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Relationships

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Original poster

Would you break up with your partner if they got fat?

87 replies

settings · 25/02/2019 00:21

Keeping fit is important to me, as is eating healthily.
When I met my dp he was a runner and pretty in shape.

Since dating for two years, he eats more and more junk food and has piled the pounds on. He's not fat but you can tell he has a slightly rounded belly when his top is off.

For me getting intimate is not so nice now. Physical shape is a huge attraction for me

OP posts:

PickAChew · 25/02/2019 00:23

After only 2 years, with no kids together, probably.

It gets more complicated if you have more history.

TheSnootiestFox · 25/02/2019 00:26

No, because what's going on in his heart/soul/mind is far more important than his abs.

And I'm neither shallow nor a supermodel myself. What a sad post. . .

Dreamzcancometrue · 25/02/2019 00:29

I personally like athletic men. Not to fat but not to thin, I don't expect a gym bunny physique on a potential partner, as I've not got one myself. . .would be hypocritical.

But like a pp said its about his character that should matter...

Redskyandrainbows67 · 25/02/2019 00:36

grinningcheshirecat · 25/02/2019 00:52

No.

Halo84 · 25/02/2019 00:53

No. But if you’re that shallow, best to let him go now.

grinningcheshirecat · 25/02/2019 00:54

My DH makes me feel hood, when I stop liking the way he looks I'll close my eyes during sex.

You do realise that having a relationship based on looks will get difficult once people get older with wrinkles and soggy bottoms?

MarthasGinYard · 25/02/2019 01:09

'soggy bottoms?'

BeachtheButler · 25/02/2019 01:12

No, and the fact that you are even asking the question makes me wonder about how solid your relationship is.

Crowdo · 25/02/2019 01:25

Potentially. It would depend on the partner. Some of the boyfriends I've had, a major part of their appeal was their physical appearance. So yeah, if they looked very different, I might not fancy them any more and would break up. But other relationships are based on personality, having not had an initial attraction. So in that case, it would be irrelevant. You can begin to fancy someone because they are very kind, for example, and that's all you see when you look at them.

So yeah, it would depend.

BringMeAGinandTonic · 25/02/2019 04:55

The title asks: Would you break up with your partner if they got fat?

But in your post you say: "Since dating for two years, he eats more and more junk food and has piled the pounds on. He's not fat but you can tell he has a slightly rounded belly when his top is off."

Are you ready to throw in the towel now? Or are you planning what you will do if the weight gain continues?

IMO: A slightly rounded belly isn't a dealbreaker. Could be stress. It also has been winter, many of us put on a bit during the holidays. Does he drink? This can put on weight. All in all, I'd try and look after DP's wellbeing over focusing on a "slightly rounded belly" but that's me. I know others might think this was more of an issue than I do.

Has he stopped running?

Monty27 · 25/02/2019 05:02

You sound very shallow. I feel sorry for him. Maybe he isn't happy in his relationship. Clearly you don't love him.

GigglesForEd · 25/02/2019 05:14

Obese yes, not bothered about health yes. Extra pounds/no six pack, no way 😯🤔

category12 · 25/02/2019 05:14

If you're not happy in the relationship, break it off. You can split up for any reason at all, no one has to stay if they don't want to.

If his minor weight gain is a dealbreaker for you, then really you aren't that fussed about him as a person, so he'd be better off with someone whose love isn't limited to appearance.

Mamaryllis · 25/02/2019 05:19

Well I haven’t yet. Twenty years and three kids and you get a bit more mature I guess.

Oceanbliss · 25/02/2019 05:25

If he gets too fat you could swap him for a fitter better looking man who turns you on. However, if the new guy turns out to be a lying, cheating, bastard who treats you like garbage then you'll have a great opportunity to reevaluate your priorities

Fartingisfun · 25/02/2019 05:35

We both got fat.

And old. And wrinkly and grey. We've grown odd lumps and bulges all over the place during the course of the last 30 years.

My dh lost his lovely thick hair... my chin found it... his bum is still pert but got wrinkly and my tits are a good six feet south of where they started.

So no. We were lucky that the packaging that attracted us as fit and gorgeous kids with fabulous bodies was quickly discarded in favour of the real gift.

WhiteDust · 25/02/2019 05:57

If it bothers you OP, you should let him go now so that he can be with someone who loves him as he is.

GnomeDePlume · 25/02/2019 05:59

Fartingisfun

Totally agree. We too have been together for decades. We arent the people we were when we got together, it would be weird if we were. We have a few family photos about the place and I look at the pictures and just think 'gosh, how young we look'.

HulksPurplePanties · 25/02/2019 06:10

I'd break up with him now OP, because it won't get better. You will BOTH age, change, go through periods of sickness, health and stress that will affect waist lines and activity. If a mild weight gain is bothering you this much now, what will you do when he's 65 and needs his knees replaced and can't run anymore? Or what will he do if you have children, have an emergency section, and have that annoying over hang, or if you put on a little bit of weight in the run up to menopause and after, or when things naturally start to sag?

Dump him and have a good long look at yourself in the mirror.

MissedTheBoatAgain · 25/02/2019 06:13

To OP

Never marry as in your case it is sure not to last.

QuitMoaning · 25/02/2019 06:15

My partner and I have both put on weight, him much more so than me but I could still do with losing a few pounds.
I do not find his belly very attractive at all, I just don’t, but I love him very very much and couldn’t be without him. He adores me whatever.

(We have both agreed to try and lose weight which will be good for very many reasons)

Gone4Good · 25/02/2019 06:30

God help you if you are in an accident or get a serious illness. It can happened in a blink of an eye.

PregnantSea · 25/02/2019 06:32

No. I think it's pretty shallow and pathetic to dump a long-term partner over that. Imagine if a woman struggled to lose the baby weight and her husband left her because of it? People would be calling him a disgusting pig.

Although I think that after 2 years if you haven't developed the kind of connection that transcends the physical then maybe it is best to end it. It probably wasn't going to last anyway.

Megan2018 · 25/02/2019 06:45

No.
We wre both fatter than when we met.
That would be as bad as DH leaving me if I can’t shift the baby weight.
There is more to our relationship than what we look like, you love the person not their appearance. How shallow!

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