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Original poster

Engagement ring confusion

304 replies

Blueflower22 · 04/02/2019 01:08

Hello ladies,

I am wondering what I should do as I am in a scenario where dp can't afford to get me an engagement ring that I actually like. Anything in his price range isn't that nice, I don't really want to say I don't like anything because I don't want to hurt his feelings. So I'm not sure what to do, because at the same time I don't want a ring that I'm not keen on and that I don't like at all, but I don't want to delay the wedding even more because it's already going to take him three months to save up for a ring in his price range. Any advice? Has anyone been in this situation?

OP posts:
SuspiciouslyMinded · 05/02/2019 20:35

If only a fancy wedding ring could be a guarantee of a happily ever after!

I am sorry for your partner to be honest - saving for a ring you like for three months? Delaying a wedding because of it? I’d delay it indefinitely if I was him.

Sorry, but the style and price of the engagement ring would be the bottom of my marriage priorities.

Good luck anyway.

genius1308 · 05/02/2019 20:57

I'm quite surprised at some of the logic on here. People calling the op 'grabby' and 'shallow' for wanting a really nice ring that she loves (hopefully she'll be wearing it everyday for the rest of her life). But then saying she's being ridiculous for only spending £250 on a wedding...thats only ONE DAY! My engagement ring cost £1150 20 years ago. Its not flashy, its just a single diamond solitaire on a plain gold band. I wear it everyday and have never taken it off (and hopefully I'll be wearing it for many years to come). I recently took it to the jewellers to get cleaned and they valued it while i was there. Apparently its now worth £3400!!!!! So maybe its worth investing for the future 😉

genius1308 · 05/02/2019 20:59

Oh and my plain, gold wedding ring only cost £80 Wink

Loulzze · 05/02/2019 21:03

I get it OP. It's not about the money for me but I saw a bloody beautiful ring in a window, far too expensive for anytime soo but I've accidentally fallen in love with it and I'll gladly have another but know I'll be a bit disappointed no to get the one I set my heart on. I only plan on getting married once and I want it to last a lifetime so I obviously want it to be exactly how I'd like it to be. Although I'd happily put the rest of the funds up! Don't really own anything else 'special'

Atalune · 05/02/2019 21:06

Etsy have gorgeous rings. Also a white sapphire is just a beautiful as a diamond, isn’t graded in the same way and so is not as expensive.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 05/02/2019 21:21

A practical tip for you. If you go to somewhere like The jewellery quarter in Birmingham or to Hatton garden in London you will be able to get a decent ring for £1000. So much cheaper than high street retailers! The wedding band will be a fraction of the price. I hope you find something you like!

Hushhush89 · 05/02/2019 21:23

Why does it need to be expensive? My husband brought me one that didn't cost a lot (I was pregnant with our first baby at the time so was saving everything we had for baby stuff) I'll admit I was very keep on it as it was very bulky, but I still wore it. Somehow I lost weight while pregnant and I actually lost my ring as it fell off when I was out so he took me shopping so I could get a new one and also look at wedding rings. I hated the experience (plus price of them) in the end I chose a set from argos that should have been £99 but was reduced to £20 and what I love about the rings, in side the engagement ring it says forever and the wedding ring says yours (didn't notice this till months after purchasing them)

I don't understand why women want 100's or 1000's spent on them but then I feel the same about weddings too

Hushhush89 · 05/02/2019 21:33

Oh my God, just read some of your replies, his budget is £1000 (that's more than what my wedding cost and I got married in a church) and you can't find something you like for that, how much do you want him to spend on it then?

Wahwahooo · 05/02/2019 22:06

My advice would be to take any ring if you love him. I met the man of my dreams, we planned to get engaged. Went ring shopping and I just felt quite apathetic about the ring / couldn’t find anything that grabbed me ( and the amount he was happy to spend was good) it wasn’t that I wanted bigger, better etc just that it was all about him and us and the ring didn’t actually matter at all when it came down to it. It was just that as I am quite into jewellery I was assuming I wanted one.
Anyway as fate would have it his ( mid twenties ) daughter found out, epically hit the roof and caused so much grief he called it off as he was struggling to deal with the stress of being torn. 😢

Amitskitshaw · 05/02/2019 22:15

We were too skint for rings. Been together 30 years now. Still haven’t got one Smile

JustPoppingOut · 05/02/2019 22:28

We had a big wedding but viewed the engagement bit as a bit of a giggle, so I chose the biggest, blingest fake diamond I could find and six months later it was replaced by a wedding ring anyway.

Are you one of a large group of friends and acquaintances that have all recently got married, and they all made a big show of their fabulous engagement rings??

mirialis · 05/02/2019 22:35

The OP has never said she wanted him to spend more than 1k on principle; she has said that 1k is his budget and they are looking at standard engagement rings in that price range and she can't see one she likes.

The whole "my husband gave me a piece of string to wrap around my finger and we've been together 100 years" or "my ex-husband spent £1m on my ring but he's still and ex" is completely and utterly irrelevant.

OP needed advice on a) where to look for different rings in the price range or b) how to talk to fiance without hurting his feelings because she loves him and wants to protect his pride but doesn't want to spend 1k (or less) on a ring that's not actually something she wants to wear every day for the rest of her life.

ToftyAC · 05/02/2019 22:38

Quite honestly, if you can’t even pick something for a grand you want the ring for the wrong bloody reason. Jesus wept! What a massive waste of money.

browneyes77 · 05/02/2019 22:43

H Samuel currently have a Valentines 50% off sale on.

How big a diamond do you want? I’ve googled it and can see plenty of solitaire rings under £1k

browneyes77 · 05/02/2019 22:45

A practical tip for you. If you go to somewhere like The jewellery quarter in Birmingham or to Hatton garden in London you will be able to get a decent ring for £1000. So much cheaper than high street retailers! The wedding band will be a fraction of the price. I hope you find something you like!

I’m in Birmingham and many of my friends went the the Jewellery Quarter to get theirs as well.

namechangedforanon · 05/02/2019 22:53

Many rings from Hatton Garden are still a rip off if you look at London Diamonds Official haul of shame .

Also below poster "if you can't get one for £1000"

You could say that about anything !

post amended by MNHQ as per OP's request

namechangedforanon · 05/02/2019 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ as it's a duplicate.

anxiousbundle · 05/02/2019 22:58

I'm another one in the 'if you want a more expensive one- contribute some money yourself!' I can't understand allowing your partner to spend that much money on a ring when you actually can't afford it. Very strange.

I get wanting to have a nice ring- we all do! But as previous posters have said, you can get lovely ones for under £300 and if you can't find one you like for under a grand and having a strop about it then you're definitely in this for the wrong reason imo.

Just let him choose you a nice one he can afford and as years go by, maybe when you're earning too, you can upgrade it if you wish.

CherryPavlova · 05/02/2019 23:02

The trouble is cheaper retailers aren’t going to offer ethically sourced and conflict free diamonds and gold. I know my daughter was clear she didn’t want to wear something that was beautiful but tainted by lost lives. You do pay a premium for traceability of diamond.

ImogenTubbs · 05/02/2019 23:04

Maybe just don't get an engagement ring. You don't have to, you know. Overpriced, generic tat produced by an unpleasant industry. Save the money and put it towards the wedding. Or get a big old shiny fake and wear it with pride. Grin

RupaulsGagRace · 05/02/2019 23:09

OP i suggest going to somewhere like Jewellery quarter in bham. Most retailers buy from them. Choose a diamond and a ring style and you'll get it within budget at 30% of the price you'd pay in retail stores.

Alternatively if u see one u like thats above his budget, get it on interest free credit? He can put some money towards a deposit then pay it off slowly per month. A colleague of mine did this. Made a lot of sense as spending 1000 in one go is a lot and could be spent elsewhere on honeymoon/wedding. So they put down a couple hundred deposit and paid 50 a month for 2 years or something.

Theres lots of options out there.

Mollypolly123 · 05/02/2019 23:34

My husband bought me a ring about 3 weeks before he died, it wasn't my taste, but that is my most treasured gift from him now, he chose it and that is what means so much,

paslamer · 05/02/2019 23:36

For £1000 you could get a beautiful antique ring - look on eBay. I've got a couple of rings off there that cost a fraction of the price of their insurance value.

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