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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

AIBU

83 replies

SadVillageGirl · 16/02/2019 06:00

I've been away for 3 weeks helping my daughter with her newborn. I'm due back tonight and said to my partner shall I come straight over (we have been together more than 2 years, live apart) but it won't be til around 8pm. He said that's too late and he will be asleep. So I said well shall I just let myself in and snuggle up to you, but still the answer is no. He said just come over Sunday. I'd also cancelled work on Monday so we could be together as he had booked Monday off too and he said he's working now so I'll just see him Sunday and then again next Friday. (He works away in the week).

Am I being unreasonable in thinking he would want to see me ASAP? Or is he just not into me? My history with him is not great as he has history of narcissistic abuse so I'm thinking this is just another one of his tactics to make me feel hurt in return for "leaving" him for 3 weeks. He's very jealous of the relationship I have with my children.

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 16/02/2019 06:08

Why are you with him? He sounds like an arse.

Shoxfordian · 16/02/2019 06:27

Until I read your last paragraph I thought you were being a bit needy but why are you with someone who is jealous of your children and abusive? End it.

user1483387154 · 16/02/2019 06:28

get rid of him

SleepingStandingUp · 16/02/2019 06:30

history of narcissistic abuse

another one of his tactics to make me feel hurt

He's very jealous of the relationship I have with my children

Can I suggest a new plan? Spend Sunday packing up any of his stuff from yours, then drop it off at him, go home and eat chocolate and praise yourself for escaping this idiot?

LaughingCow99 · 16/02/2019 07:01

He sounds horrible. Let him sleep without you for the rest of your life. Honestly, he sounds like a p rick.

LaughingCow99 · 16/02/2019 07:02

His* life

Robin2323 · 16/02/2019 07:08

You're worth more.
Everyone is.

Original poster
SadVillageGirl · 16/02/2019 07:08

Thank you ladies that's all good advice. I know I need to do it Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
SadVillageGirl · 16/02/2019 07:12

Thank you i really needed to hear that. I feel like I have to beg for his crumbs.

OP posts:
AlwaysCheddar · 16/02/2019 07:31

Ditch him.

Yippeee · 16/02/2019 07:35

Why would you even want to see him this weekend?
Snuggling up to a narcissistic abuser?

MarthasGinYard · 16/02/2019 07:37

'He's very jealous of the relationship I have with my children.'

There's your answer

I'm guessing you don't want another dc....

Original poster
SadVillageGirl · 16/02/2019 07:48

I'm 54 and have had a hysterectomy so no more dc!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
SadVillageGirl · 16/02/2019 07:53

He said if I could get there earlier then I come round but I can't because I have an 8 hour journey back from my daughters. It's hard enough leaving her and my grand baby 😢

OP posts:
BikeTart · 16/02/2019 07:57

He's punishing you.

Travisandthemonkey · 16/02/2019 08:00

Genuinely never go round again.
Go and get some therapy

I know you’ll ignore me, because the minute he thinks you’re going to walk out, he’ll ramp up the wonderful side of himself and stop punishing you. But you know deep down this is not love.

Bananalanacake · 16/02/2019 08:03

Thank God you don't live with the jealous, miserable git.

pictish · 16/02/2019 08:03

“He's very jealous of the relationship I have with my children.”
Then why are you entertaining this arse at all?
Why on earth would you want to let yourself in to snuggle up to someone who resents your kids?
Bin this fucker off.

bagpiss · 16/02/2019 08:10

Oh my word.
Drive half way home Saturday,
Check into a nice hotel/spa place Saturday night to monday,
Have a lovely time.
Drive home Monday.
Dump the knobhead.

Lozzerbmc · 16/02/2019 08:16

I would echo the above why be with someone like that? Hes punishing you by not seeing you because you wouldnt get there earlier... a decent man would be happy you want to support your children

pictish · 16/02/2019 08:49

And yes, it’s another one of his tactics.
Seriously...this one is not a keeper. He’s completely incompatible with your life in the most basic of ways.
Shock this self-absorbed twat to the core by telling him he’s got his head up his own arse and never going back.

You don’t live with him, you can disentangle yourself just like ‘that’.

Dhalandchips · 16/02/2019 08:51

Are you dating my stbxh? Sounds awfully familiar! Good luck, you know what you need to do Flowers

Musti · 16/02/2019 08:52

You should never be with someone who is jealous of your children!

category12 · 16/02/2019 08:54

You would really do better for yourself cutting this fuckwit out of your life.

You see him as a narcissistic abuser, so why are you willingly putting yourself through it?

Life is too short for this shit.

Original poster
SadVillageGirl · 16/02/2019 08:59

Thank you ladies you're right. The day my grand baby was born he shouted at me for 2 hours solid saying I spent too long at the hospital and he was lonely 😢

OP posts:
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