:-( desperately upset and need opinions...xx

[slovesg]

Hi All

Please may I ask....how often you and your other half have a cuddle (like a quick few seconds one or a longer one for 5 or so minutes)?

Boyfriend said that couples don’t do that when they live together every day but....I don’t think that is true :-( I would like a quick cuddle here and there but he refuses. Says he doesn’t know what a cuddle does for me and that they’re pointless.

I say....we used to cuddle lots when we first met and he says that this has changed because back then he didn’t used to see me often and now we live together it’s not needed (he says - were not kids anymore).

I am so lonely in my relationship :( xx I suffer with a lack of sex from him.....but.....I could kinda cope with that if I had some cuddles now and again.

Please give me your honest opinions as to how often you and your partner have a cuddle x

Maybe I am being childish for wanting this but....a life without any physical contact and intimacy is just horrid. I feel so depressed :( x x

What??? When I'm in a relationship I cuddle all the time. If we're on a sofa, we're usually cuddling. Obviously, not all couples are the same, but cuddling is the best part of a relationship. IMHO

We have been together 14 years and cuddle every day . It’s sad that he thinks a cuddle is pointless

Blimey me and dh cuddle all the time.

Before he gets up for work
When he gets in from work
When we’re cooking
If we pass in the house sometimes
Sat on the sofa watching telly
In bed before sleep

As I said all the time

Do you instigate cuddles or just expect your DP to do it? We randomly cuddle all the time, both of us instigating the cuddles. Been together 16 years.

That's so sad. I actually think cuddles are extremely important, more so when you live together, it's an affirmation of how much someone cares. That's not to say he doesn't care of course but he needs to be more sensitive to your needs.

Wow. I am so grateful for these replies. He makes me feel like I am abnormal.

Sadly it is me that has to approach him for a cuddle. He isn’t bothered about cuddles and so does not feel the need to approach me xxxxxxxx

We cuddle loads. While watching tv, waiting on the kettle to boil, in bed, doing the dishes, I've even been known to go in for a cuddle while walking from the living room to the kitchen!

Need my cuddles

If he doesn't want to have cuddles or sex it doesn't sound like he wants a relationship, he just wants a housemate!

God I’m crying buckets at this xx thank you for making me feel normal. Was beginning to wonder!

Affection, when theres a lack of intimacy in the relationship, is so important. I'd imagine you must feel very lonely without it.

Me and the other half aren't really romantic but we cuddle all the time.

We cuddle a lot. Cuddles are very important to me/ us. Been together 23 years

And as for "we are not kids anymore" me and DP often laugh about how we are 40 year olds who still act like we are teenagers. Cuddling to me is intimate and makes me feel loved and safe. Plus DP knows I'm a sucker for a cuddle and a forehead kiss

Wish I’d come here weeks ago. Thank you so much for your support xxxxxxxxx What kind people

Actually cuddling is important. A minimum of 20 seconds to release oxytocin, try it you can feel it. Oxytocin is important for bonding. Naked cuddling is the best and good for the bond and I don't mean sex.

When the intamacy goes the relationship is doomed. Topping up the bond is important.

He has made me feel like I’m being unreasonable and I’m not normal xxxxx

Cuddle constantly, I can’t walk passed him without pulling him in for a love. I’d be really sad if we didn’t cuddle to be honest OP, I am so sorry 😣

Affection is such a beautiful part of a relationship. He clearly doesn't see that. I'd suggest leaving it.

What exactly is the point of him then? You’re basically house mates / flat mates.

😭 xxxxx

Been together 23 years. Still cuddle daily. He gives me a kiss if I make him food, and we hold hands every evening watching TV.

I love cuddles that last hours and leave you smelling their scent and hair on you. Don't settle for cold and detached.

Nearly twenty years in and still have cuddle everyday.

Any ideas on what I can say to get him to change? When I try to speak to him he just closes me down...Like tonight....he went in the bedroom and shut the door on me. This happens all the time. I’m lonely and want a cuddle.....I try to get one and talk to him about why he won’t give me one and end up even more lonely because he shuts the bedroom door on me. :( x x so I’m just sat here like....I don’t know what to do....I’m running out of options...I am so lonely :( .I am a good girl to him :( x x

You are not abnormal. Cuddling is normal. We kiss and cuddle all of the time. Your DP has the problem not you.