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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband’s short temper

103 replies

littlemissrainfall · 08/02/2019 17:40

I really need to vent and hear from people who may have been in a similar situation.

My husband has a short fuse. He doesn’t lose his temper often, and he has never laid a hand on me. But, I know that he doesn’t lose his temper more often because I am calm and I am Non reactive to situations, and we don’t argue much so generally there isn’t a lot of need for temper. But when there is a reason for more fuelled discussions, his temper flies. It always starts with him nagging or getting at me, and eventually I snap back at him and he can’t handle it, but I’m
Not a robot or a sponge. He will storm around the house and break things. He once snapped my laptop in half because I accidentally washed a (cheap) watch that was in his pocket and he said I didn’t care that I’d washed it. He is very intimidating when he behaves like this and although he’s never hurt me physically, it scares me. I know the short answer to this is that no one deserves to feel intimidated, but it’s never that black and white. These “episodes” have happened around 7 times in our 7 years married to varying degrees. Once he threw a candle that was lit in our kitchen and the wax went everywhere. I know this is wrong, but because it doesn’t happen often it’s so easy to forget and get on with things. Honestly, I don’t know what to do or what I’m even wanting from writing this.

We don’t have kids, and he’s generally a kind and caring husband... I just don’t know where to go from here.

OP posts:
WH1SPERS · 09/02/2019 22:36

Well done.

Please dont let him back for at least a year, it will take him a long time to work this through with professional help.

And you need space to get therapy. Please think about doing The Freedom Programme too.

Unihorn · 09/02/2019 22:47

I have had similar outbursts to your husband in the past and CBT helped me control my anger. I couldn't explain why I would react as I did (throwing things, punching doors, screaming) and it didn't even seen to be certain things that set me off. Hopefully he can find a way to manage his temper.

slummymummy35 · 13/02/2019 23:42

Placemakring

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