I can't stand my partner right now.

[nothingdaboutmyp]

I'm in my third trimester so not sure if this is hormonal or if he's just being a total arse.

All he does is play his games and shout his mouth off on his headset talking his friends even though he knows I'm trying to sleep. If he dies on the game he will shout and swear and throw his controller over the room.
He hasn't done anything around the house for months.
He CONSTANTLY borrows money from me and doesn't pay it back and tbh it seems the only time he speaks to me with any respect is when he wants money.
He's been paid today and picked up less than half of what he should have, and it's no where near enough for him to put half towards our bills let alone pay me a penny back, AND HE DOESNT CARE! He won't call his boss to question him about it. So even though I'm on shoddy maternity pay, I'll have to go into my savings AGAIN to pay our bills, and then have to lend(give!) him money for his bills yet again. I started saving when we were TTC, and most of it has gone because he randomly quit his job for 3 months just after we got our positive (apparently someone spoke to him in a tone he didn't like). So I had to support us both during that time with absolutely zero thanks or appreciation. It's not even about the money, he's my partner and I'd happily support him where I can, but IM ON MATERNITY the money isn't going to just appear!!! I tried to save so I could still pay half to everything whilst I was off and he's had it all! I just want a bit of appreciation and more importantly team work and for him to pick up a bit of the concern regarding how we're going to pay our rent - for where our child is going to live!!!😡😡😡😡😡

I think you’d be best leaving him, he will only be a hindrance to you whilst he carries on gaming and you’re trying to adjust to your new baby.
I dated a guy like this previously and it was awful, I’m relieved that I got out when I did. Some men just don’t grow up, you and your little one deserve better. It will be thought but honestly once you get out, you will feel so much better. A few months down the line and you’ll be glad you made the break.

I would probably pack a bag and go stay with family for at least a week or so and clear your head. Being in that house is only going to stress you out because nothing is going to change.

So sorry you have to put up with this when you're so close to giving birth but bringing a baby into that situation would make it ten times worse. Even solid relationships suffer a bit when you add a newborn into the mix.

A few days away might make him realize how bad his behavior has gotten. Or it won't and you'll know you made the right decision.
Have you been together long?

You said that your family will help. Please just go to them.

If you stay with him, things are about to get a whole lot worse when your baby arrives. You will need help, sleep, love and compassion, none of which you will get from him.

Please jsut leave. You would get help with tax credits/universal credits and child benefit when the baby is born. You will not be short of money i promise you.
Can you not just get the locks changed so he cant get in? Hes a monster.
Failing that I know it would be a huge task but i would move out and go back to your family, the people who love you, they will support you through this difficult time and then when you are recovered and built your money back up you can find a place of your own for you and your daughter. He's never going to be the guy you want him to be, hes abusive, you need to get out and away from him BEFORE your daughter is born. Please dont stay near him.

Honestly i feel so sick reading this, how he's treating you is just vile.

OP I'm feeling anxious reading your posts. Please go to your family's. Cancel any contracts that you are currently financially liable for.
You are going to have a real child soon. Your boyfriend is not going to change. He's a financial burden and an abusive idiot. It would be horrible to expose a child to that environment.
There are plenty more (better) fish in the sea.

You've all really helped me so much. I've definitely realised today that I have to end this, it isn't a relationship it's hideous.

Last night I heard him slagging off his cousins exP for not giving her money for their kids, and saying how he will always provide for his child, I'm almost due and he hasn't given me a penny nor bought our child a thing!

Today I've been quite poorly, kept having really cold sweats and being sick, told him and he just said have a nap. He came home and sat outside for 30 mins on Facebook (I saw that he was online). When he came in I asked if everything was ok and he shouted at me for questioning him?! And then just sat next to me on his phone, didn't even ask if I was ok.

When he had a cold the other day I literally ran around like an idiot running him baths, making hot water bottles and cups of tea.

Oh and also, I don't want to admit this because you'll all think I'm an idiot, but this morning he asked me to lend him some money and it was all "beautiful, you're the best, please, thank you" ETC. As soon as he gets the money that's it. Back to talking to me like I'm a piece of slime again. I HATE HIM. I'm about to go home and pack a bag. I'm scared because the family I'm staying with aren't there so I'll be alone and I know I'm just going to be really upset. But I can't stay in that house any longer.

It's super sad because yesterday I worked really hard on the nursery and now I've got to leave it all.

That did not go well. He shouted and screamed at me and every time I spoke he put his fingers in his ears and told me how annoying my voice is.

I started to cry and he told me I was "a norze" and that it's my fault he doesn't like me anymore. He also said I was boring him when I tried to ask where it had all gone wrong.

I got a few items and my sister said she will come back with me tomorrow to get the rest.

I'm just on the way to my family members now, not looking forward to spending the night alone but it's the only place I can go and at least I can get all my crying out my system. My poor child having to deal with all of this 😭

Don't put him on the birth certificate at all or give the baby his surname. I wouldn't bother to contact him at all when you go into labour. He's an abusive cunt.

I’m so sorry nothingabout that’s such a big heartbreak during a very vulnerable time. Sending good thoughts, hang out here with us if you get too sad or lonely.

Luckily we'd already agreed to give baby my surname and as for the birth certificate, as were not married he'd have to come to register and that would mean getting off his game so he's already taken the choice out of my hands with that one.

I'm safe now and surprisingly I'm not crying anymore and as much as I feel stressed I actually think I am going to be okay.

I've blocked and deleted his number so he can't send me any abuse, and in case I start to act like an idiot and message him when I am feeling lonely. The less contact I have with him the better. I need to realise the man he just was to me is the man he really is, the nice charmer of this morning is just him being a nasty little leech.

Well done OP!! Your going to be upset and stressed but in time you are going to be happy and stress free just you and your beautiful little baby who will love you endlessly. You are so brave for putting yourself and your little one first, you will be an amazing mummy

Well done OP. I'm sure that along with the initial sadness of the breakup you'll feel relief that no one is abusing you emotionally and/or financially, plus you'll get to raise your gorgeous baby in a peaceful and loving home

So relieved to see this update. You've absolutely done the right thing, although at times over the next few weeks/months, when you're in the tough newborn days, it probably won't feel it. Going through those tough times alone will be infinitely better than dealing with them alone whilst someone 3 feet away plays a computer game and doesn't help at all. And talks to you both like shit.

I am so happy to read this... You WILL be ok!
You precious baby will be here soon and you will fell nothing but love! Enjoy

Well done OP!! Your going to be upset and stressed but in time you are going to be happy and stress free just you and your beautiful little baby who will love you endlessly. You are so brave for putting yourself and your little one first, you will be an amazing mummy

Absolutely. I’m really pleased you’ve gotten away OP.

Stay strong x

Well done you! You have taken your first parenting decision- leaving an abusive, manchild, cunty chops, twat face.

If your name is on the Internet I would cancel it or suspend it for a few weeks. I would send a message via a trusted friend or family member that "I expect you to have taken you belongings and left MY home by X date" if he doesn't then ask for the police to escort you home and be there whilst he leaves the property.

Get yourself down to your local surestart centre- they have family finance type advisors that can sort out what you can claim.

GOOD LUCK! And bloody good on you girl!

Well done OP!!

You have done the best thing for your little one!

In time you will heal.

Well done OP, be is a very nasty man.

I hope you are comfortable and able to sleep.
Sadly abusive men fool many women so you are not alone, don't blame yourself.

Well done! You will be much better off now and you are giving your baby the best start in life

I can't believe he said that I deserve it all and I treat him badly. What baffles me so much about his behaviour is that whenever I question him about anything he tells me how horrible I am and how controlling and evil and such a moaner etc. But he never leaves?? Because I do everything for him and pay for everything and he has the life of Riley. And by telling me I'm horrible it makes me want to do even more for him because no one wants to be a rubbish partner. He's so smart and manipulative it's scary.

I'm really impressed with myself and how strong I feel, don't get me wrong I'm not saying I'm over it and everything's fine now. But I honestly thought I'd be in bits all evening and wanting to speak to him and to be honest, I can't imagine anything worse than speaking to him right now. We don't have anything left to say.

I guess for me, I've been grieving this relationship for months so hopefully that is going to make it easier to adapt to the new normal?

I imagine someone treating my child like this and it fills me with fury, so there's no way I could bring them into a world where it seems like the norm.

Thank you all so much for your messages, you have no idea how much you're helping. He's so snidey and smart and without your reassurance I know eventually I'd believe I was in the wrong.

This is so nice to read op. One more little baby will be brought into the world into a family circle that loves and cares for them, not a miserable atmosphere with an abusive useless father in the house. Well done you :) I know it feels hard and wishing you the best for the birth and newborn days. Remember to ask for help.

Hi OP. Just checking that you are cutting all financial ties with him? Ie can you take yourself off the lease, utility bills etc. Close/Change your bank account or at least the access password. Also redirect your mail to your new address (that may take a few days to start working) to ensure and legal, financial and general mail doesn't go to your old address You can do that online I think. Good luck OP.

I don't understand why woman keep having children with inconsiderate, lazy pricks! He doesn't sound like he is doing you any favours, so just do what you should've done a long time ago - leave!

Glad he is out of the picture! You deserve so much better. You can do this x