AIBU

[SadVillageGirl]

I've been away for 3 weeks helping my daughter with her newborn. I'm due back tonight and said to my partner shall I come straight over (we have been together more than 2 years, live apart) but it won't be til around 8pm. He said that's too late and he will be asleep. So I said well shall I just let myself in and snuggle up to you, but still the answer is no. He said just come over Sunday. I'd also cancelled work on Monday so we could be together as he had booked Monday off too and he said he's working now so I'll just see him Sunday and then again next Friday. (He works away in the week).

Am I being unreasonable in thinking he would want to see me ASAP? Or is he just not into me? My history with him is not great as he has history of narcissistic abuse so I'm thinking this is just another one of his tactics to make me feel hurt in return for "leaving" him for 3 weeks. He's very jealous of the relationship I have with my children.

Also the incident where he said he'd call the police is ridiculous. He again is evidencing his control.

You can't get in yrouble for that.

He is a grown adult.

If he rings you and threatens self harm just call the police and they will check on him.

He is doing everything he can to keep you in his life but not for a happy relationship. He just thrives on the control.

I know you want him to be who he may have been in the past but he isn't that man. He's shown his true self.

Thankyou everyone. I'm in bed with a migraine now but I'm going to ring women's aid today.

I think it goes without saying you should dump him.

Would it be possible for you to move near to your daughter?

Sorry to hear you're unwell but glad to hear you're going to ring Women's Aid - it is free and my friend was always able to speak to someone whenever she rang, and she got great advice. I can't praise WA enough.

Remember he only threatens self harm when he thinks he's losing control. He's an abusive dickhead.

When you offered to go and see him and he declined you should have taken him at his word. I understand he has used emotional blackmail in the past but he is telling you he doesn’t want to see you. It’s an opportunity for you to not contact him and then make a plan for how to end it completely.

How are you today op ?

I’d seriously consider moving close to daughter too, is that an option?? You could be a wonderful, valued grandmother, rather than this horrible man’s girlfriend to abuse and manipulate.