I can't stand my partner right now.

[nothingdaboutmyp]

I'm in my third trimester so not sure if this is hormonal or if he's just being a total arse.

All he does is play his games and shout his mouth off on his headset talking his friends even though he knows I'm trying to sleep. If he dies on the game he will shout and swear and throw his controller over the room.
He hasn't done anything around the house for months.
He CONSTANTLY borrows money from me and doesn't pay it back and tbh it seems the only time he speaks to me with any respect is when he wants money.
He's been paid today and picked up less than half of what he should have, and it's no where near enough for him to put half towards our bills let alone pay me a penny back, AND HE DOESNT CARE! He won't call his boss to question him about it. So even though I'm on shoddy maternity pay, I'll have to go into my savings AGAIN to pay our bills, and then have to lend(give!) him money for his bills yet again. I started saving when we were TTC, and most of it has gone because he randomly quit his job for 3 months just after we got our positive (apparently someone spoke to him in a tone he didn't like). So I had to support us both during that time with absolutely zero thanks or appreciation. It's not even about the money, he's my partner and I'd happily support him where I can, but IM ON MATERNITY the money isn't going to just appear!!! I tried to save so I could still pay half to everything whilst I was off and he's had it all! I just want a bit of appreciation and more importantly team work and for him to pick up a bit of the concern regarding how we're going to pay our rent - for where our child is going to live!!!😡😡😡😡😡

No OP, stop bailing him out, that is why your DP is taking the piss.

@HappyGoGoLucky you might find it useful to read the thread

Oh just kick his arse out OP. You and your baby deserve so much more than the wanker your living with. Don't try with him any more, concentrate on you, he is a waste of oxygen and is bringing nothing but hurt towards you.

The house is annoyingly in his name, as I was on probation at work when we moved in. I say annoyingly because I've paid for everything; bills and furniture and will now have nothing to show.

It's fine though, I'd rather lose the money than have to carry on this way anymore. Plus, it means I can just have a clean break from him now.

Feeling pretty shitty this morning not enjoying being on my own at all, could really do with some company 😞

There will be tough times but you have done the right thing.

And he wasn’t really company anyway was he?

If you need something to do can I suggest the freedom programme online? Go to a cafe and have a nice drink

We are all here with you

When are your family back? Can you go see any family or friends today and let them know whats happened. It might feel good to talk to them about it or show them this thread so they can see the extent of how he was.

and as Rainbowqueeen said, you wouldnt have had any decent company stopping at home would you, your better off where you are.

Will you arrange to get your things back? Dont go alone if you do.

Hiw much does he owe you?

Are there any bills in your name?

Go and collect your stuff when he’s at work and take the furniture, kitchen stuff etc you bought. It’s yours.

Get new friends.

Oh no he certainly wasn't company, it's not that I'm missing him it's just that I'm struggling a bit and could do with someone to talk to.

I've been back and got all my clothes, he's at work and I'll go back next week when I've got some help to get furniture and baby's stuff. I got quite sad leaving with all my bags, I really thought that would be the house my child would be born into.

This is all so unfair and shit. Sorry I can't help but be a bit down today.

@IncrediblySadToo about £2,500 but I know I won't get that back now.

All the bills are in my name, when I go back next week I'll take pics of the meters and call everyone necessary to tell them that I've moved out and give them his name.

Why not go back today and get some of the baby stuff and do all the meters etc. The sooner you do that the better really. Plus less time for him to give the baby stuff away or whatever batshit thing he might do.

£2500 is a lot of money, but thankfully it’s not more. I’d be looking at it as a small price to pay for my freedom from this twat.

Do not go back to him!! It would only get worse.

I've got my hospital bag and notes it's just all the furniture and stuff I can't manage by myself that I'll need to go back for. The meters are also in awkward places so I could do with a hand getting them as I my bump is enormous!

You’re doing great!

Proud of you, i know i would rather my mum be a single parent than raise me with a man like that, and i would never let myself stay with a man like that.. he doesn't just sound vile but also... a bit mental to be honest :S

Try to get back ASAP again as he may change the locks and hold the baby things to ransom.

The longer you leave cancelling the bills etc, the longer you are on the hook to pay them and you CAN take your furniture! Hiring a man and van and putting it into storage is cheaper than you think.

Good luck, mama and well done for being strong enough to walk away.

You can also choose to keep him away from the birth. Stress can affect a healthy delivery so think about your needs over his wants and maybe blacklist him until the time comes to file a CMS case against him (and you should!!).

Definitely hire someone to go get all the stuff you've paid for, it's yours and you'll need it when you get a new place. You're doing great

I'm so proud of you nothingdaboutmyp!

By the way, if you ever scratch your head and wonder how he can say the things he did/does, it's worth knowing about the concept of 'projection'. So when someone accuses you of the very things they're doing and being - with not so much as a hint of irony - that's because they're essentially confessing unknowingly about their own behaviours. Understanding this can often save us a lot of confusion and anger.

Well done you. Things can only get better from now on, even if things are tough you don’t have to put up with that twat! Good luck for the future with your baby x

Hope you're doing okay @nothingdaboutmyp

I've just RTFT, very inspiring that you have rationalised the situation you were in and made positive changes, even with your hormones going haywire in the last weeks of pregnancy. It is painfully close to what I went through but alas I never left.

I'm okay I've been in hospital again but back with family now. To be honest I haven't had time to feel sorry for myself and I've been concerned about little one, who seems to be okay. I'm 35 weeks now and hoping for an induction at 37 as I just really want her here now and safe but i know they'll do whatever is safest for us both.

NC from him, he's aware I've been in the hospital and I asked my sister to let him know we're both okay as I think that's fair. Just really trying to stay calm and keep her safe and not think too much about the long term future - easier said than done but I am doing my best!
Thanks a lot for asking about me, means a lot xxx

I've not been here in a little while, great to see you bit the bullet and left!
X

Run. Don't look back. Think of your self worth and your baby.
Surround yourself with people who respect you. X

You sound so sensible and brave. What a fantastic mother you already are, making sure your child comes into a loving home. I cannot imagine how horrible it would be to have a small baby and that prick shouting at computer games while you're trying to feed.

You've totally done the right thing. He sounds so pathetic.

I agree with others, book a mover and once you have your furniture, remove your name from all utilities. He is abusing you, and were you to stay, it would escalate.