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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Can't stand my husband touching me

80 replies

sleepyawake · 16/02/2019 23:30

Married nearly 10 years, together 17. For the last while every time he comes near me I flinch and when he touches me I literally get shivers, and not in a good way. He'll try to kiss me occasionally and I give him my cheek. I can't even stand to peck him on the lips. Earlier he ran his hand round my waist and I froze, I could feel his touch there for ages afterwards, felt like it started aching where he touched me which sounds crazy but it's horrible. I just can't stand it. Any ideas, anyone else gone through this and come out the other side? Have 2 children and generally a happy life apart from anything remotely intimate. Help!

OP posts:

K8ate · 02/03/2024 14:37

So amongst lots of other things, you basically said he put on weight even you’ve done the same.
He hasn’t done anything wrong either from what you have said.
You sound very shallow.
I only hope if you divorce him, you don’t take him for everything he’s got and i pity the next man who follows in his footsteps.
Grow up.

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 02/03/2024 18:21

user1479305498 · 17/02/2019 11:10

Porn not poem!!

Sorry that made me laugh, I thought it must have been a really cringe poem

whatrthechances · 02/03/2024 18:51

I feel exactly like this about my long term dp, been together 20 odd years with dc. dp is still quite an attractive guy but I am no longer feeling it for him. definitely got the ick with him and cannot stand him touching me and definitely no longer desire him sexually. even though we had an amazing sex life in our younger days. I think once it's gone it's gone. I must admit my head was turned by another man recently and I did briefly act upon it and oh wow how my sexually desire came back! not for dp though just this other guy. made me realise dp is no longer for me. had the awkward conversation and told him I'm no longer in love with him but unfortunately we are still living together at the moment.

CDN · 07/01/2025 02:13

TortoiseLettuce · 17/02/2019 08:11

I’m in a similar situation. DH has a good income so I chose to stay in order that DC can grow up in a nice middle class area with a mother who doesn’t have to work all the time. I don’t earn enough to offer that as a single parent. Plus I’d have to split custody with DH at least every other weekend, possibly 50% of the time, whereas at present I have DC pretty much all the time because he works a lot. And because he works a lot I imagine quite a bit of “his” custody would involve DC just being dumped on his mother, who is an utter nightmare and would model unacceptable behaviour that would get brought home with DC.

Leaving means I could gain a romantic relationship with another man but in the process would lose most of my time with my DC, whose life would become much worse. I won’t do that, it’s selfish and my first priority is DC not romance. There’s no guarantee I’d even meet another suitable man anyway. Why would I ruin my DC’s life just for the chance that I might fall in love?

TortoiseLettuce

I have read ALOT of comments online. This has to be the most SELFISH comment I have EVER READ!!! You treat your husband like an ATM. Leave and let him find a women who ACTUALLY LIKES HIM!!!!
This is why men have walked from
modern women

RealAzureSquid · 25/01/2025 01:05

I am married, I never stepped wrong in the relationship I have, but recently I met my colleague from University to work on an assignment and we had a few drinks, we end up kissing, I regret that and I feel horribly guilty every day since then, I blocked that man and I am not planning to talk to him anymore, but I have a bad mood, I am crying and I feel like I want to die, I can’t eat, like nothing makes sense, I should have never let that happen and I don’t know how to fix my mistake, I don’t know how I can make myself to feel better. Please don’t be too judgmental, help me if you can but please do not make me feel like I am a bad person as I already think that.

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