than it being a negative reason.

poppingoff · 25/02/2019 22:12

And the OP clearly isn't happy with it. Her OP states that. It's too much for her.

No, she's just not used to it and thought it maybe lasted so long because he didn't find her attractive.

whitehorsesdonotlie · 25/02/2019 22:15

Thrusting for 30 mins each time, do you mean? So 180 mins of thrusting over 2 days? Yes, I’d say friction burns.

I’d also wonder about porn - that’s a long time for a young bloke to last with a new relationship...

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/02/2019 22:15

Half an hour of pumping is a hell of a lot! Are we including foreplay in that or not? If not then I would have got very bored even with changes of position!

I think (serious face) that this is another indicator of the porn culture. Men see porn and assume that sex must last for ages and that as long as they keep pumping away, she will orgasm several times. So they train themselves to last longer thnking that that is what women want. Comes, no pun intended, as a shock when they find out that real life sex isnt like that.

Windowsareforcheaters · 25/02/2019 22:16

Why is good sex and lots of it a problem?

Enjoy.

Maybe83 · 25/02/2019 22:19

What rubbish. It's the start of a new relationship and making the most of limited time.

When dh and I started going out we would spend whole weekends staying in barely getting dressed and only stopping to sleep eat and shower.

Before the day to day of normal family life means kids have to be fed, looked after and taken to school!

It's how I plan to spend my time when I can reclaim my house Grin.

GlovesGalore · 25/02/2019 22:21

Viagra use is a lot more common than a lot of people realise.
Young men using it, not because of ED, but because their attitude to sex, self-image, idea of what’s “normal” has all been royally fucked by porn.
Obviously don’t know if that’s the case here but it’s the first thing I thought of reading the op.

Jsmith99 · 25/02/2019 22:23

OP sounds like she is having a great time, this guy sounds like a very good, unselfish lover and he still gets criticised by some posters.

On MN, men just can’t win, whatever they do or don’t do.

Windowsareforcheaters · 25/02/2019 22:25

Really?

None of you had sex 6 times a weekend when you first started out together? You really find the OP unbelievable?

I must be really lucky or some of you must be really unlucky. Sounds about right to me. Given the right circumstances (no kids, enough sleep) we could match that nowadays and me and DP are old and wobbly.

Just relax and enjoy.

Steeve · 25/02/2019 22:29

some men who masturbate a lot find it hard to come during sex. It doesn't feel the same for them. Same thing can happen if they use porn to masturbate- they aren't getting the visual stimulation with a woman (in the same way.)

Usually with these it'll manifest in erection strength too. With porn stimulus premature ejaculation is far more more common than delayed ejac. When I've used Viagra (medication caused) it's not affected ejaculation massively.

Have fun, OP!

Quintella · 25/02/2019 22:30

6 times in 2 days is a weird amount of times to shag.

I know some people celebrate it and say 'woo hoo, you go girl!' But in reality, who the hell wants to shag 14 times a week?

Loads of people!

It's new, it's exciting, they're into one another, and they can only see each other at weekends. Why are you finding this so confusing?

TearingUpMyHeart · 25/02/2019 22:31

God I love edging

I have to admit, I also wondered 'viagra' but more about the 6x part than the duration.I don't know if it makes them last longer as well?

I'd love this. My first boyfriend was like this. I could come multiple times so easily. Joy.

DBML · 25/02/2019 22:31

But in reality, who the hell wants to shag 14 times a week? confused

Me.
I’m 39, my DH is 39 and having sex is one of my favourite things to do. Lazy morning sex, naughty midday giggly sex (when not in work) or evening sexy sex, complete with fancy pants and toys...I’ve never said no and have always been an enthusiast participant.

wishywashy6 · 25/02/2019 22:32

My BF is 26, I'm 36. He generally lasts anywhere between 15-30 mins, sometimes shorter (he can't control it as long if I give him a bj!) sometimes longer

I think he just sounds like a decent lover, enjoy!

@HoppityFrog3 is 6 times in 2 days really a lot? If my kids aren't around I can't keep off mine 😳

Quintella · 25/02/2019 22:32

OP sounds like she is having a great time, this guy sounds like a very good, unselfish lover and he still gets criticised by some posters.

I know. Utterly bizarre.

'But whyyyy are you enjoying this great sex? I don't understaaaaaaaand'.

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