Sex help!! Do I turn him off?? TMI

[Sherah88]

Right, I’m going out of my mind thinking he doesn’t find me attractive anymore, he’s 31, and keeps losing his erection during sex. To the point he has to pull out, get himself hard again, and try again. I’m thinking all sort of things. When he’s getting to reach climax, he doesn’t open his eyes, he doesn’t look at me during sex much at all. He told me in his past relationship (there was a considerable age gap him being younger) that he had to think of something else as things were that bad. I am certainly not shy in the bedroom, im 3 years older than him and I’m 2 months pregnant now with his child (this also happened before I was pregnant) and I’m thinking the worst things, he’s going to cheat etc. We had sex a couple of weeks ago and I fell asleep after (both had Been satisfied) but an hour and a half later I woke up to him watching porn in bed next to me. I of course went mad and did ask why and if I aren’t enough for him (yeah I get everyone watches porn but time and a place) I’m not a woman who is pathetic or nags, hence why I’m asking you all for advice! Help!

@Wallywobbles

That last paragraph says everything. I have none of that. It's a performance, nothing less. Honestly don't know in which direction to go. I certainly won't be instigating anything (which is usually me) and I'll see what happens from there.
But, as it stand 18 months in im having problems that you wouldn't expect to be having at this stage

@Prinstress
Thankyou. I'm starting to see the light. It's a normal thing for him to pin blame back to me, so I didn't expect this situation to be any different.

@Wallywobbles
He's also obsessed with anal sex? Strange. I think it's the porn effect. Anal sex is "dirtier" than your normal sex so I think it's more of a thrill

I'm so sorry for the TMI, but the anal sex is often due to the anal passage being tighter than the vaginal canal hence replicating a death grip while also applying sexual control over their partner.

@Steeve
That sent me cold.
Also tmi, but I have videos he's sent me of him masterbating. It doesn't look any different? Any more rigorous than I've seen before

I'm at work and I honestly can't cope, all this is too much I don't know where my head is at or what's going on or what he's thinking or doing without me

I've had similar issues with my DP before, I the male in this situation.
At times it takes a while to get in to action mode, sometimes it starts dropping if were switching around too much etc...
There's dozens of reasons it could be, and I one of the last ones are probably that he doesn't find you attractive any more.

Feel free to message for more info, but basically, 90% the time, sex is fine just that 10%, which doesn't coincide with any noticeable stress etc.

Yet, with porn it's never an issue, I guess much in the same way that a woman who has years of practise of pleasuring herself will pretty much always do it no fuss, whereas with even the most considerate and a led guy, they'll still be those odd times where its just, never going to happen.

If it's becoming a regular, serious issue with you two. Talk about it, and suggest a GP visit, could be a medical reason behind it. But if he's fit and well, get some Viagra! You can get it from Boots/Superdrug etc and if he doesn't want the face to face there's online pharmacies (reputable ones) that sell it half the price of Boots/Superdrug etc.

In my last relationship I tried my best to keep my confidence but In this one it's completely destroyed

@CheerioHunter
Thankyou. If he no longer finds me attractive I find this so hard to get my head around, it's only been 18 months and I haven't changed. I'm 2 months pregnant but still too early for any change.
As I've said before I think I tick some boxes for him but not all. But that might be my own insecurity talking.
As it stands now I have so much in my head but I honestly don't want to look him in the face

He sounds terrible. It's sad that you are pregnant by this wanker.

I wouldn't tip toe around it. If he doesn't get a grip on his porn habit, he's never going to have a decent relationship with anyone.

Porn can be very dangerous, take it from me! I defo agree with pp it totally warps your sex life! He's addicted and he needs to sort it or ur in for a load of misery

I should be excited about my pregnancy.....but instead I'm worried about my porn obsessed porn star performance squinty eyed cum fiancé
Pissed off and hurt is an understatement

I agree about porn addition it was very hard for me stop looking has it is available literally on tap nowadays this increased my masturbation addiction like fuel to a fire thankfully now my age as calmed me down not saying that I have completely stopped but I’m more in control and happy with once a day
My concern for you is that once you have the baby you will be a lot more tired for him if his doing this now I fear he will be doing it a lot more

My concern for you is that once you have the baby you will be a lot more tired for him if his doing this now I fear he will be doing it a lot more

Been there, done that. Your fear is the reality to be honest.

@wonchop
Then he's out

When I used to masturbate a lot I found more enjoyment by Gripping my penis hard hence why he may require a tighter option (anal) to get more feeling as he may have a less feeling in his knob due to regular masturbating
I hope he takes on the daddy role and is to tired to play with himself I found that the more spare time I had the more I played also I did suffer from anxiety masturbaton and porn gave me my medicine and high kick
PM me if you require any more male advice

I wouldn't be getting into private messaging with a guy who tells us about how he grips his dick when he wanks, tbh

@AnyFucker 😂

You have enough on your plate already, op !

@AnyFucker
I think you're right

Kjuat telling you how I was 15 years ago thankfully my addiction as gone but obviously others struggle with it ; I believe depression caused my downward spiral

ED from porn is common in men of his generation.

Our gp friends tell us quietly that there is an ‘explosion’ of pork related ED, particularly among young men. They have told me it isn’t easy to treat. Resources are scarce, and worryingly parents of young teens do not seem to understand the damage being done to their children.
Some men/boys can not function at all with a real woman.

Op you are going to have gather your strength and tell him that he needs to see a doctor, that it is no longer something you can live with.

Your child will grow up seeing this stuff, normalising porn and continuing the cycle. You need to put your foot down, delicately or not. Pregnant or not. This is destroying your self esteem and your relationship.

Pork - porn

I think wonchop was being helpful and he came across respectful to me, as someone who has suffered this problem he was sharing his experience.