Not sure if DH's behaviour with female friend inappropriate

[ladymay62321]

Using friend's account bc she had a very similar problem and got great advice here - just finished reading her thread and was blown away by MNer wisdom! So DH (2nd marriage) has a lot of friends but about 10 months ago met a 30year old female (he's mid 50s). She is in a long-term relationship too.

Lately I've been a bit suspicious of his relationship with her. I don't think they're cheating but feel like there's something there. I want to confront DH in a calm way but not sure if these signs are worth bringing up:

• he calls her and she calls him 'just to say hi' - considering the age gap I think it's unusual
• he went to her place the other day to do some work, then stayed and had lunch with her while her partner was not home
• Their texts are along the lines of 'hope i didn't miss u xx' and 'just saying hi, will call later xx'
• I know for a fact that he has 'complained' about me to her bc it came up in a different conversation w him. He told her I like to end the night early while he likes to stay out
• and I know for a fact she complains to him about her OH because on the phone I heard him tell her 'you need to stop having big fights and learn agree to disagree'
• he scolds her for smoking and said 'you're going to get pregnant one day' and shouldn't do it (she's not a child!)
• it was her birthday recently and he is building her some furniture (he's extremely time poor so that kinda seemed odd. I didn't think he needed to give her present anyway)

Gosh reading back it all sounds petty and I am probably making DH sound like a wonderfully helpful and caring person but it just feels...off? I have never been threatened by this woman and have only started raising an eyebrow after these signs.

I am kind of predicting the responses and know I'm probably overreacting. I guess I just need some sense knocked into me

Well good luck OP. You came here wanting answers. You got them. Ignored them and are now back peddling. I personally think your DH will keep you sweet for a while and probably now not tell you he’s still meeting her. Call me cynical.

Exactly what @Decormad38 says.

That's fine, I understand that it boosts his ego but I agree, these things can get out of hand and I don't think DH is aware of that.

I'm glad you wrote this bit.

And I would affirm that - actually you would preface him to be 'no contact '

No drama - best ALL round.

'Red'
What a lovely couple to help you through your divorce.
My sister and bil were the same with me.

My friend was the loveliest kindest person bubbly and friendly.

She also lost a parent around the same time.

She ended up so broken she couldn't leave the house.

BUT with support (because we all love her ) she did recover and now has had a new man who is very lovely for the passed few years.
Last year they bought a fantastic house - huge garden and have a dog :)

Ex dh realised what a fantastic person he lost and it only started out as 'flattery ' with ow , who is still with , despite begging my friend to let him come back over and over.
men can be so ....,..(choose your only adjective) and as for the women that think any man is fair game - wake up !!!

Flip it on its head OP. How would your husband react if you were texting kisses to a much younger man and telling him that he's 'much too handsome to be smoking'? Plus spending precious time making him gifts?