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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable?

106 replies

Strawbridge · 10/02/2019 14:31

Is it me or has men changed for the worst?

The last two people that I invited for dinner both turned up completely empty-handed. Surely, if someone invites you for dinner and have gone through all the struggle to cook food from scratch , the least you can do is at least bring a bottle of wine.

Am I wrong to expect this?

OP posts:
Boysandbuses · 10/02/2019 14:48

2 men didn't bring you something when they came to dinner, so you assume men as a whole are shit?

Yabu

Original poster
Strawbridge · 10/02/2019 14:51

For the years, I have noticed that most people will come to a dinner party empty handed. I was brought up to always take a small gift for my host.

If these men were going to Tesco, would they leave their wallet at home?

OP posts:
AnoukSpirit · 10/02/2019 14:57

You're not tesco.

Original poster
Strawbridge · 10/02/2019 15:00

@Anouk, I still think that it's sad that a grown up man can come for dinner with his hands swinging. I don't tolerate such rudeness, he will not be invited for dinner again!

OP posts:
NottonightJosepheen · 10/02/2019 15:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Boysandbuses · 10/02/2019 19:08

As pp said, you arent tesco. Tesco don't invite you and offer what they have for free.

I would never go for dinner without something. But that doesn't mean 'men have changed for the worse', just like women they don't have a hive mind. I also doubt there is some sort union with every man who unilaterally voted they would no longer take something to a dinner party.

How well did you those men before these incidents?

notanothernam · 10/02/2019 19:17

What has the fact they're men got to do with this?

ShatnersWig · 10/02/2019 19:31

Actually, it was once considered incredibly rude, in terms of etiquette, to take wine to someone's house if you were invited to dinner. These days it is common but it I actually tell people NOT to bring something - because it tends to mean you end up with far too many bottles hanging around, very often stuff you wouldn't actually drink yourself.

But, regardless, you're being unreasonable in turning this into a sweeping generalisation of all men, so grow the fuck up.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 10/02/2019 20:20

Well I thought this would be about many things but not bringing "entrance fee" was not one of them. Men all over the world do many many rude,selfish,inconsiderate,scary,violent,disgusting things. The absence of a bottle doesn't even register.

greendale17 · 10/02/2019 20:26

* I was brought up to always take a small gift for my host.*

^Me too

mimibunz · 10/02/2019 20:30

Are these men you already knew?

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/02/2019 20:35

Send a questionnaire to all future potential gentleman callers so you can assess their manners before inviting them to eat in your home.

notanothernam · 10/02/2019 20:39

@greendale17 your vagina (assuming you have one) has enabled you to remember this.

Dieu · 10/02/2019 23:43

YANBU, as in it's rude to turn up empty handed to dinner, BUT not just men!

Original poster
Strawbridge · 11/02/2019 11:32

I cooked a five course meal - even had a small gift for him. Surely, a little flowers to say thank you would not have hurt.

It just show that he is not considerate at all.

OP posts:
Boysandbuses · 11/02/2019 11:36

So who was he too you that you had gone to all the effort for?

What was the occassion?

Bringbackthestripes · 11/02/2019 11:37

Presumably you invited them over to share a meal and enjoy their company not just to receive a gift.

It’s rude to expect a present but delightful if you receive one.

Personally I would always take something but I wouldn’t judge someone for not.

Original poster
Strawbridge · 11/02/2019 11:45

Potential boyfriend, but you can tell a lot about a man when you invite him for dinner. I was not expecting a gift, however, a little flowers would have been nice.

I guess that he is the type that will forget your birthday.

OP posts:
Mscandylamb · 11/02/2019 11:49

Expect nothing so you wont be dissappointed. The sour taste these men have left in your mouth will linger.... Thats why I dont expect anything from anyone anymore.

Boysandbuses · 11/02/2019 11:59

OP why are you being cagey about who he was?

Potential boyfriend could be someone you have been dating to someone you never met in real life and met through tinder.

The reason I am asking is that this seemed a big deal for you, a 5 course meal and a present for him is quite full on. Perhaps he thought he was just coming round for tea and he wasn't expecting this huge deal.

Or is there a chance he though dinner meant a roll in the hay?

Original poster
Strawbridge · 11/02/2019 12:16

He knew that he was coming for dinner. Let's just say that people are brought up differently. Some people have no shame regardless of gender.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 11/02/2019 12:22

Well if he did, boys, he was out of luck! Must try harder!

notanothernam · 11/02/2019 12:40

You can also tell a lot from a woman who makes a fuss about wanting a gift and for demonising a person and whole gender based on old fashioned etiquette, perhaps best you both let it be.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 11/02/2019 12:47

I cooked a five course meal - even had a small gift for him.

That's quite full on. I've been with OH for 10 years and haven't made him a 5 course meal.

DerelictWreck · 11/02/2019 12:56

The man in question has had a lucky escape. Bloody hell OP you're hard work.